the fairy, the witch and the duckling...
Can you figure out the meaning of the title? It clearly sums up my life tonight.
First the good news.
Candace's surgery went well. She's coming home tomorrow and I am happy. She is the greatest fighter I know and I love and respect her choices. I have been reading a lot about breast cancer. I realize that there is a lot more fighting she is going to do, but she is a leader and I believe her experience will help others along the way. Michael, her husband is also doing well. It's good that right now, his cancer is not 'active' (there is no real 'remission' for his type of cancer, but right now he is solid and healthy). Also, she has COBRA insurance. It is expensive, but at least she has coverage. I sadly, still have Madalyn's birthday present sitting in my living room. *sigh* Her birthday was last Saturday. I WILL get that in the mail this week. I'll take it to school tomorrow and deal with it then.
Now the bad news.
I've been thinking about getting lapband surgery. I feel like such a failure with the whole weight thing. My whole life it has been struggle and feeling like if I was just thinner... blahblahblah. My relationships have suffered because of it and ended because of it. I realize there is no such thing as 'emotional bypass' surgery, but god... I am such a control freak in my life and I feel like I am completely lost...
And the ugly news.
My dad has some growth in his neck. He refuses to talk about it. My sister sobbed her way through the afternoon saying "i'm not ready to lose my dad" over and over and over. *ugh*. I sat there stoic. I am not ready to lose my dad either. But I also know, that I can't go to the bad place off the bat. I'm not gonna. I can feel it down there, bubbling. The panic. My father refuses to answer the phone or give me any more details other than "we'll talk about it when you get here". You can't force my dad or really tell my dad anything. Sound familiar? Anyhow... I can't fix anything right now. I'll be there in three weeks. In three weeks I'll figure out what is going on and what I need to do. *ugh* I believe my dad will be here for 10 more years. I trust that knowledge. My grandmother was 93, my grandfather was 95. He's got good genes.
In the meantime, graduation is coming up. Thank god this year I don't have so many students. This should be a no-tear graduation. THAT I honestly don't think I could handle.
First the good news.
Candace's surgery went well. She's coming home tomorrow and I am happy. She is the greatest fighter I know and I love and respect her choices. I have been reading a lot about breast cancer. I realize that there is a lot more fighting she is going to do, but she is a leader and I believe her experience will help others along the way. Michael, her husband is also doing well. It's good that right now, his cancer is not 'active' (there is no real 'remission' for his type of cancer, but right now he is solid and healthy). Also, she has COBRA insurance. It is expensive, but at least she has coverage. I sadly, still have Madalyn's birthday present sitting in my living room. *sigh* Her birthday was last Saturday. I WILL get that in the mail this week. I'll take it to school tomorrow and deal with it then.
Now the bad news.
I've been thinking about getting lapband surgery. I feel like such a failure with the whole weight thing. My whole life it has been struggle and feeling like if I was just thinner... blahblahblah. My relationships have suffered because of it and ended because of it. I realize there is no such thing as 'emotional bypass' surgery, but god... I am such a control freak in my life and I feel like I am completely lost...
And the ugly news.
My dad has some growth in his neck. He refuses to talk about it. My sister sobbed her way through the afternoon saying "i'm not ready to lose my dad" over and over and over. *ugh*. I sat there stoic. I am not ready to lose my dad either. But I also know, that I can't go to the bad place off the bat. I'm not gonna. I can feel it down there, bubbling. The panic. My father refuses to answer the phone or give me any more details other than "we'll talk about it when you get here". You can't force my dad or really tell my dad anything. Sound familiar? Anyhow... I can't fix anything right now. I'll be there in three weeks. In three weeks I'll figure out what is going on and what I need to do. *ugh* I believe my dad will be here for 10 more years. I trust that knowledge. My grandmother was 93, my grandfather was 95. He's got good genes.
In the meantime, graduation is coming up. Thank god this year I don't have so many students. This should be a no-tear graduation. THAT I honestly don't think I could handle.