Some people live permanently in the gutter. I share my residence between the gutter and crack land.
Title: Shattered Glass Crack: The Church of Primus. (1/1)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: This is Crack, complete and absolute crack. Do not take seriously. At all. Zero. Nada.
Pairings: Vaguely implied Prowl x Jazz, Megatron x Starscream.
Characters: Cliffjumper, Prowl, Jazz, Megatron, Starscream, Sunstorm. Mention of Soundwave, Whisper, Sideswipe and Cyclonus.
Summary: Cliffjumper never thought he'd ever become a preacher of sorts until he landed in an alternate universe.
Notes: This is not meant to be part of any of the other Shattered Glass fics. Even if it hints to events and characters of those fics. This is crack, pure and simple. Treat as such.
Many, many vorns ago Cliffjumper wouldn't have considered for an astrosecond he could ever be anything but an aggressive warrior ready to kick some Decepti... no, Autobutt --Primus! It was so hard to get used to the reversal of roles in this universe he was stuck in for the time being.
But now, as he watched the progress made on the construction of a small underground chapel, he found himself reviewing the contents of an old data pad, reading through small passages that told the mythos of Primus back in his own universe. The pad was given to him by a very unlikely mech back on Earth. A mech he insisted to keep unnamed for the sake of the Prowl in this universe.
When Cliffjumper first found out the Transformers in this world knew nothing about Primus he was incredibly surprised, but it was an even greater shock to find out how many of his current allies seemed interested in the subject and embraced the belief of the divine being of light responsible for their creation. Which brought him back to the here and now, when he oversaw the last touches to the chapel where Cliffjumper intended to educate and spread the knowledge about Primus, and remind the troops there was a benevolent force behind their creation, that there was some hope for their kind. And, even though he wasn't going to admit it to anyone, to give them a reason to laugh in these harsh times, for he intended to harmonize the teachings about Primus with something he borrowed from some 'alien' cultures.
"You want me to do what?!" Prowl all but squeaked when Cliffjumper selected him to be part of his project.
"Ya heard me, tight aft. I need some 'bots for the choir and you happen to have a very good tone for it."
Prowl shook his head vehemently, shooting Megatron a look that was nothing if not pleading, begging him to deny Cliffjumper's request. But Megatron found himself too amused with the prospect of Prowl singing in a choir and much to his advisor's dismay --and Starscream's utter amusement; he allowed Cliffjumper to 'borrow' Prowl for the cycle.
"Anyone else you may need?" Megatron asked with a smile on his face plates.
"Anyone else you know that could sing?"
"Soundwave," Starscream piped in, waving a hand dismissively at the look he got from Cliffjumper. "Believe me, he can sing."
"O-kay."
--------------------
Jazz was used to sneaking in and out of Iacon at any time he pleased, and even more used to disguising himself to avoid detection. It was a skill no one but one other mech knew about, and he intended to keep it that way. But at the moment he was very happy he was that resourceful, because he didn't want to miss this sight for anything in the universe.
"Sing louder, Prowl! Primus can't hear you!" Cliffjumper clapped his hands to get the tactician's attention. Prowl shifted a little and raised his voice fractionally at Cliffjumper's request. "I said louder!"
Jazz had to clamp a hand to his mouth to keep himself quiet. He was currently disguised, and neutral mechs all around the area had been welcomed into the chapel but he wasn't about to blow his cover by falling into hysterical fits of laughter at Prowl's performance as a choir 'bot.
Not too far from there, Sunstorm was preaching to a group of Decepticons, possibly in preparation for the first official service.
"And Primus said: YOU listen to me." Sunstorm moved from Whisper to Sideswipe and pointed a finger at him "And YOU obey me!" He then moved to Cyclonus 'And YOU-' Sunstorm slapped Cyclonus on his head, "-treat me with respect!"
Prowl raised an optic ridge, looking at the bewildered Cyclonus rubbing his head. "What is Sunstorm doing?"
