Rantings of a semi-drunk man...
...hah, these always seem to happen when I've had a few drinks in me. But it has to be true that your true feelings come out when you're intoxicated, so...
Yes. I still think about Dominik. I don't hate it, but I don't care for it too much either. I just felt so good when I was dating him. I was happy. I was having fun just getting to know him. It was such a good feeling compared to when I was with Ryan.
Note that since a certain amount of Guinness is in my system right now I'm having to go back over EVERYTHING I'm typing now cuz I can promise you there will be typos galore... so back to my rant...
I just wish that he didn't decide to break it off with me. Sure things probably would've gone as he predicted... but... I just would like another chance with him. I feel so dumb feeling like that sometimes! I know love never happens when you want it to, but I loathe not being in control of my destiny. I'm human (mostly) and when has our species ever liked not being in control?
I take that back. Duh. Religion! *dodgy look* Back to whatever...
*sighs*
At least I feel like things are getting back on track with work. I'm getting back into being Mr. Starbucks. It kinda floored me when RaNae spoke with me about what she did. But I understand and accept what she said as being nothing but the truth. I did allow certain things in my personal life to get in the way of my work and I'm sorry it did happen. I know I'm better than that.
*grumbles and slight lowering of the head*
Maybe I just miss the feel of another man's skin against mine. Maybe I miss having someone to hold hands with. The simple things. I didn't love Dominik and I know I don't now. I just had feelings for him.
I'm only happy when I'm with you
I only feel good when I'm talking to you
& I'm a mess when you don't call me
Call me at night
Where did you go
Where did you go
And did you think of me
It's hard to breathe
& my heart is sinking
I'm slipping fast
as I'm reaching for you
It's gonna hurt cause
I have been there before
Can't take much more
Can't take another night
Without you beside me
I want to review my kisses
On every inch of your body
I want to reveal my secrets
That only you should know
I feel all this pain inside of me
That only your lips can make better
I wanna review my kisses
So you won't forget that you are mine
Don't wanna care more than you do
Don't wanna be the one whos out in the rain
Don't wanna get that
Call where you sound so cold
So far away, So far away
Like the distant roll of thunder
I want to review my kisses
On every inch of your body
I want to reveal my secrets
That only you should know
I feel all this pain inside of me
That only your lips can make better
I wanna review my kisses
So you won't forget that you are mine
It's a cave in the darkness
And I'm lost inside you
Don't go!
I want to review my kisses
On every inch of your body
I want to reveal my secrets
That only you should know
I feel like a childless mother
Longing to hold her baby
If I could review my kisses
Then you won't forget that you are mine
LeAnn Rimes sure knows how to tell it how it is.
*kicks at the dirt*
Even though it was only a month of us dating... I just don't feel like it was right that it ended. It feels off. I want to keep him in my life and argh! I don't like it! I don't agree with it even though I know breaking things off with him (temporarily) was the right thing to do... it's still hard.
I'm trying to have faith that I'm learning a valuable lesson here. I get that with Ryan, I learned that I cannot settle for anyone and that no man changes unless he wants to. I learned with Kevin that I can be assertive and not let myself fall back into old habits and get into something I know will not last. With Dominik... I learned that I can confront a situation and let my voice be heard... is this what it means to grow up? Is this what it means to be human? Is this what it means to live?
I've been told that I will find somebody. And I know I will, whenever it is... I know I will find that someone who will make me smile and feel everything I want to feel... maybe it's not Dominik. Maybe that special guy is on his way... who knows, really?
Gah, maybe I've had more to drink that I thought. Hopefully I'm not gonna be a zombie for Pride tomorrow. I'm feeling kinda iffy either way. Deh.
That's my new emotion. Deh.
Anyway...
My time is coming. Other people can shine around me for so long before I will shine brighter. Night will give way to the morning and this winter will change into spring.
Oh look, cashews... *devours them* Mm, salty.
I think it's time for sleeping and more dreams.
*bows out*
Yes. I still think about Dominik. I don't hate it, but I don't care for it too much either. I just felt so good when I was dating him. I was happy. I was having fun just getting to know him. It was such a good feeling compared to when I was with Ryan.
Note that since a certain amount of Guinness is in my system right now I'm having to go back over EVERYTHING I'm typing now cuz I can promise you there will be typos galore... so back to my rant...
I just wish that he didn't decide to break it off with me. Sure things probably would've gone as he predicted... but... I just would like another chance with him. I feel so dumb feeling like that sometimes! I know love never happens when you want it to, but I loathe not being in control of my destiny. I'm human (mostly) and when has our species ever liked not being in control?
I take that back. Duh. Religion! *dodgy look* Back to whatever...
*sighs*
At least I feel like things are getting back on track with work. I'm getting back into being Mr. Starbucks. It kinda floored me when RaNae spoke with me about what she did. But I understand and accept what she said as being nothing but the truth. I did allow certain things in my personal life to get in the way of my work and I'm sorry it did happen. I know I'm better than that.
*grumbles and slight lowering of the head*
Maybe I just miss the feel of another man's skin against mine. Maybe I miss having someone to hold hands with. The simple things. I didn't love Dominik and I know I don't now. I just had feelings for him.
I'm only happy when I'm with you
I only feel good when I'm talking to you
& I'm a mess when you don't call me
Call me at night
Where did you go
Where did you go
And did you think of me
It's hard to breathe
& my heart is sinking
I'm slipping fast
as I'm reaching for you
It's gonna hurt cause
I have been there before
Can't take much more
Can't take another night
Without you beside me
I want to review my kisses
On every inch of your body
I want to reveal my secrets
That only you should know
I feel all this pain inside of me
That only your lips can make better
I wanna review my kisses
So you won't forget that you are mine
Don't wanna care more than you do
Don't wanna be the one whos out in the rain
Don't wanna get that
Call where you sound so cold
So far away, So far away
Like the distant roll of thunder
I want to review my kisses
On every inch of your body
I want to reveal my secrets
That only you should know
I feel all this pain inside of me
That only your lips can make better
I wanna review my kisses
So you won't forget that you are mine
It's a cave in the darkness
And I'm lost inside you
Don't go!
I want to review my kisses
On every inch of your body
I want to reveal my secrets
That only you should know
I feel like a childless mother
Longing to hold her baby
If I could review my kisses
Then you won't forget that you are mine
LeAnn Rimes sure knows how to tell it how it is.
*kicks at the dirt*
Even though it was only a month of us dating... I just don't feel like it was right that it ended. It feels off. I want to keep him in my life and argh! I don't like it! I don't agree with it even though I know breaking things off with him (temporarily) was the right thing to do... it's still hard.
I'm trying to have faith that I'm learning a valuable lesson here. I get that with Ryan, I learned that I cannot settle for anyone and that no man changes unless he wants to. I learned with Kevin that I can be assertive and not let myself fall back into old habits and get into something I know will not last. With Dominik... I learned that I can confront a situation and let my voice be heard... is this what it means to grow up? Is this what it means to be human? Is this what it means to live?
I've been told that I will find somebody. And I know I will, whenever it is... I know I will find that someone who will make me smile and feel everything I want to feel... maybe it's not Dominik. Maybe that special guy is on his way... who knows, really?
Gah, maybe I've had more to drink that I thought. Hopefully I'm not gonna be a zombie for Pride tomorrow. I'm feeling kinda iffy either way. Deh.
That's my new emotion. Deh.
Anyway...
My time is coming. Other people can shine around me for so long before I will shine brighter. Night will give way to the morning and this winter will change into spring.
Oh look, cashews... *devours them* Mm, salty.
I think it's time for sleeping and more dreams.
*bows out*