Suckiness
everything has been so sucky lately. my spring break doesnt really seem like one. this whole move is becoming so stressful. i have to keep everything so fucking perfect. i am sick of it all. i am not a perfect person, and i cant fake it for two more months. i have like no friends. it seems like everyone who i consider to be my really good friends dont think of me that way. i try to interact, and to have fun with them, but i fell like they dont even acknowledge me or try to include me, although they havent been outright mean. i have no social life, the most social thing ive been doing besides waterpolo practice is going on walks with amy or sean in which case i just end up crying and talking about how much everything sucks and we hug and go home and watch beauty and the beast. sometimes i really just want to go away, but i cant. i consider myself an optimist, and i always like to think that eventually better times will come, but right now i cant see it. also, my mom wouldnt lend me money to go to the epitaph tour last week,and if i went with kasia i would have gotten to meet sonny! he hugged her and sign her pants. i think that the last good thing that happened to me was that i touched buddys chest at taste of chaos, and that was on march 9th. aaaaggggghhh!! well, sorry for all of the ranting if you read this, but i feel a little better getting this off of my chest.