May DeShawn and a crow dance on his grave forever
Martin thanks Gary Gygax for:
Marko's stint as a servant of the God of Luck. Important position when you're not a real person, but a puppet whose every decision is controlled by a ten-year-old.
The time the Company of the Shining Spear totally took down demon prince Orcus and stunned the world.
Making the ladies think I was "creative" and "interesting" in 6th grade.
Not needing any of those ladies, because I had spunky teenaged rogue Moonshadow to dream about, at least until she ran away with asshole werewolf Axel MacLeod and he left her to die in the dark, with ankhegs.
Every copyrighted fairy tale, superhero, or Hollywood Blockbuster we ever blatantly stole from.
Little-kid nerd jokes you wouldn't get even if I tried to explain them, like Silverman, Silverdoor, (especially) Teego, and "So, you wanna know how to defeat me, eh?" and "I'll look for gold. I'll look for treasure. I won't go in."
Fucking Manchester, the Man United-themed character with a magic soccer ball and still the worst RP character ever.
The time I got to turn TJ's dude into a pillar of salt.
Huggles, the psychic, psychedelic, psychopathic potbellied pig.
Really calming me down a lot with the partying when I was 20 because I had to be not too messed up to play D&D on Sunday night.
Captain Orcbelly, discovering saltpetre, and falling in with a ragtag band of revolutionaries. "Smash the state?"
Having the opportunity to play geek games with my girlfriend and seeing it extend a doomed relationship by at least six weeks.
Keeping me sane in Williams Lake by allowing me to pour all my got-beat-up anger into an uncommonly dark and depressing underground campaign world, and watching it take flight and turn amazing when I got back home, started playing, and got all happy again.
Swinging in my hammock and looking up at the stars on the beach on Koh Phangan and listening to "Scheherezade" and imagining the next campaign setting, with eldritch steam engines and crystal ball telecommunications networks - one of the nicest nights ever.
David Topovkul, start to finish.
But especially when he faked his own death.
But especially when he broke his wand in half and blew up the Sarudon's tower and ruined everybody's items.
But ESPECIALLY when he turned Chinese, charmed Earson, left his artificial hand in the punch bowl, stole those babies to make everyone take him seriously, and took off into the sunset.
David's team: Jack Sabbath, Stacey/DC, Ed Zeppelin, Motley Stüe, and Cheap Rick.
David's two-armed girallon flesh golem, Suave Gillette, and watching him go over the cliff flames with the end boss to the strains of "I Believe in a Thing Called Love." 7/27 NEVER FORGET SUAVE GILLETTE
But enough about David! Here's to Adam's dude, Daareon, who tricked everyone harder than they've ever been tricked before. (THE TRICK WAS HE WAS ACTUALLY WAY EVIL)
And here's to Jack Flack, and his lamer but somehow more credibly threatening brother Slack Sack.
And Bin's dude who liked to squat, and Bin's dude who liked to eat bits of himself and his tiny friends, and Bin's dude who liked to get torn apart by umber hulks, and just Bin in general.
And Orestein, who totally wrecked Jarren for ever feeling love again.
And Shitza Blitza the dwarf, about whom the less said the better, really.
And everything else about Halls of Undermartin, the funnestest campaign ever. Nikky's other character, briefly, was Jenny Stikkupas.
And Geoff's first game (Fields of Overgeoff, natch), where I got to beat up a minotaur and then quit to go to Japan, but everybody sent me stories of their adventures and made me feel like I really knew their characters (ONE WAS A MIMIC WTF AND ONE WAS A TREE)
Jasper the rock monster and the Chip Bag Bandits.
DeShawn JuJube, the larcenous, crow-loving son of Hippledip JuJube, Senior Permanent Undersecretary for Mineral Affairs, Geode Division, and his wife Mamie (nee Holtthorpe, of the East Gnomington Holtthorpes), the best damn gnome that there ever did be.
