When in Doubt: Special Features!
Title: When in Doubt... Use the Bathroom!
Author: x_the_gpp_x (although you can completely blame Thing 2 for this one... lol)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: During the crazy collaboration many bunnies reared their furry little heads. We couldn't use them all, so rather than shutting them in a box where they would inevitably plot our demise and achieve world domination, we wrote them down. And because we can, we're sharing them with you.
WARNING: Some of these bunnies are evl and may try to eat your soul.
“I’ve always wanted to join the mile high club.”
“Your wish is my command.”
“I’ll go first, follow me in ten seconds.”
“I’ll try to wait that long.”
She giggled. “Naughty man!”
He smirked and pinched her ass as she shimmied pat his seat.
The airplane bathroom was smaller than she remembered and she took the few seconds of alone time to run a wet one over her body. Ladies did not sweat. Even in 90 degree weather. If they did, they used wet ones. The first rule she’d learned from her mother, the second she’d made up on her own. A woman had to be able to improvise.
“Knock knock.” The bathroom door cracked open. “Are you decent?”
“Never.”
“That’s my little minx.”
His lips pressed against hers, swallowing her giggles even as his hands made short work of his fly. She’d already stashed her panties in her purse and after a brief nod to foreplay, his hands on her breasts, her hands on his penis showing it where to go, he was inside her. She was a tight little ride, always ready and eager. Quick to climax. And a screamer.
The last bit could pose a problem he realized as she reached the edge of her orgasm and threw her head back to scream in ecstasy. The thought of losing his right to ever fly Southwest Airlines again and the possible consequences of anyone from the service hearing about this caused him to forget that they were in a tiny airplane stall.
He pressed her hard against the door and slammed his mouth against her, stopping her screams with his tongue and he pounded into her. With a final thrust he reached his climax.
It was one thrust too many.
The door they had been leaning against was not designed to withstand any sort of force. In fact, airplane bathrooms had been specifically designed to give way to force so flight attendants could get in if needed to assist passengers. The force of two bodies fucking against it was too much and on that final thrust it gave out, sending the couple sprawling into the aisle.
“You have got to be kidding me!” The blonde stared incredulously down at the couple, her face contorted in utter disgust. “Mom?”
Jinx Shannon stared up at her eldest daughter over Mike Faber’s shoulder. “Mary… What are you doing here?”
“Marshall and I are fly-“ Mary stopped dead, “you know what.. never mind. Just...” She shuddered.
“Is everything alright?” a flight attendant asked coming up behind Mary’s shoulder. She took in the couple, still lying on the floor. She took in the sight of Faber’s bare ass and a red flush crept up from her collar bone to her hairline.
Faber rolled off Jinx and the two women were treated to an unwelcome look as his penis before he managed to get it stuffed back into his pants. “We were just at a funeral,” he said hastily, “thought this might raise her spirits.”
“Classy.” The flight attendant snarled. “Now get the fuck up and go back to your seats. There are children on this flight!”
Jinx rose to her feet and planted both hands on her bony hips, “is that any way to speak to a paying customer?”
“She paid you?” The flight attendant looked at Faber as she spoke, a look of utter contempt on her face.
Mary stifled a snort of laughter. She still had to pee, but no way was she walking away from this cat-fight in the making.
“Is everything ok back here?” The second flight attendant, a tall man with teeth so white they had to be caps, asked coming to join the small cluster of people by the bathroom.
“This... stewardess is being incredibly rude!” Jinx sputtered indignantly.
“These two were having sex in the bathroom,” the flight attendant answered at the same time.
“Again?” The man’s face contorted with rage, “Don’t you have a home with a bed where you can fuck like normal people?” He asked, waving a finger in front of Faber’s face, “You! Wasn’t it last week I -“
Faber widened his eyes and shook his head frantically.
Mary grinned. This was getting good. Too bad Marshall was sound asleep, he would never believe her.
“I guess not,” the male flight attendant took Faber’s hint, some sort of male solidarity Mary would never understand. “Please return to your seats. We’d appreciate it if you would both stay in them for the remainder of the flight.”
The female stewardess rolled her eyes at her colleague, “I have had it with these motherfuckers having sex on this mother fucking plane!”
“I dunno,” he replied in a flirtatious tone, “I was hoping you’d be the sky candy on this flight. You’re looking especially delicious this evening.”
“I love it when you demean me, Rick.”
A/N: while trying to research whether sex on a plane is actually illegal or just moderately gross and incredibly awkward.. I came across some serious gems on Yahoo! Answers... I thought I’d share:
Question: I have a friend who swears if you get caught having sex on an airplane you can be arrested. I say at worst they will kick you off the plane.
Best Answer: They can’t kick you off the plane - that would be murder.
Question: Why is it illegal to have sex in and airplane bathroom?
Runner up Answer: There is no legal rule against having sex in an airplane bathroom, it’s just crowded when you get three people in the bathroom at one time.
