Loveless Ideals
Josh rubbed his eyes again to try to get rid of the bleariness. Class was usually boring but not so boring he wanted to go to sleep. He guessed not being able to sleep much was finally catching up to him. After blinking a couple more times, his vision snapped back into its customary sharpness. If sharpness has blurs at the very edges. He looked down and hoped he could borrow Laurie's notes. Because a lot of his looked like they came out of the Pnakotic Manuscripts untranslated. They would probably look even worse later. What exactly was that squiggly letter there anyway?
It was a struggle not to go cross-eyed or fall asleep for the rest of the class, but he managed it. Josh was ever so thankful that this was the last class of the day. He wouldn't make it through another. He gathered up his things distractedly. Did somebody let a finch loose in the room? He shook his head and the sound went away. He wished he could get a decent night's sleep. Just one. He hadn't had one in over a week. He kept waking up at odd hours with a tingling sensation over his shoulders or the feeling the back of his neck was on fire. Those were easy enough for him to soothe away; his powers had to be good for something after all.
Josh forced himself back into the present and stopped staring off into space. He made sure everything was in hand as he left the classroom. Somebody might have said something to him. Or it was that damn finch twittering again. Either way, he was not paying close attention to it. He was busy trying to figure out what day it was and if he was supposed to study with Laurie in the library. Study this time. Not try to fall asleep on her. Josh still wasn't sure what day it was by the time he got to the door of his room. Well, he could go study in the library instead of his room anyway. It was more comfortable hiding behind shelves of books; it didn't feel like he was being constantly watched. Or if he was, it was easy to find out who it was.
He put his hand on the doorknob and sighed. It took a minute to remind himself that nothing was going to crawl all over him if he stepped into his own room. With his breath held, he opened the door...
... and nothing happened.
He let out his breath and stepped in. His bed still looked the same as it had this morning after changing his sheets for the seventh time in as many days. Josh fuzzily hoped he finally found a set without itching powder on them or whatever. His books were dropped on the bed. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at the closet.
No shadows crawled out of it or danced along its edge. When he woke in the middle of the night, there always seemed to be some darker shapes playing over there. They always made faint noises, too. Slight chirps and knocks. Soft rustles. Always as some shadow moved away from the rest.
Josh swallowed a little and scratched his shoulder. Well, if the shadows wanted what was in the package he had opened and hastily shoved into the closet, they were welcome to it. He didn't want to see it again. Hell, they could make a gourmet meal out of it for all he cared. He didn't have any use for it. He felt his hands clench into fists at his sides and looked down at them. His mouth compressed into a thin line. Then he spun on his heel and strode out of the room. He couldn't stand to be in there any longer.
He felt like he was forgetting something as the he walked down the hallway. His books and any thought of using them were sitting on the foot of his bed still.
It was a struggle not to go cross-eyed or fall asleep for the rest of the class, but he managed it. Josh was ever so thankful that this was the last class of the day. He wouldn't make it through another. He gathered up his things distractedly. Did somebody let a finch loose in the room? He shook his head and the sound went away. He wished he could get a decent night's sleep. Just one. He hadn't had one in over a week. He kept waking up at odd hours with a tingling sensation over his shoulders or the feeling the back of his neck was on fire. Those were easy enough for him to soothe away; his powers had to be good for something after all.
Josh forced himself back into the present and stopped staring off into space. He made sure everything was in hand as he left the classroom. Somebody might have said something to him. Or it was that damn finch twittering again. Either way, he was not paying close attention to it. He was busy trying to figure out what day it was and if he was supposed to study with Laurie in the library. Study this time. Not try to fall asleep on her. Josh still wasn't sure what day it was by the time he got to the door of his room. Well, he could go study in the library instead of his room anyway. It was more comfortable hiding behind shelves of books; it didn't feel like he was being constantly watched. Or if he was, it was easy to find out who it was.
He put his hand on the doorknob and sighed. It took a minute to remind himself that nothing was going to crawl all over him if he stepped into his own room. With his breath held, he opened the door...
... and nothing happened.
He let out his breath and stepped in. His bed still looked the same as it had this morning after changing his sheets for the seventh time in as many days. Josh fuzzily hoped he finally found a set without itching powder on them or whatever. His books were dropped on the bed. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at the closet.
No shadows crawled out of it or danced along its edge. When he woke in the middle of the night, there always seemed to be some darker shapes playing over there. They always made faint noises, too. Slight chirps and knocks. Soft rustles. Always as some shadow moved away from the rest.
Josh swallowed a little and scratched his shoulder. Well, if the shadows wanted what was in the package he had opened and hastily shoved into the closet, they were welcome to it. He didn't want to see it again. Hell, they could make a gourmet meal out of it for all he cared. He didn't have any use for it. He felt his hands clench into fists at his sides and looked down at them. His mouth compressed into a thin line. Then he spun on his heel and strode out of the room. He couldn't stand to be in there any longer.
He felt like he was forgetting something as the he walked down the hallway. His books and any thought of using them were sitting on the foot of his bed still.