I think I've said this before,
But I can't find it in the archives. Someday I should really put tags on things.
Okay I was wrong: There *is* a god and he hates me.
Yesterday was about as sucky a day as they get -- absent the death of a loved one. When I formulated that thought yesterday the nasty little voice in the back of my head said, "The day's not over yet." But it is now so I feel safe in saying that.
While I'm recovering my strength (part of the day was spent worshipping at the porcelain altar) I've involved myself in a mildly entertaining flame war on the SMOFs list. For edification and entertainment of everyone else, I'll offer my list of changes to things when I am God-Empress of the Universe. Only those prompted by yesterday.
1. Medication will not have side effects. Especially not ones that lead to people cycling between hypomania and depression. On a weekly schedule.
2. Brains will not have deficient biochemistry. Especially they will not get hypomanic so that you over-commit yourself and then get depressed so you can't do much of anything let alone the over-committed stuff.
3. Rain will be confined to night when the sun isn't shining anyway.
4. Credit card companies will be run *entirely* differently. Especially credit cards will not expire. And when replacement cards get lost in the mail they will not have to be cancelled because they will only work when handled by someone with the proper brainwaves or fingerprints or something. Also, credit card company account managers will not be allowed to be insufferable and condescending to their account holders when said account holders need their help.
5. Mail will never get lost. Especially credit cards.
6. UPS will deliver packages when they're supposed to. Especially Saturday deliveries that you stay home all day for. They will also realize that not everyone gets out of bed at the crack of dawn and might not hear them knocking if they're asleep when they *do* get around to delivering on Monday.
7. Husbands will not get so exhausted they mistake Your black cloth briefcase for their black leather briefcase adding a roundtrip to the farthest reaches of Bellevue to Your day.
8. Drugstores will be run for the benefit of the customer rather than the staff. Especially customers who have been trying to get a prescription filled for 3 days now.
9. Seattle drivers will all drive a lot better than they currently do. Especially faster on the highway.
10. Insomnia, jetlag, the common cold, and vomiting will all be abolished except, possibly, from My torture chambers.
I hope your Monday was better!
Okay I was wrong: There *is* a god and he hates me.
Yesterday was about as sucky a day as they get -- absent the death of a loved one. When I formulated that thought yesterday the nasty little voice in the back of my head said, "The day's not over yet." But it is now so I feel safe in saying that.
While I'm recovering my strength (part of the day was spent worshipping at the porcelain altar) I've involved myself in a mildly entertaining flame war on the SMOFs list. For edification and entertainment of everyone else, I'll offer my list of changes to things when I am God-Empress of the Universe. Only those prompted by yesterday.
1. Medication will not have side effects. Especially not ones that lead to people cycling between hypomania and depression. On a weekly schedule.
2. Brains will not have deficient biochemistry. Especially they will not get hypomanic so that you over-commit yourself and then get depressed so you can't do much of anything let alone the over-committed stuff.
3. Rain will be confined to night when the sun isn't shining anyway.
4. Credit card companies will be run *entirely* differently. Especially credit cards will not expire. And when replacement cards get lost in the mail they will not have to be cancelled because they will only work when handled by someone with the proper brainwaves or fingerprints or something. Also, credit card company account managers will not be allowed to be insufferable and condescending to their account holders when said account holders need their help.
5. Mail will never get lost. Especially credit cards.
6. UPS will deliver packages when they're supposed to. Especially Saturday deliveries that you stay home all day for. They will also realize that not everyone gets out of bed at the crack of dawn and might not hear them knocking if they're asleep when they *do* get around to delivering on Monday.
7. Husbands will not get so exhausted they mistake Your black cloth briefcase for their black leather briefcase adding a roundtrip to the farthest reaches of Bellevue to Your day.
8. Drugstores will be run for the benefit of the customer rather than the staff. Especially customers who have been trying to get a prescription filled for 3 days now.
9. Seattle drivers will all drive a lot better than they currently do. Especially faster on the highway.
10. Insomnia, jetlag, the common cold, and vomiting will all be abolished except, possibly, from My torture chambers.
I hope your Monday was better!