Dateline: Daily Bugle
"We're cookin' with gas now, right? Somebody in this godforsaken hellhole tell me we're cookin' with gas on this Goblin Mania!"
"Well, Mr. Jameson, we're following some leads - "
"Leads, schmeads! I want answers! I want to know why 80 goddamn Goblins appeared over Manhattan out of nowhere, how Norman Osborn, dead for years, is found FRESHLY RE-DEAD wearing a Green Goblin costume with a batarang in his back! I want to know how the hell a serial-killer moron that died years ago wound up in MY GODDAMNED OFFICE waving a shotgun in my face, and I want irrefutable proof that the three goddamn Spider-Men seen with the 80 Goblins are in cahoots and they're all locked up together!"
"Uh, well, they're sneaky, sir, and it's difficult to - "
"You know what else is difficult, McClusky? A lit stogie in your eye socket! I pay you people for results, and I'm damn sure gonna GET some! Sanderson! Where are we on that giraffe story?"
"Ahem, no documented cases of mutancy involving any special qualities of, er, underarm flatulence at all, sir..."
"I'm telling you, it has to happen somewhere! Check the Idaho bureaus - that place is full of weird stupid crap! Get to work!"
"Well, Mr. Jameson, we're following some leads - "
"Leads, schmeads! I want answers! I want to know why 80 goddamn Goblins appeared over Manhattan out of nowhere, how Norman Osborn, dead for years, is found FRESHLY RE-DEAD wearing a Green Goblin costume with a batarang in his back! I want to know how the hell a serial-killer moron that died years ago wound up in MY GODDAMNED OFFICE waving a shotgun in my face, and I want irrefutable proof that the three goddamn Spider-Men seen with the 80 Goblins are in cahoots and they're all locked up together!"
"Uh, well, they're sneaky, sir, and it's difficult to - "
"You know what else is difficult, McClusky? A lit stogie in your eye socket! I pay you people for results, and I'm damn sure gonna GET some! Sanderson! Where are we on that giraffe story?"
"Ahem, no documented cases of mutancy involving any special qualities of, er, underarm flatulence at all, sir..."
"I'm telling you, it has to happen somewhere! Check the Idaho bureaus - that place is full of weird stupid crap! Get to work!"