When in Doubt: Epilogue!!!
Title: When in Doubt
Author: x_the_gpp_x
Rating: NC-17
Author Notes: Well, we've reached the end of the journey. We know what you're thinking; "I thought the last entry was the final chapter?" Well SURPRISE! We have an Epilogue!!! Enjoy and thank you for sticking with us for all 16 parts!!! We're glad you enjoyed it!!!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
4:36 am
Mary rolled out of bed silently so as not to disturb Marshall. A quick glance at his side of the bed proved she was successful. The lump that was her Marshall had not moved. Moving throughout the room, she quickly gathered up her sneakers, jacket and a flashlight as well as a pair of jeans. She wouldn’t need her gun; not for this.
These items in hand, she tiptoed to her living room where she changed into the jeans and put on the jacket. Mary crept up to the door, unlocked it and stepped out into the crisp early morning air. Only then, did she put her sneakers on. She waited a block before finally turning on her flashlight. Her chest swelled with pride when she realized that she’d managed to sneak out without disturbing Marshall.
Then came the guilt. She’d promised to keep him involved in everything; to not shut him out. Mary attempted to shrug off the guilt, I’m just visiting. I’ll tell him about it when I get home, she told herself.
It was a short walk to the cemetery. Mary hugged her arms to her chest as she approached the gate. Turning off her flashlight, she made her way through the rows of headstones; she had this route memorized by now.
She felt the familiar bumps in the earth as she neared James’ headstone. Turning the flashlight on once more, she did a mental threat assessment before sitting on the ground against the stone. The early morning sky was clear and dotted with millions of stars. Mary took a deep, shaky breath as she leaned back to gaze at the sky.
“Remember when we did this, Daddy?” she spoke to herself and the heavens, “Every year, we would go out after everyone was asleep. You’d wake me up really late and we would sneak out with a thermos of hot chocolate. I would sleep in the truck as you brought us to the highest and darkest point you could find. We’d lie on the blankets and share the cocoa as meteors shot across the sky,” Mary’s voice cracked as one streaked across her vision at that moment, “You sent that one, didn’t you Daddy?”
The tears began to flow more freely and Mary sat up to hug her knees to her chest. Her body shook as it was racked with sobs. She sat there crying and lost track of time.
She didn’t hear Marshall behind her until he was sitting beside her.
“Jesus, Marshall!” she clutched her chest and attempted to regain a normal breathing pattern, “I could have shot you! You know better than to sneak up on me; especially in a cemetery at night!”
“You left your gun at home,” Marshall put an arm around her shoulders.
“Well, still, you know better than to sneak up on me like that,” she crossed her arms in front of her chest but leaned into him nonetheless.
Marshall kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek on her hair.
“How did you know I was here?” she whispered, “I thought I was exceptionally ninja in my escape,” she kept her gaze on the stars above as she felt him nuzzle the top of her head.
“I’ve been here for a couple of hours already,” he said, “I still doubt your ninja abilities; however, I was here before you were.”
Mary whirled around to face him with a look of surprise, “But I saw you in bed as I left!”
“Ferris Beuller may have had more of an effect on my life than I thought…” he kissed her on the nose before shifting so he leaned on the stone and she was in his lap. Mary considered herself beat as she settled herself against him to watch the sky once more.
They sat there until the sun came up; splashes of pink, orange, and yellow flowed across the sky; there really was nothing like the beauty of a New Mexican sunrise. Marshall wrapped his strong arms around her and hugged her from behind. Pulling her hair away from her neck, he placed gentle, loving kisses along it.
“Care to get some breakfast?” he murmured against her neck. He felt her nod and took that as his cue to stand. He offered her his hand and cringed when he heard her joints crack as she stood. He held her close to her side as they made their way out of the cemetery and into the closest diner.
“What’s going on, Mare?” Marshall took a sip of his coffee and stared intently at the woman across from him.
Mary remained silent as she stared at her half-eaten pancakes. Marshall reached over with a single finger and dipped it in the Nutella that replaced her usual syrup. She’d gone for the comfort food.