Best Answer: Because they are made for people going, not coming.
Author: x_the_gpp_x (although you can completely blame Thing 2 for this one... lol)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: During the crazy collaboration many bunnies reared their furry little heads. We couldn't use them all, so rather than shutting them in a box where they would inevitably plot our demise and achieve world domination, we wrote them down. And because we can, we're sharing them with you.
WARNING: Some of these bunnies are evl and may try to eat your soul.
“I’ve always wanted to join the mile high club.”
“Your wish is my command.”
“I’ll go first, follow me in ten seconds.”
“I’ll try to wait that long.”
She giggled. “Naughty man!”
He smirked and pinched her ass as she shimmied pat his seat.
The airplane bathroom was smaller than she remembered and she took the few seconds of alone time to run a wet one over her body. Ladies did not sweat. Even in 90 degree weather. If they did, they used wet ones. The first rule she’d learned from her mother, the second she’d made up on her own. A woman had to be able to improvise.
“Knock knock.” The bathroom door cracked open. “Are you decent?”
“Never.”
“That’s my little minx.”
His lips pressed against hers, swallowing her giggles even as his hands made short work of his fly. She’d already stashed her panties in her purse and after a brief nod to foreplay, his hands on her breasts, her hands on his penis showing it where to go, he was inside her. She was a tight little ride, always ready and eager. Quick to climax. And a screamer.
The last bit could pose a problem he realized as she reached the edge of her orgasm and threw her head back to scream in ecstasy. The thought of losing his right to ever fly Southwest Airlines again and the possible consequences of anyone from the service hearing about this caused him to forget that they were in a tiny airplane stall.
He pressed her hard against the door and slammed his mouth against her, stopping her screams with his tongue and he pounded into her. With a final thrust he reached his climax.
It was one thrust too many.
The door they had been leaning against was not designed to withstand any sort of force. In fact, airplane bathrooms had been specifically designed to give way to force so flight attendants could get in if needed to assist passengers. The force of two bodies fucking against it was too much and on that final thrust it gave out, sending the couple sprawling into the aisle.
“You have got to be kidding me!” The blonde stared incredulously down at the couple, her face contorted in utter disgust. “Mom?”
Jinx Shannon stared up at her eldest daughter over Mike Faber’s shoulder. “Mary… What are you doing here?”
“Marshall and I are fly-“ Mary stopped dead, “you know what.. never mind. Just...” She shuddered.
“Is everything alright?” a flight attendant asked coming up behind Mary’s shoulder. She took in the couple, still lying on the floor. She took in the sight of Faber’s bare ass and a red flush crept up from her collar bone to her hairline.
Faber rolled off Jinx and the two women were treated to an unwelcome look as his penis before he managed to get it stuffed back into his pants. “We were just at a funeral,” he said hastily, “thought this might raise her spirits.”
“Classy.” The flight attendant snarled. “Now get the fuck up and go back to your seats. There are children on this flight!”
Jinx rose to her feet and planted both hands on her bony hips, “is that any way to speak to a paying customer?”
“She paid you?” The flight attendant looked at Faber as she spoke, a look of utter contempt on her face.
Mary stifled a snort of laughter. She still had to pee, but no way was she walking away from this cat-fight in the making.
“Is everything ok back here?” The second flight attendant, a tall man with teeth so white they had to be caps, asked coming to join the small cluster of people by the bathroom.
“This... stewardess is being incredibly rude!” Jinx sputtered indignantly.
“These two were having sex in the bathroom,” the flight attendant answered at the same time.
“Again?” The man’s face contorted with rage, “Don’t you have a home with a bed where you can fuck like normal people?” He asked, waving a finger in front of Faber’s face, “You! Wasn’t it last week I -“
Faber widened his eyes and shook his head frantically.
Mary grinned. This was getting good. Too bad Marshall was sound asleep, he would never believe her.
“I guess not,” the male flight attendant took Faber’s hint, some sort of male solidarity Mary would never understand. “Please return to your seats. We’d appreciate it if you would both stay in them for the remainder of the flight.”
The female stewardess rolled her eyes at her colleague, “I have had it with these motherfuckers having sex on this mother fucking plane!”
“I dunno,” he replied in a flirtatious tone, “I was hoping you’d be the sky candy on this flight. You’re looking especially delicious this evening.”
“I love it when you demean me, Rick.”
A/N: while trying to research whether sex on a plane is actually illegal or just moderately gross and incredibly awkward.. I came across some serious gems on Yahoo! Answers... I thought I’d share:
Question: I have a friend who swears if you get caught having sex on an airplane you can be arrested. I say at worst they will kick you off the plane.
Best Answer: They can’t kick you off the plane - that would be murder.
Question: Why is it illegal to have sex in and airplane bathroom?
Runner up Answer: There is no legal rule against having sex in an airplane bathroom, it’s just crowded when you get three people in the bathroom at one time.
Best Answer: Because they are made for people going, not coming.