Being so, so tired every Monday morning at my stupid responsibility desk and being basically totally down with that because I had such rad tymez playing Masters of the University.
Damn, We Killed Him Good Enterprises, Inc.
Watching Adam play a character of Int 3 successfully for six levels.
Watching Geoff play the most dubious paladin EVER successfully for 14 levels.
STEALIN EVERYBODY'S SHIT AND SELLING IT OH YEAH AND MAKING MY DUDE stronger than he ever, ever had any right to be.
When Chris's dude got turned into a chick. So classic.
The short, wikked high five-filled career of party god Eben Toyer.
The Fightin' Gars - when three dudes can go away and separately create characters with names that all end in "-gar," it was obviously meant to be.
Until they betray each other and Liam's dude ends up with divine power and Srinagar just has to sulk in his bathrobe and play his sax and raise his terrifying omniscient son, Tyrone.
Xyxyphyz, and when he exploded with an axe in his head.
Zophtamuz, who broke D&D. (Hint: it involves Tenser's Transformation and the Blood Magus prestige class).
Applecore Amblin, who died too young, and the sensible absence of x's and z's in her name.
Fakouk (pronounced FCUK), who goes now to begin the solitary pantsless exile that honour demands.
Wolfgang the flouncy jib fiend, his cousin Jean-Pierre von Crypt, their employees, who deserve no more recognition here than we gave them in the game HA HA EMILY AND JESSICA (except for Rock Poppers the surveyor. Dreamy!), a million skeletons, and imp named Kenneth Branagh, and getting to name those fortresses Feathers, Cadillac and Jean-Pierristan.
When Brannigan O'Shea, temperamental pyrokineticist (ME, dick) won the Most Valuable Role-Player award at that weird D&D tournament in Nanaimo.
Playing D&D, missing playing D&D, and dreaming about playing D&D. For all these years, despite my fulfilling life or whatever. Being excited about 4th edtion.
Anything else? Fuck, man. Magic missile. Thanks to Gary for
magic fucking missile.
And for the memories.
Marko's stint as a servant of the God of Luck. Important position when you're not a real person, but a puppet whose every decision is controlled by a ten-year-old.
The time the Company of the Shining Spear totally took down demon prince Orcus and stunned the world.
Making the ladies think I was "creative" and "interesting" in 6th grade.
Not needing any of those ladies, because I had spunky teenaged rogue Moonshadow to dream about, at least until she ran away with asshole werewolf Axel MacLeod and he left her to die in the dark, with ankhegs.
Every copyrighted fairy tale, superhero, or Hollywood Blockbuster we ever blatantly stole from.
Little-kid nerd jokes you wouldn't get even if I tried to explain them, like Silverman, Silverdoor, (especially) Teego, and "So, you wanna know how to defeat me, eh?" and "I'll look for gold. I'll look for treasure. I won't go in."
Fucking Manchester, the Man United-themed character with a magic soccer ball and still the worst RP character ever.
The time I got to turn TJ's dude into a pillar of salt.
Huggles, the psychic, psychedelic, psychopathic potbellied pig.
Really calming me down a lot with the partying when I was 20 because I had to be not too messed up to play D&D on Sunday night.
Captain Orcbelly, discovering saltpetre, and falling in with a ragtag band of revolutionaries. "Smash the state?"
Having the opportunity to play geek games with my girlfriend and seeing it extend a doomed relationship by at least six weeks.
Keeping me sane in Williams Lake by allowing me to pour all my got-beat-up anger into an uncommonly dark and depressing underground campaign world, and watching it take flight and turn amazing when I got back home, started playing, and got all happy again.
Swinging in my hammock and looking up at the stars on the beach on Koh Phangan and listening to "Scheherezade" and imagining the next campaign setting, with eldritch steam engines and crystal ball telecommunications networks - one of the nicest nights ever.
David Topovkul, start to finish.
But especially when he faked his own death.
