(no subject)
So... I found out what's up with my dad. I haven't talked to him yet about it, but Mom said something today which explained a lot.
Anyways, so since I pierced my lip Dad hadn't been talking to me unless he absolutely had to. And then he made that comment about how he's afraid I'm getting too into a crowd that's into "violence and darkness and s&m" (I swear those were his words, I shit you not). So I was confused and trying to find out where the hell this came from. I mean seriously, it's just my lip and even though I know my parents don't like it I didn't think Dad would stop talking to me over it.
So I had narrowed it down to the fact that Dad had been on my computer recently. I figured he'd gone through my stuff, whether because I'd left stuff open or because my parents have a bad habit of going through my shit on my computer (they used to read my conversations online with my boyfriend when I was still in high school... yeah, sometimes they don't get the privacy thing. At all) but I still wasn't sure where the s&m thing came from. For a while I thought it was that they'd read some of my severely kinky fan fiction, but today Mom said the magic word.
"He said he found pictures of people hanging from hooks."
Bam. There you go, the answer is one of two things. Either he found pictures from the Hellraiser movies I was using for references for my sceneobite or he found pictures I'd saved from punk/fetish circuses for the punk rock circus RP (Circus Strages on greatestjournal) that T and I had been running. I think this is the one he was concerned about. For the banner I was looking for freaky circus imagery and so the fetish circus pictures worked well, like the goth looking fire eaters, freaky clowns, and.... suspension. As in the practice of hanging yourself from hooks (that's right, through your skin) which is supposed to be a really spiritual sort of experience related to ancient tribal practices.
So Dad saw fetish circus plus suspension plus my recent lip ring... and thought I wanted to hang myself from hooks for a sexual thrill. Bingo.
All that's left is for me to explain to him what he saw. I can't help but remember the time when I was 8 when Dad had brought home a new color computer (GASP!) from work and while I was playing on it I stumbled on some graphic girl-on-dog porn that had belonged to the computer's previous owner and ran crying to Mom over it. Mom had to explain some things to me then, and now it's my turn to explain some things to Dad.
Though you know, what if I was into suspension? Not that it's usually a sexual sort of thing (at least not entirely the way I understand - I don't know, it squicks me out too much personally to ever consider trying it) but still... Does this mean that Dad wouldn't except me? If I told them about the kinks I find attractive and entertain at least in my imagination, would he do this not talking to me thing? Would he disown me? It's an unsettling thought... I mean I'm getting out of this being an issue for now, but shouldn't he like... accept me and love me no matter who I am or what I'm into? Or at least try? Not try to ignore me....
I guess in the end this is a bittersweet solution. Like an episode of Lost, it answers one question but raises many others. On the plus side, here's some art!
Title: Sceneobite - colored!
Artist: Moi. Gayle.
Fandom: Hellraiser meets Scene
Rating: PG-13 for graphic imagery I guess
Author's Note: T gets credit for helping me come up with this idea. Oh scene, you're so much fun to mock. You're like the new mall goths.
After the whole suspension incident, I doubt finding this on my computer would have helped matters for Dad any in thinking I was messed up in the head. He wouldn't have gotten it.
Although it's not as quite as funny as the idea of Dad finding screencaps from Hellraiser movies on my computer and thinking that it meant that I was into that sort of extreme sexual masochism stuff. Because come on, Dad. It's fucking Pinhead. He's hot and all, but I'm not jonesing to get myself the Angelique look here. I like my skin the way it is... okay, maybe a few more piercings later on, but not hooks and no skin peely stuff. Srsly. Ya rly.
Anyways, so since I pierced my lip Dad hadn't been talking to me unless he absolutely had to. And then he made that comment about how he's afraid I'm getting too into a crowd that's into "violence and darkness and s&m" (I swear those were his words, I shit you not). So I was confused and trying to find out where the hell this came from. I mean seriously, it's just my lip and even though I know my parents don't like it I didn't think Dad would stop talking to me over it.
So I had narrowed it down to the fact that Dad had been on my computer recently. I figured he'd gone through my stuff, whether because I'd left stuff open or because my parents have a bad habit of going through my shit on my computer (they used to read my conversations online with my boyfriend when I was still in high school... yeah, sometimes they don't get the privacy thing. At all) but I still wasn't sure where the s&m thing came from. For a while I thought it was that they'd read some of my severely kinky fan fiction, but today Mom said the magic word.
"He said he found pictures of people hanging from hooks."
Bam. There you go, the answer is one of two things. Either he found pictures from the Hellraiser movies I was using for references for my sceneobite or he found pictures I'd saved from punk/fetish circuses for the punk rock circus RP (Circus Strages on greatestjournal) that T and I had been running. I think this is the one he was concerned about. For the banner I was looking for freaky circus imagery and so the fetish circus pictures worked well, like the goth looking fire eaters, freaky clowns, and.... suspension. As in the practice of hanging yourself from hooks (that's right, through your skin) which is supposed to be a really spiritual sort of experience related to ancient tribal practices.
So Dad saw fetish circus plus suspension plus my recent lip ring... and thought I wanted to hang myself from hooks for a sexual thrill. Bingo.
All that's left is for me to explain to him what he saw. I can't help but remember the time when I was 8 when Dad had brought home a new color computer (GASP!) from work and while I was playing on it I stumbled on some graphic girl-on-dog porn that had belonged to the computer's previous owner and ran crying to Mom over it. Mom had to explain some things to me then, and now it's my turn to explain some things to Dad.
Though you know, what if I was into suspension? Not that it's usually a sexual sort of thing (at least not entirely the way I understand - I don't know, it squicks me out too much personally to ever consider trying it) but still... Does this mean that Dad wouldn't except me? If I told them about the kinks I find attractive and entertain at least in my imagination, would he do this not talking to me thing? Would he disown me? It's an unsettling thought... I mean I'm getting out of this being an issue for now, but shouldn't he like... accept me and love me no matter who I am or what I'm into? Or at least try? Not try to ignore me....
I guess in the end this is a bittersweet solution. Like an episode of Lost, it answers one question but raises many others. On the plus side, here's some art!
Title: Sceneobite - colored!
Artist: Moi. Gayle.
Fandom: Hellraiser meets Scene
Rating: PG-13 for graphic imagery I guess
Author's Note: T gets credit for helping me come up with this idea. Oh scene, you're so much fun to mock. You're like the new mall goths.
After the whole suspension incident, I doubt finding this on my computer would have helped matters for Dad any in thinking I was messed up in the head. He wouldn't have gotten it.
Although it's not as quite as funny as the idea of Dad finding screencaps from Hellraiser movies on my computer and thinking that it meant that I was into that sort of extreme sexual masochism stuff. Because come on, Dad. It's fucking Pinhead. He's hot and all, but I'm not jonesing to get myself the Angelique look here. I like my skin the way it is... okay, maybe a few more piercings later on, but not hooks and no skin peely stuff. Srsly. Ya rly.