???
Why does life have to be so confusing...I remember a long time ago thinking that life was so hard and sucked when you werent invited to go out with friends in hs or you didnt get your way...but goodness..i had no idea what sucking really meant...the whole week i was in houston with my dad after his surgery...all i could think about was how i wish it was me and not him...seeing him in that much pain was quite possibly the worst expereince of my life...seeing the one person who has done everything he possibly could to make sure you are happy..well taken care of...and not to mention your best friend...grimacing in extreme pain...its indescribable...hes out of the hospital now...has to stay in houston til at least the 18th though...
new subject
::sigh:: how can you miss someone so much who was never really there...how is it that one person can make you feel like everything is going to be ok eventhough they never really did one specific thing to accomplish it...why do i always seem to choose male friends who are extremely selfish...all i want from time to time is a little acknowledgement that i am alive...even when sometimes it doenst feel like i am...so often it feels like im going through the motions..and living someone elses life...i miss him..i do...but theres only so much one person should be expected to take..and after 3.5 years...ive had my share...things will be ok im sure..they always are...i just wish he wasnt such a moron and could say/do something to tell me he does care and i am alive...
work...
they hired someone...im still not sure how i feel about her...we shall see i suppose...things will be fine i guess...started paying loans back this month...no fun..but at least its getting started already...and in 10 years ill be debt free!! wahooo
Mary
new subject
::sigh:: how can you miss someone so much who was never really there...how is it that one person can make you feel like everything is going to be ok eventhough they never really did one specific thing to accomplish it...why do i always seem to choose male friends who are extremely selfish...all i want from time to time is a little acknowledgement that i am alive...even when sometimes it doenst feel like i am...so often it feels like im going through the motions..and living someone elses life...i miss him..i do...but theres only so much one person should be expected to take..and after 3.5 years...ive had my share...things will be ok im sure..they always are...i just wish he wasnt such a moron and could say/do something to tell me he does care and i am alive...
work...
they hired someone...im still not sure how i feel about her...we shall see i suppose...things will be fine i guess...started paying loans back this month...no fun..but at least its getting started already...and in 10 years ill be debt free!! wahooo
Mary