“Mary, talk to me,” he reached across the table once again; this time to grab her hand, “I know what today is.”
Mary laced her fingers with his and forced herself to meet his eyes. Marshall’s gaze held nothing but love and offered nothing but comfort. She squeezed his hand and offered him a small smile.
“Today is another day,” her smile met her eyes, “and I am luckier today than I was yesterday.”
Marshall lifted their linked hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles before turning back to his breakfast. Her answer satisfied him for the time being; he knew she’d open up when she wanted to.
Likewise, Mary finished off her Nutella pancakes with gusto. She didn’t even question why this diner had Nutella, of all things.
They took their time getting home; simply content to wander about the city and enjoy the cool Sunday morning. It was lunch time when they finally made it back to the house. Mary breezed into the house and immediately went to inspect the mess of pillows she’d believed was Marshall.
“I can’t believe I fell for this!” she picked up two of them and stalked towards Marshall. She found him in the living room with a large envelope in his hands. He looked up at her as she entered the room.
Mary recognized his protective expression as she made her way to his side of the room.
“What’cha got there, Doofus?” she peeked over the lip of the cardboard envelope and immediately noticed the official FBI seal. Her body tensed as she remembered the last time one of these had been in her house.
With shaking hands, she took the envelope from Marshall and sat down on the couch to open it. Marshall sat beside her as she pulled out a smaller envelope. This one was singed on the edges and looked as if it had been opened many times before now. The address was written in James’ handwriting and Mary ran her fingertips over it.
Marshall leaned in to press a kiss to her temple before whispering into her ear, “Do you want to be alone?”
Mary didn’t know if she wanted him to go or stay. She shifted on the couch so she was resting on the opposite armrest. Marshall took this hint and leaned against the other one as he watched her eyes dance across the letter she’d unfolded from the envelope.
Mary sucked in a silent breath as the words became visible on the paper. Tears had already begun to prick the corners of her eyes and she willed them back until she was done reading.
Dearest Mary,
I don’t have much time left. Feelings of paranoia have set in; they’re watching me and I know they’re plotting. Ideally, I’ll have moved away before they can get to me but we both know that isn’t likely to happen. I wanted to write you one last letter before I go.
Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I thought long and hard about taking you and your sister with me; I really did but your lives would have been in danger and I couldn’t live with myself if I had lost you for good. It was selfish of me, I know, but I couldn’t bring you with me; I was ashamed of all that I had done.
So, when I was offered the chance to turn my life around, I grabbed it. You may have heard some horrible things about me from your mother, (and, rest assured, most of them are true), but never doubt my love for you and your sister.
I’ve seen you, you know. I’ve seen you during various points in your life. I had to make sure you were okay. I was at each of your graduations, and I visited you when you were shot. I’ve saw you with that Hispanic baseball player and I see you now with that taller man. I see how he brings out your inner light. Hold onto that light and keep on shining.
Be happy, my angel. Don’t let my mistakes interfere with your true happiness. The taller man makes your eyes shine in a way I’d never seen. Learn to let him completely and unabashedly into your heart and soul. Let me go; you only need one man in your life.
A million kisses, the sun, and the moon.
Love,
Daddy
Her tears flowed like rivers down her cheeks and she held the letter at a distance so she wouldn’t ruin the paper any more than it had been. This was the letter he was mailing right before the explosion; right before he had locked eyes with her. She’d only seen him put one letter into the mailbox so she assumed he hadn’t sent one to Lauren or any of the Griffins.
Just her.
Marshall watched her as she sobbed; willing himself to not be at her side as was his reflex. She should come to him this time. He felt it was safe to assume that it was a letter from her father; he briefly remembered seeing him mail one the day he died. The FBI must have sent this to her now that their investigation on him was finished.
Mary read and re-read the letter in an attempt to memorize it. Her tears subsided after the fourth time through and she snuggled closer to Marshall. Her eyes drifted over what her father had written about Marshall and she smiled. She laid her head in his lap and grasped one of his hands in hers and tilted the letter so he could read it.
“Marshall,” she whispered from his lap.
“Yeah, Mare?” he looked away from the letter and into her eyes.
