(no subject)
I just wrote this scene in 34 minutes and submitted it to the class website, it's bad. subpar.:
Delores sat on the wooden pew beside Mother, listening to her husband deliver the weekly sermon. As she glanced around the room, it was obvious that she was the only one listening. Her husband Robert, whom everyone called “The Reverend”, was a somewhat boring speaker that day and had driven many people to have little conversations of their own in the congregation, or sleep. Even Bertha, the organist, had fallen asleep at her station with her head tilted forward and had a string of drool falling from her lower lip.
As Robert stood at the podium, Delores watched him read his sermon word for word. He was usually more lively. He could put on a show, running back and forth, making people scream and yell. It could be compared to a rock concert. This time though, he was monotone and lagging. Every few words he would yawn. Maybe because Delores kept him up all night.
“Would you look at that hussy, she’s nothing short of a harlot,” Mother said suddenly.
“What hussy?” Delores inquired.
“That hussy in the choir. You can see all her business.”
The hussy in question was Edith. She was wearing short, blue jean shorts, and with her legs crossed, everyone who was still awake could see all of her left thigh. It was a pretty nice thigh. No cellulite. Two Deacons, four parking attendants, the youth minister, and the sound engineer all saw that thigh (and more) in the previous week. Edith was a fairly attractive woman of forty-two. She looked like one of those women in the films that Delores found stashed under Robert’s side of the mattress. Delores knew that she was still hot for a fifty-four year old, thanks to Taebo and not having children, so she caved when Robert wanted to film their escapades every other weekend. This weekend was special though, since Robert was turning fifty she figured she’d invite a third as a surprise. She didn’t want one from the Greater Chattanooga Yellow Pages though, they’d probably be expensive. Edith was good enough.
“This place is just full of heathens, it makes me want to spit,” Mother said crossing her ankles so she wouldn’t appear as loose as Edith. “I’m as pure as the Lord himself. I know I’m going to heaven. Hallelujah.” Delores rolled her eyes.
After the service was over, Delores and Mother waited outside for Robert while other church members sectioned off into their factions to discuss the latest gossip and children ran through the parking lot dodging cars.
“Any plans for The Reverend’s birthday today, Delores?” Mother asked.
“Just maybe a dinner at home. Nothing too big.”
“Swell. I’ll be over at seven and I’ll bring his gift. I bought him a tie.” Mother walked away toward her Oldsmobile. Did she just invite herself?
Edith was one of the last ones to exit the church doors. She pulled out the sunglasses she had in her back pocket and slipped them on. Delores figured this was her chance, but Edith was being watched (of course, and she loved it), so she looked through the parking lot, car by car, until she spotted Edith’s Aston Martin. She pardoned her way through the groups of churchgoers to meet Edith at her car. With each step she felt more anxious. What if Edith turned her down? Nah, she wouldn’t turn down the chance to sleep with The Reverend. She’d been working her way up the clergy ladder for a few months now. Delores had to be subtle though. She didn’t want to just blurt out, “hey, will you have a threesome with me and my husband for his birthday?” Delores saw Edith walking toward her as she stood in front of the car. Thinking she would look obvious, she suddenly bent forward and looked at her shoes, pretending that she had stepped in something. Gum perhaps.
“Hey Delores, Feelin’ sick?” Edith asked.
“Oh no, just stepped in something I think.” Delores straightened up again.
“So how have you been?”
“Great. You?
“Same.”
“Yeah.” Ask her! “Um. So The Reverend is turning fifty today.”
“I know! He looks so young. Tell him I wish him at happy fiftieth, even though he passed me over for choir director again.”
“Sorry about that. He probably gave it to Bertha since she’s up there in years.”
“Well, she IS old.” Edith pressed the unlock button on her keychain.
She’s leaving! “We’re having a surprise dinner for him tonight if you’d like to stop by.”
“Oh thanks, I’d love to. I’ve never really been invited to anyone’s house here.” Edith said with a chuckle. “So do I need to bring anything?”
“No, I’ll cook, you just come on over around seven.” Delores then remembered Mother was coming over at seven. “Make it eight.”
