a horrendous night
That was one of the physically worst nights I've ever experienced.
Bed at midnight, after taking the usual antidepressant pill, which includes a sedative and has generally meant I can get to sleep easily enough. Read for not much over half an hour. Can't get comfy - neck and shoulder pains mean lying on my back (never a position I go to sleep in) doesn't work; lying on either side brings on agonising pains somewhere near the oesophageal tumour. Give up trying c.2:30 and get up, figuring that there are times when it is easier to sleep comfortably slumped back in the armchair.
Move to armchair and get comfortable. Start sweating and feeling sick. Head to toilet, bring up small amounts of what seems to be bile (no food in my stomach). Back to armchair and repeat. And again, but the third time get as far as the living room door and feel faint. Grab door jamb. Collapse anyway, possibly with momentary blackout. Bang head and shoulder on bookcase. Stay down for a couple of minutes, then cautiously get up and, still sweating and feeling sick, head for the toilet. Collapse two yards later. Lie on hallway floor, partly against wall, for maybe 15 minutes, listening to my insides make the weirdest, loudest range of bubbling noises I've ever heard. Crawl to toilet eventually, by which point the sickness has gone. Consider phoning 999. Head back to armchair and relax, managing four hours of sleep.
I did collapse once before, some weeks ago, but that time I didn't black out, so fell in a controlled way - this time neither was under any kind of control. Scary times, and had I had my mobile with me on the second collapse, when it took me ages to get up again, I think I would have called for an ambulance. I feel fairly normal again now.
Bed at midnight, after taking the usual antidepressant pill, which includes a sedative and has generally meant I can get to sleep easily enough. Read for not much over half an hour. Can't get comfy - neck and shoulder pains mean lying on my back (never a position I go to sleep in) doesn't work; lying on either side brings on agonising pains somewhere near the oesophageal tumour. Give up trying c.2:30 and get up, figuring that there are times when it is easier to sleep comfortably slumped back in the armchair.
Move to armchair and get comfortable. Start sweating and feeling sick. Head to toilet, bring up small amounts of what seems to be bile (no food in my stomach). Back to armchair and repeat. And again, but the third time get as far as the living room door and feel faint. Grab door jamb. Collapse anyway, possibly with momentary blackout. Bang head and shoulder on bookcase. Stay down for a couple of minutes, then cautiously get up and, still sweating and feeling sick, head for the toilet. Collapse two yards later. Lie on hallway floor, partly against wall, for maybe 15 minutes, listening to my insides make the weirdest, loudest range of bubbling noises I've ever heard. Crawl to toilet eventually, by which point the sickness has gone. Consider phoning 999. Head back to armchair and relax, managing four hours of sleep.
I did collapse once before, some weeks ago, but that time I didn't black out, so fell in a controlled way - this time neither was under any kind of control. Scary times, and had I had my mobile with me on the second collapse, when it took me ages to get up again, I think I would have called for an ambulance. I feel fairly normal again now.