dayoldblues
I have to be to work in an hour. i havent cried yet so that's a good sign. But it is friday and i had the last 2 days off so it isnt like my schedule is too strenuous or anything. It helps that I have a couple of things to look forward to tomorrow, the first is a viewing of a sublet on hoover with andrew, the second is a quick trip home for the night to pick up some meds and say hi to the fam and hopefully hanging out with sara.
i'm really tired of struggling to get through each day. if i could move up to weeks at a time i would be a bit happier. time passes so slowly. i feel like i just sit an wait for something else to happen but it never does. this is where someone tells me that life doesnt just happen and you have to make something of it.
i've felt this way for so long i just dont know how to begin to think differently. Find the good in everything. be more optimistic? stop complaining about it and just do it. just live. it shouldnt be that hard. it shouldnt be hard at all to just accept life.
but I guess that fighting part of me that wants everything to be different than it is right now is the same part of me that loves to help other people. the same part of me that can feel everyone elses pain. i'm damned if i do damned if i dont.
i need to learn to live with this burning feeling inside my stomach. maybe it will keep me warm. maybe it will eat me alive.
i'm really tired of struggling to get through each day. if i could move up to weeks at a time i would be a bit happier. time passes so slowly. i feel like i just sit an wait for something else to happen but it never does. this is where someone tells me that life doesnt just happen and you have to make something of it.
i've felt this way for so long i just dont know how to begin to think differently. Find the good in everything. be more optimistic? stop complaining about it and just do it. just live. it shouldnt be that hard. it shouldnt be hard at all to just accept life.
but I guess that fighting part of me that wants everything to be different than it is right now is the same part of me that loves to help other people. the same part of me that can feel everyone elses pain. i'm damned if i do damned if i dont.
i need to learn to live with this burning feeling inside my stomach. maybe it will keep me warm. maybe it will eat me alive.