“Eight o’clock it is,” Edith said as she stepped into her car. Oh, I’ll ask her when she gets there.
Delores sat on the wooden pew beside Mother, listening to her husband deliver the weekly sermon. As she glanced around the room, it was obvious that she was the only one listening. Her husband Robert, whom everyone called “The Reverend”, was a somewhat boring speaker that day and had driven many people to have little conversations of their own in the congregation, or sleep. Even Bertha, the organist, had fallen asleep at her station with her head tilted forward and had a string of drool falling from her lower lip.
As Robert stood at the podium, Delores watched him read his sermon word for word. He was usually more lively. He could put on a show, running back and forth, making people scream and yell. It could be compared to a rock concert. This time though, he was monotone and lagging. Every few words he would yawn. Maybe because Delores kept him up all night.
“Would you look at that hussy, she’s nothing short of a harlot,” Mother said suddenly.
“What hussy?” Delores inquired.
“That hussy in the choir. You can see all her business.”
The hussy in question was Edith. She was wearing short, blue jean shorts, and with her legs crossed, everyone who was still awake could see all of her left thigh. It was a pretty nice thigh. No cellulite. Two Deacons, four parking attendants, the youth minister, and the sound engineer all saw that thigh (and more) in the previous week. Edith was a fairly attractive woman of forty-two. She looked like one of those women in the films that Delores found stashed under Robert’s side of the mattress. Delores knew that she was still hot for a fifty-four year old, thanks to Taebo and not having children, so she caved when Robert wanted to film their escapades every other weekend. This weekend was special though, since Robert was turning fifty she figured she’d invite a third as a surprise. She didn’t want one from the Greater Chattanooga Yellow Pages though, they’d probably be expensive. Edith was good enough.
“This place is just full of heathens, it makes me want to spit,” Mother said crossing her ankles so she wouldn’t appear as loose as Edith. “I’m as pure as the Lord himself. I know I’m going to heaven. Hallelujah.” Delores rolled her eyes.
After the service was over, Delores and Mother waited outside for Robert while other church members sectioned off into their factions to discuss the latest gossip and children ran through the parking lot dodging cars.
“Any plans for The Reverend’s birthday today, Delores?” Mother asked.
“Just maybe a dinner at home. Nothing too big.”
“Swell. I’ll be over at seven and I’ll bring his gift. I bought him a tie.” Mother walked away toward her Oldsmobile. Did she just invite herself?
Edith was one of the last ones to exit the church doors. She pulled out the sunglasses she had in her back pocket and slipped them on. Delores figured this was her chance, but Edith was being watched (of course, and she loved it), so she looked through the parking lot, car by car, until she spotted Edith’s Aston Martin. She pardoned her way through the groups of churchgoers to meet Edith at her car. With each step she felt more anxious. What if Edith turned her down? Nah, she wouldn’t turn down the chance to sleep with The Reverend. She’d been working her way up the clergy ladder for a few months now. Delores had to be subtle though. She didn’t want to just blurt out, “hey, will you have a threesome with me and my husband for his birthday?” Delores saw Edith walking toward her as she stood in front of the car. Thinking she would look obvious, she suddenly bent forward and looked at her shoes, pretending that she had stepped in something. Gum perhaps.
“Hey Delores, Feelin’ sick?” Edith asked.
“Oh no, just stepped in something I think.” Delores straightened up again.
“So how have you been?”
“Great. You?
“Same.”
“Yeah.” Ask her! “Um. So The Reverend is turning fifty today.”
“I know! He looks so young. Tell him I wish him at happy fiftieth, even though he passed me over for choir director again.”
“Sorry about that. He probably gave it to Bertha since she’s up there in years.”
“Well, she IS old.” Edith pressed the unlock button on her keychain.
She’s leaving! “We’re having a surprise dinner for him tonight if you’d like to stop by.”
“Oh thanks, I’d love to. I’ve never really been invited to anyone’s house here.” Edith said with a chuckle. “So do I need to bring anything?”
“No, I’ll cook, you just come on over around seven.” Delores then remembered Mother was coming over at seven. “Make it eight.”
“Eight o’clock it is,” Edith said as she stepped into her car. Oh, I’ll ask her when she gets there.