surviving requires a lot of waiting
On October 28th I turned in some post-mortem paperwork regarding my father. I was told they would respond between 7-10 days. I called the next day to make sure everything had been received and was properly formated.
On that day I was told we'd hear back between Nov. 7-10. Which would have been more than 7-10 days from the original start date, but fine with us-- they seemed very concerned about getting us our stuff back. Which generally is not the case with anything eldercare related ever.
On Nov 11 when we hadn't heard back, I called and was told our paperwork was still under "review."
I reminded the guy that I had been told 7-10 days and that that deadline had already been moved once. I was surprised when he actually got a little upset-- apparently the 7-10 day thing is official. He told me he'd finish the review within 24 hours and get our reply out that day.
We haven't heard back, but it's only been 5 days. I'm going to be patient until the end of the week.
This situation (and others very similar) has made me notice something very weird. I have bad days where I miss my parents like crazy. I really didn't think they would die so soon or right then or anytime really, but the mourning hasn't been the worst part of all this. It's horrible, but I did know they would die someday.
On the other hand I didn't know we'd be put through all this paper shuffling and jumping through hoops for many many months after loosing them.
I remember when my brother died, I was sort of glad there were Things That Needed To Be Done. It gave my parents something to focus on and be distracted by. We found a bit of family togetherness through wrapping up Jimmy's life. I haven't found anything like that this time. Maybe because my parents aren't here.
I just always thought the mourning would be the hardest part and so far it hasn't been.
On that day I was told we'd hear back between Nov. 7-10. Which would have been more than 7-10 days from the original start date, but fine with us-- they seemed very concerned about getting us our stuff back. Which generally is not the case with anything eldercare related ever.
On Nov 11 when we hadn't heard back, I called and was told our paperwork was still under "review."
I reminded the guy that I had been told 7-10 days and that that deadline had already been moved once. I was surprised when he actually got a little upset-- apparently the 7-10 day thing is official. He told me he'd finish the review within 24 hours and get our reply out that day.
We haven't heard back, but it's only been 5 days. I'm going to be patient until the end of the week.
This situation (and others very similar) has made me notice something very weird. I have bad days where I miss my parents like crazy. I really didn't think they would die so soon or right then or anytime really, but the mourning hasn't been the worst part of all this. It's horrible, but I did know they would die someday.
On the other hand I didn't know we'd be put through all this paper shuffling and jumping through hoops for many many months after loosing them.
I remember when my brother died, I was sort of glad there were Things That Needed To Be Done. It gave my parents something to focus on and be distracted by. We found a bit of family togetherness through wrapping up Jimmy's life. I haven't found anything like that this time. Maybe because my parents aren't here.
I just always thought the mourning would be the hardest part and so far it hasn't been.