(no subject)
have you ever woken up from a bad dream and felt relief that it was over but then looked around and realized that you would probably prefer the bad dream over real life? as if waking up were the end of your only escape...
try explaining this feeling to people that care about you and see how much further your life can go towards bad. because they see this as them failing to inspire any kind of joy and love in your life. They take it personally and they take it out on you. They think if you could just lift your head from the pillow things would be alright. you'd be interesting again. loving again. worthy of love again.
i have a new goal in my life... to find out why everyone is searching for an escape. Whether that escape is overdosing on heroin or obsessing over reality tv the point is the same - to get away from something that is ever present and uncontrollable.