“Marry me?”
Author: x_the_gpp_x
Rating: NC-17
Author Notes: Well, we've reached the end of the journey. We know what you're thinking; "I thought the last entry was the final chapter?" Well SURPRISE! We have an Epilogue!!! Enjoy and thank you for sticking with us for all 16 parts!!! We're glad you enjoyed it!!!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
4:36 am
Mary rolled out of bed silently so as not to disturb Marshall. A quick glance at his side of the bed proved she was successful. The lump that was her Marshall had not moved. Moving throughout the room, she quickly gathered up her sneakers, jacket and a flashlight as well as a pair of jeans. She wouldn’t need her gun; not for this.
These items in hand, she tiptoed to her living room where she changed into the jeans and put on the jacket. Mary crept up to the door, unlocked it and stepped out into the crisp early morning air. Only then, did she put her sneakers on. She waited a block before finally turning on her flashlight. Her chest swelled with pride when she realized that she’d managed to sneak out without disturbing Marshall.
Then came the guilt. She’d promised to keep him involved in everything; to not shut him out. Mary attempted to shrug off the guilt, I’m just visiting. I’ll tell him about it when I get home, she told herself.
It was a short walk to the cemetery. Mary hugged her arms to her chest as she approached the gate. Turning off her flashlight, she made her way through the rows of headstones; she had this route memorized by now.
She felt the familiar bumps in the earth as she neared James’ headstone. Turning the flashlight on once more, she did a mental threat assessment before sitting on the ground against the stone. The early morning sky was clear and dotted with millions of stars. Mary took a deep, shaky breath as she leaned back to gaze at the sky.
“Remember when we did this, Daddy?” she spoke to herself and the heavens, “Every year, we would go out after everyone was asleep. You’d wake me up really late and we would sneak out with a thermos of hot chocolate. I would sleep in the truck as you brought us to the highest and darkest point you could find. We’d lie on the blankets and share the cocoa as meteors shot across the sky,” Mary’s voice cracked as one streaked across her vision at that moment, “You sent that one, didn’t you Daddy?”
The tears began to flow more freely and Mary sat up to hug her knees to her chest. Her body shook as it was racked with sobs. She sat there crying and lost track of time.
She didn’t hear Marshall behind her until he was sitting beside her.
“Jesus, Marshall!” she clutched her chest and attempted to regain a normal breathing pattern, “I could have shot you! You know better than to sneak up on me; especially in a cemetery at night!”
“You left your gun at home,” Marshall put an arm around her shoulders.
“Well, still, you know better than to sneak up on me like that,” she crossed her arms in front of her chest but leaned into him nonetheless.
Marshall kissed the top of her head before resting his cheek on her hair.
“How did you know I was here?” she whispered, “I thought I was exceptionally ninja in my escape,” she kept her gaze on the stars above as she felt him nuzzle the top of her head.
“I’ve been here for a couple of hours already,” he said, “I still doubt your ninja abilities; however, I was here before you were.”
Mary whirled around to face him with a look of surprise, “But I saw you in bed as I left!”
“Ferris Beuller may have had more of an effect on my life than I thought…” he kissed her on the nose before shifting so he leaned on the stone and she was in his lap. Mary considered herself beat as she settled herself against him to watch the sky once more.
They sat there until the sun came up; splashes of pink, orange, and yellow flowed across the sky; there really was nothing like the beauty of a New Mexican sunrise. Marshall wrapped his strong arms around her and hugged her from behind. Pulling her hair away from her neck, he placed gentle, loving kisses along it.
“Care to get some breakfast?” he murmured against her neck. He felt her nod and took that as his cue to stand. He offered her his hand and cringed when he heard her joints crack as she stood. He held her close to her side as they made their way out of the cemetery and into the closest diner.
“What’s going on, Mare?” Marshall took a sip of his coffee and stared intently at the woman across from him.
Mary remained silent as she stared at her half-eaten pancakes. Marshall reached over with a single finger and dipped it in the Nutella that replaced her usual syrup. She’d gone for the comfort food.
“Mary, talk to me,” he reached across the table once again; this time to grab her hand, “I know what today is.”
