visiting the past
I'm visiting my past today. Yes, I know, you can never go back. And here I am, in the town I lived in and sort of grew up in, from ages 7 thru 18. It's not the same place, and I knew it wouldn't be. Then again, it wasn't much of a place back then.
So where do I go to sit and muse over my life and document my history? Caribou Coffee. Of course, there was no Caribou Coffee in Libertyville when I lived here. Somehow, however, it seems appropriate too. After all, Libertyville is a part of the massive continuous suburban growth that overtakes Chicago's north and western periphery. And Caribou Coffee is a huge chain. See the connection? Or do you have to be from here? Or do you just have to be me, or at least occupy and think with my brain for a little while?
My past is here: little bits of it peek at me from behind parked cars and around corners when I'm driving by. I just barely catch it with my peripheral vision, and it is indeed here. Driving by the Catholic school where I spent the hellish years of 3rd and 4th grade under the thumb of evil nuns and even evil-er lay teachers, I had the eeriest and most uncanny sense of deja vu. I can feel that I have been here recently: and even tho I hadn't committed any of the details of this place to my conscious memory when I was a miserable and shy kid here (or more accurately, tried to blot them out), I distinctly remember seeing some of the old details that still remain, as I am seeing them now. I saw them in my dreams. I suddenly realized that I drove around here in my dreams, and I remember wanting to turn left and then discovering that it's a one way road in my dreams too, just like I'm doing and discovering right now.
I continued to drive down the main street through the town. Henry Yee's is still here. Jeff Harger is mayor: Jeff Harger who used to hang out with Debbie Dennett, and call me Mary Mary Dingleberry (which was eventually shortened to just ding). Jeff Harger used to tease Sue Dennett, my neighbor and best friend in grade school, and me for holding hands. My very first introduction to the concept of homophobia.
I turned into the parking lot for Caribou Coffee because 1) I really needed a cup of coffee; and 2) there was a sign in the window that said "free wi-fi". I planned to sit down and document my little visit to history, and then after getting my skim double mocha light on the chocolate, I checked my e-mail (of course), checked Facebook (it's an addiction: sometimes it actually worries me), read the news (I heart my president!!), and then settled down to log on to the journal. I didn't really need wi-fi: I could have just found a spot with a cup of coffee, opened up Word, and wrote my heart out. I've got plenty to say. There's that addiction though, and you got to feed it.
Well I'm going to go visit some ghosts and get back on here later. After checking my e-mail again.........
So where do I go to sit and muse over my life and document my history? Caribou Coffee. Of course, there was no Caribou Coffee in Libertyville when I lived here. Somehow, however, it seems appropriate too. After all, Libertyville is a part of the massive continuous suburban growth that overtakes Chicago's north and western periphery. And Caribou Coffee is a huge chain. See the connection? Or do you have to be from here? Or do you just have to be me, or at least occupy and think with my brain for a little while?
My past is here: little bits of it peek at me from behind parked cars and around corners when I'm driving by. I just barely catch it with my peripheral vision, and it is indeed here. Driving by the Catholic school where I spent the hellish years of 3rd and 4th grade under the thumb of evil nuns and even evil-er lay teachers, I had the eeriest and most uncanny sense of deja vu. I can feel that I have been here recently: and even tho I hadn't committed any of the details of this place to my conscious memory when I was a miserable and shy kid here (or more accurately, tried to blot them out), I distinctly remember seeing some of the old details that still remain, as I am seeing them now. I saw them in my dreams. I suddenly realized that I drove around here in my dreams, and I remember wanting to turn left and then discovering that it's a one way road in my dreams too, just like I'm doing and discovering right now.
I continued to drive down the main street through the town. Henry Yee's is still here. Jeff Harger is mayor: Jeff Harger who used to hang out with Debbie Dennett, and call me Mary Mary Dingleberry (which was eventually shortened to just ding). Jeff Harger used to tease Sue Dennett, my neighbor and best friend in grade school, and me for holding hands. My very first introduction to the concept of homophobia.
I turned into the parking lot for Caribou Coffee because 1) I really needed a cup of coffee; and 2) there was a sign in the window that said "free wi-fi". I planned to sit down and document my little visit to history, and then after getting my skim double mocha light on the chocolate, I checked my e-mail (of course), checked Facebook (it's an addiction: sometimes it actually worries me), read the news (I heart my president!!), and then settled down to log on to the journal. I didn't really need wi-fi: I could have just found a spot with a cup of coffee, opened up Word, and wrote my heart out. I've got plenty to say. There's that addiction though, and you got to feed it.
Well I'm going to go visit some ghosts and get back on here later. After checking my e-mail again.........