But especially when he broke his wand in half and blew up the Sarudon's tower and ruined everybody's items.
But ESPECIALLY when he turned Chinese, charmed Earson, left his artificial hand in the punch bowl, stole those babies to make everyone take him seriously, and took off into the sunset.
David's team: Jack Sabbath, Stacey/DC, Ed Zeppelin, Motley Stüe, and Cheap Rick.
David's two-armed girallon flesh golem, Suave Gillette, and watching him go over the cliff flames with the end boss to the strains of "I Believe in a Thing Called Love." 7/27 NEVER FORGET SUAVE GILLETTE
But enough about David! Here's to Adam's dude, Daareon, who tricked everyone harder than they've ever been tricked before. (THE TRICK WAS HE WAS ACTUALLY WAY EVIL)
And here's to Jack Flack, and his lamer but somehow more credibly threatening brother Slack Sack.
And Bin's dude who liked to squat, and Bin's dude who liked to eat bits of himself and his tiny friends, and Bin's dude who liked to get torn apart by umber hulks, and just Bin in general.
And Orestein, who totally wrecked Jarren for ever feeling love again.
And Shitza Blitza the dwarf, about whom the less said the better, really.
And everything else about Halls of Undermartin, the funnestest campaign ever. Nikky's other character, briefly, was Jenny Stikkupas.
And Geoff's first game (Fields of Overgeoff, natch), where I got to beat up a minotaur and then quit to go to Japan, but everybody sent me stories of their adventures and made me feel like I really knew their characters (ONE WAS A MIMIC WTF AND ONE WAS A TREE)
Jasper the rock monster and the Chip Bag Bandits.
DeShawn JuJube, the larcenous, crow-loving son of Hippledip JuJube, Senior Permanent Undersecretary for Mineral Affairs, Geode Division, and his wife Mamie (nee Holtthorpe, of the East Gnomington Holtthorpes), the best damn gnome that there ever did be.
Being so, so tired every Monday morning at my stupid responsibility desk and being basically totally down with that because I had such rad tymez playing Masters of the University.
Damn, We Killed Him Good Enterprises, Inc.
Watching Adam play a character of Int 3 successfully for six levels.
Watching Geoff play the most dubious paladin EVER successfully for 14 levels.
STEALIN EVERYBODY'S SHIT AND SELLING IT OH YEAH AND MAKING MY DUDE stronger than he ever, ever had any right to be.
When Chris's dude got turned into a chick. So classic.
The short, wikked high five-filled career of party god Eben Toyer.
The Fightin' Gars - when three dudes can go away and separately create characters with names that all end in "-gar," it was obviously meant to be.
Until they betray each other and Liam's dude ends up with divine power and Srinagar just has to sulk in his bathrobe and play his sax and raise his terrifying omniscient son, Tyrone.
Xyxyphyz, and when he exploded with an axe in his head.
Zophtamuz, who broke D&D. (Hint: it involves Tenser's Transformation and the Blood Magus prestige class).
Applecore Amblin, who died too young, and the sensible absence of x's and z's in her name.
Fakouk (pronounced FCUK), who goes now to begin the solitary pantsless exile that honour demands.
Wolfgang the flouncy jib fiend, his cousin Jean-Pierre von Crypt, their employees, who deserve no more recognition here than we gave them in the game HA HA EMILY AND JESSICA (except for Rock Poppers the surveyor. Dreamy!), a million skeletons, and imp named Kenneth Branagh, and getting to name those fortresses Feathers, Cadillac and Jean-Pierristan.
When Brannigan O'Shea, temperamental pyrokineticist (ME, dick) won the Most Valuable Role-Player award at that weird D&D tournament in Nanaimo.
Playing D&D, missing playing D&D, and dreaming about playing D&D. For all these years, despite my fulfilling life or whatever. Being excited about 4th edtion.
Anything else? Fuck, man. Magic missile. Thanks to Gary for
magic fucking missile.
And for the memories.