I just wanna know why. Why did he lie to me so much? Why has he turned this so nasty? Why is it that I broke up with him, yet I'm the one doing all the crying?
My guess is that if he's being nasty its to lash out against hurt he's feeling. I've seen my borther and other people do the same thing, and get bitter, hurtful and angry over what would otherwise have been a 'boring' breakup. The breakup totally floored me after he'd been wanting to see you again so bad.
My other guess is that he lied because he was afraid you'd be mad or yell at him otherwise, either that or he wasn't paying attention to finances, anyway. Unfortunately this falls into the 'dumb guy' stereotype. My Dad is guilty of similar crimes in not telling Mom where money was going. It was the straw that broke the camel's back in a 21-year marriage(which should have broken up LONG before that, IMHO).
I've never been emotionally involved with him, though as far as I know he's never lied to me, nor has he been known for it. His exes will probably have aswers for you that make a little more sense, and possibly contradict what I'm saying.
He DID seemingly break up his first marriage just because some girl found him attractive, and he was convinced they were 'soul mates'. I think everyone thought he was being ridiculous, perhaps starstruck by someone expressing attraction to him, and TOTALLY taking for granted what he had in Miriam. This was the first time he'd struck me as someone who 'traded up', or just ran after the next shiny that came along. When I first met him he was in a relationship that I think lasted about 5 years. SHE was someone I was surprised he stuck with, they seemed akwardly compatable at best.
In short, he's doesn't strike me as someone who's great at thinking ahead.
I was wondering, you guys obviously didn't break up over just a lousy $500. I hope everything works out, especially for Jasper.
Thank you for the in depth reply.maryjanegoddessNovember 6 2007, 05:30:18 UTC
He has told me that he lies out of fear of my reaction. And it's not just that he doesn't pay attension to finances, he lies about them, and lies about how much he's working. He told me he was working full time the three months I was in Florida. He told me when I got home that he was just working part time. (Not to mention the fact that he hasnt held a job more than a few months since way before Jasper was born.)
It was the lieing about not paying bills and not working full time that was the "staw that broke the camel's back". There were other issues, from him lieing about (and) cheating on me around the time he got me pregnant. (He has recently admited to it, though I always knew he was lieing to me about it), to one of the biggest issues for me, how I so very often felt taken for granted,(Sound familiar?), and just plain irresponsible inactions. He is more of a teenager than a 30something adult. Then there are other very personal issues that I will not devulge on LJ.
Do you have a messenger? I would really like to chat with you more. I really appreciate your blunt and candid demeanor, I'm the same way.
Re: Thank you for the in depth reply.sarmonsterNovember 6 2007, 06:58:07 UTC
I stopped using messenger as it kept coming on at really inconvenient times, but you're welcome to e-mail me (sarah at sarmonster. NET), I'm usually online from Noon to one AM. I'll reply with my phone number too.
The breakup totally floored me after he'd been wanting to see you again so bad.
My other guess is that he lied because he was afraid you'd be mad or yell at him otherwise, either that or he wasn't paying attention to finances, anyway. Unfortunately this falls into the 'dumb guy' stereotype. My Dad is guilty of similar crimes in not telling Mom where money was going. It was the straw that broke the camel's back in a 21-year marriage(which should have broken up LONG before that, IMHO).
I've never been emotionally involved with him, though as far as I know he's never lied to me, nor has he been known for it. His exes will probably have aswers for you that make a little more sense, and possibly contradict what I'm saying.
He DID seemingly break up his first marriage just because some girl found him attractive, and he was convinced they were 'soul mates'. I think everyone thought he was being ridiculous, perhaps starstruck by someone expressing attraction to him, and TOTALLY taking for granted what he had in Miriam. This was the first time he'd struck me as someone who 'traded up', or just ran after the next shiny that came along. When I first met him he was in a relationship that I think lasted about 5 years. SHE was someone I was surprised he stuck with, they seemed akwardly compatable at best.
In short, he's doesn't strike me as someone who's great at thinking ahead.
I was wondering, you guys obviously didn't break up over just a lousy $500. I hope everything works out, especially for Jasper.
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It was the lieing about not paying bills and not working full time that was the "staw that broke the camel's back". There were other issues, from him lieing about (and) cheating on me around the time he got me pregnant. (He has recently admited to it, though I always knew he was lieing to me about it), to one of the biggest issues for me, how I so very often felt taken for granted,(Sound familiar?), and just plain irresponsible inactions. He is more of a teenager than a 30something adult. Then there are other very personal issues that I will not devulge on LJ.
Do you have a messenger? I would really like to chat with you more. I really appreciate your blunt and candid demeanor, I'm the same way.
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