Mary laced her fingers with his and forced herself to meet his eyes. Marshall’s gaze held nothing but love and offered nothing but comfort. She squeezed his hand and offered him a small smile.
“Today is another day,” her smile met her eyes, “and I am luckier today than I was yesterday.”
Marshall lifted their linked hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles before turning back to his breakfast. Her answer satisfied him for the time being; he knew she’d open up when she wanted to.
Likewise, Mary finished off her Nutella pancakes with gusto. She didn’t even question why this diner had Nutella, of all things.
They took their time getting home; simply content to wander about the city and enjoy the cool Sunday morning. It was lunch time when they finally made it back to the house. Mary breezed into the house and immediately went to inspect the mess of pillows she’d believed was Marshall.
“I can’t believe I fell for this!” she picked up two of them and stalked towards Marshall. She found him in the living room with a large envelope in his hands. He looked up at her as she entered the room.
Mary recognized his protective expression as she made her way to his side of the room.
“What’cha got there, Doofus?” she peeked over the lip of the cardboard envelope and immediately noticed the official FBI seal. Her body tensed as she remembered the last time one of these had been in her house.
With shaking hands, she took the envelope from Marshall and sat down on the couch to open it. Marshall sat beside her as she pulled out a smaller envelope. This one was singed on the edges and looked as if it had been opened many times before now. The address was written in James’ handwriting and Mary ran her fingertips over it.
Marshall leaned in to press a kiss to her temple before whispering into her ear, “Do you want to be alone?”
Mary didn’t know if she wanted him to go or stay. She shifted on the couch so she was resting on the opposite armrest. Marshall took this hint and leaned against the other one as he watched her eyes dance across the letter she’d unfolded from the envelope.
Mary sucked in a silent breath as the words became visible on the paper. Tears had already begun to prick the corners of her eyes and she willed them back until she was done reading.
Dearest Mary,
I don’t have much time left. Feelings of paranoia have set in; they’re watching me and I know they’re plotting. Ideally, I’ll have moved away before they can get to me but we both know that isn’t likely to happen. I wanted to write you one last letter before I go.
Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I thought long and hard about taking you and your sister with me; I really did but your lives would have been in danger and I couldn’t live with myself if I had lost you for good. It was selfish of me, I know, but I couldn’t bring you with me; I was ashamed of all that I had done.
So, when I was offered the chance to turn my life around, I grabbed it. You may have heard some horrible things about me from your mother, (and, rest assured, most of them are true), but never doubt my love for you and your sister.
I’ve seen you, you know. I’ve seen you during various points in your life. I had to make sure you were okay. I was at each of your graduations, and I visited you when you were shot. I’ve saw you with that Hispanic baseball player and I see you now with that taller man. I see how he brings out your inner light. Hold onto that light and keep on shining.
Be happy, my angel. Don’t let my mistakes interfere with your true happiness. The taller man makes your eyes shine in a way I’d never seen. Learn to let him completely and unabashedly into your heart and soul. Let me go; you only need one man in your life.
A million kisses, the sun, and the moon.
Love,
Daddy
Her tears flowed like rivers down her cheeks and she held the letter at a distance so she wouldn’t ruin the paper any more than it had been. This was the letter he was mailing right before the explosion; right before he had locked eyes with her. She’d only seen him put one letter into the mailbox so she assumed he hadn’t sent one to Lauren or any of the Griffins.
Just her.
Marshall watched her as she sobbed; willing himself to not be at her side as was his reflex. She should come to him this time. He felt it was safe to assume that it was a letter from her father; he briefly remembered seeing him mail one the day he died. The FBI must have sent this to her now that their investigation on him was finished.
Mary read and re-read the letter in an attempt to memorize it. Her tears subsided after the fourth time through and she snuggled closer to Marshall. Her eyes drifted over what her father had written about Marshall and she smiled. She laid her head in his lap and grasped one of his hands in hers and tilted the letter so he could read it.
“Marshall,” she whispered from his lap.
“Yeah, Mare?” he looked away from the letter and into her eyes.
“Marry me?”