In which I am, once again, the world's biggest idiot.
Since a year ago Sept. I've been dealing with anxiety. It has waxed & waned, but was always present. Add the SAD of the last few months into really seriously waxing anxiety and life has been, well, hellish. Sounds melodramatic, but there you go.
For a variety of reasons I have resisted anti-anxiety drugs. Until this week. I took the first one Wednesday evening and woke up Friday morning cheerful and with no compulsion to pick at the sores I've been picking at for weeks. I had a mildly difficult chore to do that afternoon. I showered, dressed, went out to lunch and did my chore. And realized that I felt normal. I wasn't shaking, picking at myself, and desperate to go home. I walked around University Village looking at the changes. I petted a dog and held a conversation with her owner, a perfect stranger. I was very nearly high as a kite from relief and gratitude.
It isn't all over for sure & certain. It feels like a very thin skin, if you know what I mean. The buspirone may be what's making me very sleepy. Thursday & Friday nights both I went to sleep around 9:30pm & slept until morning. Or maybe it was exhaustion. I don't know, we'll have to see. I haven't noticed any other things that could be side effects. I also have a history of psychoactives working excellently and then fading out. However, if that happens, I'm on a very small dose which could be easily increased. If there aren't side effects.
In the meantime, whew, what a relief. Don't be an idiot like me. If your doctor wants you to try something, go ahead, you can always stop it if you want. But at least try.
For a variety of reasons I have resisted anti-anxiety drugs. Until this week. I took the first one Wednesday evening and woke up Friday morning cheerful and with no compulsion to pick at the sores I've been picking at for weeks. I had a mildly difficult chore to do that afternoon. I showered, dressed, went out to lunch and did my chore. And realized that I felt normal. I wasn't shaking, picking at myself, and desperate to go home. I walked around University Village looking at the changes. I petted a dog and held a conversation with her owner, a perfect stranger. I was very nearly high as a kite from relief and gratitude.
It isn't all over for sure & certain. It feels like a very thin skin, if you know what I mean. The buspirone may be what's making me very sleepy. Thursday & Friday nights both I went to sleep around 9:30pm & slept until morning. Or maybe it was exhaustion. I don't know, we'll have to see. I haven't noticed any other things that could be side effects. I also have a history of psychoactives working excellently and then fading out. However, if that happens, I'm on a very small dose which could be easily increased. If there aren't side effects.
In the meantime, whew, what a relief. Don't be an idiot like me. If your doctor wants you to try something, go ahead, you can always stop it if you want. But at least try.