Inspiration...
I don't know if it's the coffee, last night's whiskey shots, the empty stomach, or hormones. Something's got me anxious. I feel like an outpour.
I'm a little afraid of what I'm about to say. It's all the truth, and it might hurt.
I've been really emotionally confused off and on for the last few weeks. I REALLY miss Thanh. I don't want to. But I do. I'm not sure what it is I miss about him. Sometimes it's his laugh. Sometimes it's the way I act around him. Sometimes it's his hair, his mannerisms. And I can't tell if it's nostalgia or if I genuinely want things to be the way they used to be. I really have no idea what it is, but I feel like something has me tied to him. And I wonder if the feeling that I can't live without him will ever completely disappear. I fucking LOVE that kid.
I'm about to cry.
I've been talking to Nathan for a couple months now, I guess. He's really great and he makes me really happy. I think he's almost too perfect or something. When we're hanging out together, I'm all about him. But when I'm alone, like now, I think about Thanh. I worry about him. When I wake up in the morning, I think about Thanh. When I go to bed at night, I think about Thanh. Random times throughout the day, I think about Thanh. I love it. I hate it. It's awesome and it sucks. I can't hurt Nate. But if Thanh were to show up at my door, I don't know what I'd do. I never thought I'd be in this kind of postition.
What the fuck??
So here's what you'll say. It's okay. It will all work out. Hang in there. Don't worry about it. Do what makes you happy. But I don't know what will make me happy.
I'll be better by the end of the day, but it will be back I'm sure.
I'm a little afraid of what I'm about to say. It's all the truth, and it might hurt.
I've been really emotionally confused off and on for the last few weeks. I REALLY miss Thanh. I don't want to. But I do. I'm not sure what it is I miss about him. Sometimes it's his laugh. Sometimes it's the way I act around him. Sometimes it's his hair, his mannerisms. And I can't tell if it's nostalgia or if I genuinely want things to be the way they used to be. I really have no idea what it is, but I feel like something has me tied to him. And I wonder if the feeling that I can't live without him will ever completely disappear. I fucking LOVE that kid.
I'm about to cry.
I've been talking to Nathan for a couple months now, I guess. He's really great and he makes me really happy. I think he's almost too perfect or something. When we're hanging out together, I'm all about him. But when I'm alone, like now, I think about Thanh. I worry about him. When I wake up in the morning, I think about Thanh. When I go to bed at night, I think about Thanh. Random times throughout the day, I think about Thanh. I love it. I hate it. It's awesome and it sucks. I can't hurt Nate. But if Thanh were to show up at my door, I don't know what I'd do. I never thought I'd be in this kind of postition.
What the fuck??
So here's what you'll say. It's okay. It will all work out. Hang in there. Don't worry about it. Do what makes you happy. But I don't know what will make me happy.
I'll be better by the end of the day, but it will be back I'm sure.