Cliffjumper shrugged. "Picking on the holiest ones."
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: This is Crack, complete and absolute crack. Do not take seriously. At all. Zero. Nada.
Pairings: Vaguely implied Prowl x Jazz, Megatron x Starscream.
Characters: Cliffjumper, Prowl, Jazz, Megatron, Starscream, Sunstorm. Mention of Soundwave, Whisper, Sideswipe and Cyclonus.
Summary: Cliffjumper never thought he'd ever become a preacher of sorts until he landed in an alternate universe.
Notes: This is not meant to be part of any of the other Shattered Glass fics. Even if it hints to events and characters of those fics. This is crack, pure and simple. Treat as such.
Many, many vorns ago Cliffjumper wouldn't have considered for an astrosecond he could ever be anything but an aggressive warrior ready to kick some Decepti... no, Autobutt --Primus! It was so hard to get used to the reversal of roles in this universe he was stuck in for the time being.
But now, as he watched the progress made on the construction of a small underground chapel, he found himself reviewing the contents of an old data pad, reading through small passages that told the mythos of Primus back in his own universe. The pad was given to him by a very unlikely mech back on Earth. A mech he insisted to keep unnamed for the sake of the Prowl in this universe.
When Cliffjumper first found out the Transformers in this world knew nothing about Primus he was incredibly surprised, but it was an even greater shock to find out how many of his current allies seemed interested in the subject and embraced the belief of the divine being of light responsible for their creation. Which brought him back to the here and now, when he oversaw the last touches to the chapel where Cliffjumper intended to educate and spread the knowledge about Primus, and remind the troops there was a benevolent force behind their creation, that there was some hope for their kind. And, even though he wasn't going to admit it to anyone, to give them a reason to laugh in these harsh times, for he intended to harmonize the teachings about Primus with something he borrowed from some 'alien' cultures.
"You want me to do what?!" Prowl all but squeaked when Cliffjumper selected him to be part of his project.
"Ya heard me, tight aft. I need some 'bots for the choir and you happen to have a very good tone for it."
Prowl shook his head vehemently, shooting Megatron a look that was nothing if not pleading, begging him to deny Cliffjumper's request. But Megatron found himself too amused with the prospect of Prowl singing in a choir and much to his advisor's dismay --and Starscream's utter amusement; he allowed Cliffjumper to 'borrow' Prowl for the cycle.
"Anyone else you may need?" Megatron asked with a smile on his face plates.
"Anyone else you know that could sing?"
"Soundwave," Starscream piped in, waving a hand dismissively at the look he got from Cliffjumper. "Believe me, he can sing."
"O-kay."
--------------------
Jazz was used to sneaking in and out of Iacon at any time he pleased, and even more used to disguising himself to avoid detection. It was a skill no one but one other mech knew about, and he intended to keep it that way. But at the moment he was very happy he was that resourceful, because he didn't want to miss this sight for anything in the universe.
"Sing louder, Prowl! Primus can't hear you!" Cliffjumper clapped his hands to get the tactician's attention. Prowl shifted a little and raised his voice fractionally at Cliffjumper's request. "I said louder!"
Jazz had to clamp a hand to his mouth to keep himself quiet. He was currently disguised, and neutral mechs all around the area had been welcomed into the chapel but he wasn't about to blow his cover by falling into hysterical fits of laughter at Prowl's performance as a choir 'bot.
Not too far from there, Sunstorm was preaching to a group of Decepticons, possibly in preparation for the first official service.
"And Primus said: YOU listen to me." Sunstorm moved from Whisper to Sideswipe and pointed a finger at him "And YOU obey me!" He then moved to Cyclonus 'And YOU-' Sunstorm slapped Cyclonus on his head, "-treat me with respect!"
Prowl raised an optic ridge, looking at the bewildered Cyclonus rubbing his head. "What is Sunstorm doing?"
Cliffjumper shrugged. "Picking on the holiest ones."