(no subject)
So I almost got the quilt done, but I ran into some trouble with the borders. So I'm going to take it in with me to work on Wednesday and get some advice.
I did get a lot of cleaning done today, including two boxes from the garage. Still, Mom and Dad were not happy that the rest of the boxes remain. Goodwill, however, should be happy because they are about to receive large quantities of stuff from me. Hooray for pack rats getting rid of stuff!
I don't want to sound wierd, bad, or disturbed, or any other negative adjective for that matter, but I've decided to trade out one of Ernie's bandanas with a new one for the quilts I'm making his mom and sisters. I just want to keep one, it reminds me of him and smells like him. It means a lot to be able to smell a person again. I've been wearing his clothes and listening to some sad songs most of the evening. It's amazing how much you can still miss someone, even after all this time. It still isn't real. It still hasn't sunk in. It still...I don't know. I just don't feel like I'm getting any better sometimes. I want to keep all his clothes so that I won't ever forget, but I couldn't do that. I have to have three quilts made out of something, don't I?! Anyway, I'm going to go work on planning and school work and hope that some cherry things come my way this week. It's not that I feel sad all the time, I'm just never genuinely happy. But hopefully, slowly but surely, I'll get back there one day.
Here's one of the songs I've listened to tonight (called Simple Together by Alanis Morissette):
you've been my golden best friend
now with post-demise at hand
can't go to you for consolation
cause we're off limits during this transition
this grief overwhelms me
it burns in my stomach
and I can't stop bumping into things
I thought we'd be simple together
I thought we'd be happy together
thought we'd be limitless together
I thought we'd be precious together
but I was sadly mistaken
you've been my soulmate and mentor
I remembered you the moment I met you
with you I knew god's face was handsome
with you I suffered an expansion
this loss is numbing me
it pierces my chest
and I can't stop dropping everything
I thought we'd be sexy together
thought we'd be evolving together
I thought we'd have children together
I thought we'd be family together
but I was sadly mistaken
if I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared
if I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented
if I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
my wealth would render this no less severe
I thought we'd be genius together
I thought we'd be healing together
I thought we'd be growing together
thought we'd be adventurous together
but I was sadly mistaken
thought we'd be exploring together
thought we'd be inspired together
I thought we'd be flying together
thought we'd be on fire together
but I was sadly mistaken
I did get a lot of cleaning done today, including two boxes from the garage. Still, Mom and Dad were not happy that the rest of the boxes remain. Goodwill, however, should be happy because they are about to receive large quantities of stuff from me. Hooray for pack rats getting rid of stuff!
I don't want to sound wierd, bad, or disturbed, or any other negative adjective for that matter, but I've decided to trade out one of Ernie's bandanas with a new one for the quilts I'm making his mom and sisters. I just want to keep one, it reminds me of him and smells like him. It means a lot to be able to smell a person again. I've been wearing his clothes and listening to some sad songs most of the evening. It's amazing how much you can still miss someone, even after all this time. It still isn't real. It still hasn't sunk in. It still...I don't know. I just don't feel like I'm getting any better sometimes. I want to keep all his clothes so that I won't ever forget, but I couldn't do that. I have to have three quilts made out of something, don't I?! Anyway, I'm going to go work on planning and school work and hope that some cherry things come my way this week. It's not that I feel sad all the time, I'm just never genuinely happy. But hopefully, slowly but surely, I'll get back there one day.
Here's one of the songs I've listened to tonight (called Simple Together by Alanis Morissette):
you've been my golden best friend
now with post-demise at hand
can't go to you for consolation
cause we're off limits during this transition
this grief overwhelms me
it burns in my stomach
and I can't stop bumping into things
I thought we'd be simple together
I thought we'd be happy together
thought we'd be limitless together
I thought we'd be precious together
but I was sadly mistaken
you've been my soulmate and mentor
I remembered you the moment I met you
with you I knew god's face was handsome
with you I suffered an expansion
this loss is numbing me
it pierces my chest
and I can't stop dropping everything
I thought we'd be sexy together
thought we'd be evolving together
I thought we'd have children together
I thought we'd be family together
but I was sadly mistaken
if I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared
if I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented
if I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
my wealth would render this no less severe
I thought we'd be genius together
I thought we'd be healing together
I thought we'd be growing together
thought we'd be adventurous together
but I was sadly mistaken
thought we'd be exploring together
thought we'd be inspired together
I thought we'd be flying together
thought we'd be on fire together
but I was sadly mistaken