I guess it's that time again....
Well, it's been a long time since I was lasst on this account so I think it's time for a major update.
Around the end of April I moved to Texas to live with my bf, James. Some of my previous updates state a little of what was going on while I was down there. It was hard....moving away from family and friends, finding jobs, dealing with James's family.....all stress. Things started off well enough. James was working, I was working, and when we were together we had fun. We would go find things to do like swimming, watching movies or we would hang out at home or with his family......just about anything. That didn't last long.
In the last couple months I was down there, not too long after James found out he wasn't going to get the ATC job in Alabama, I could feel him pulling away from me. Things started to change slowly......and I just figured we would eventually be able to fix things, but nothing worked. His mother hated my guts to put it simply, which didn't make things between us any better. I started seeing less of him since he was always working and always taking on more and more hours. At one point in time he was working every day but the 12 hours he HAD to take off due to work regulations. He was gone 60 hours then would come home and sleep and then go right back to work.
Eventually, James tok up a second job. This came about because his boss for the EMT job wasn't going to allow him to work as much as he'd been working. James went back to his regular day on, two day off schedule as an EMT. On his days off he was working his second job as a technician in the ER. That's when things got real bad. I barely saw him and when I did he would be sleeping. He was stressing out and so was I. Lucky for me I had made some friends and could go to them to talk, because talking to James was near to impossible. James and I were having fights but I thought there was a chance we could still work things out.
There was no chance. James came home one morning from working in the ER, looked at me and asked what I thought about taking a break. We got into a heavy discussion over it and that was the end. I packed up what I had and worked on ways to get myself and my belongings home. We kept talking.....over what was going on, what we were thinking. He told me he still loved me but he couldn't deal with all the stress. He needed time and then we'd look into getting back in the relationship. He wanted me to go home and be with my family.....said he wanted to keep in contact.
It's been more than a month since I came home. A cousin of one of the girls I went to high school with and her friend brought me home. I left labor day weekend and since then I haven't heard a word from James.
It's been really hard. Most of my good friends are still in school and going to schools out of state. I got in touch with the people I could to let them know I was home. I went back up to Valpo to see people but I didn't get to see everyone and am missing people terribly. I had to call James to get some things taken care of which made my week that much worse off.....and honestly I really didn't want to talk to him.
I realize that I am better off now, but I still can't help what I feel.
Around the end of April I moved to Texas to live with my bf, James. Some of my previous updates state a little of what was going on while I was down there. It was hard....moving away from family and friends, finding jobs, dealing with James's family.....all stress. Things started off well enough. James was working, I was working, and when we were together we had fun. We would go find things to do like swimming, watching movies or we would hang out at home or with his family......just about anything. That didn't last long.
In the last couple months I was down there, not too long after James found out he wasn't going to get the ATC job in Alabama, I could feel him pulling away from me. Things started to change slowly......and I just figured we would eventually be able to fix things, but nothing worked. His mother hated my guts to put it simply, which didn't make things between us any better. I started seeing less of him since he was always working and always taking on more and more hours. At one point in time he was working every day but the 12 hours he HAD to take off due to work regulations. He was gone 60 hours then would come home and sleep and then go right back to work.
Eventually, James tok up a second job. This came about because his boss for the EMT job wasn't going to allow him to work as much as he'd been working. James went back to his regular day on, two day off schedule as an EMT. On his days off he was working his second job as a technician in the ER. That's when things got real bad. I barely saw him and when I did he would be sleeping. He was stressing out and so was I. Lucky for me I had made some friends and could go to them to talk, because talking to James was near to impossible. James and I were having fights but I thought there was a chance we could still work things out.
There was no chance. James came home one morning from working in the ER, looked at me and asked what I thought about taking a break. We got into a heavy discussion over it and that was the end. I packed up what I had and worked on ways to get myself and my belongings home. We kept talking.....over what was going on, what we were thinking. He told me he still loved me but he couldn't deal with all the stress. He needed time and then we'd look into getting back in the relationship. He wanted me to go home and be with my family.....said he wanted to keep in contact.
It's been more than a month since I came home. A cousin of one of the girls I went to high school with and her friend brought me home. I left labor day weekend and since then I haven't heard a word from James.
It's been really hard. Most of my good friends are still in school and going to schools out of state. I got in touch with the people I could to let them know I was home. I went back up to Valpo to see people but I didn't get to see everyone and am missing people terribly. I had to call James to get some things taken care of which made my week that much worse off.....and honestly I really didn't want to talk to him.
I realize that I am better off now, but I still can't help what I feel.