Challenge Entry
Title: After the Rain
Prompt: "April's showers bring May's flowers."
Verse: G1 IDW partly based off the Ongoing and Robots in Disguise series.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1830
Warnings: Heavy spoilers for Ongoing, mild spoilers for Robots In Disguise. If you haven't read them, better stay away if you don't want to be spoiled.
Summary: Prowl thought he had been changed for the better, in reality, he changed for the worse. Much worse.
Notes: For the April/May challenge @ prowlxjazz.
Thanks to nkfloofiepoof for beta reading for me.
He could not remember or even truthfully notice when things went to the proverbial south for him. He thought that planet had somehow managed to change him for what he hoped had been for good. It had not.
It was amazing in an almost insulting way how one single being, one man, had managed to bring out the worst out of him, when he thought that man's kind had finally managed to bring out something good and positive. But it had done just the opposite.
It took one small human girl to bring out the 'hero' within him and took one man to bring out the worst he'd ever been. He alienated himself more than ever, not just in a physical sense but in an ideological and emotional way. He'd always been separated from the thoughts and feelings of others by his own choice, believing this was the way things would be better for all, a self sacrifice for the greater good.
Now...now he was beyond recognition. He'd never feel fury and betrayal this strong and this powerful and Prowl hated himself a little bit for having allowed those 'petty' feelings to govern his spark and even his reason.
Prowl had come to really despise what their stay on Earth and their dealings with humans had done to them. He came to resent even Bumblebee and Optimus for allowing and encouraging the alliance that paved the way for his own personal downfall. Now he trusted no one, not even his closest friends and partner...the few he ever had. He had gone down beyond duty; it was all now a personal vendetta against an enemy not even there, and the more he fought against the ghost of his own failure, the more distance he placed between himself and the rest of the world.
The murder of a human also weighted heavily on the only relationship he'd had where he'd felt understood and wanted despite his shortcomings. He and Jazz had spoken very little and interacted even less since Jazz took a human life in the line of duty, an unnecessary death which Prowl believed Jazz would never quite regret. Jazz had plenty of figurative blood in his hands, and so did Prowl, but he strongly believed Jazz had, without imagining it, triggered the path that lead to discovering Spike Witwicky's actions, which in turn led Prowl to the dangerous path he now wandered.
Jazz had been the only mech he truly felt close to beyond the bonds forged between brothers in arms; he was more than just a friend or a confidant and it took just one human to create a barrier between them. Even with their return to Cybertron, that wall remained firmly in place.
He thought things had finally ended for them. Prowl didn't think the breach between he and Jazz could ever be mended. He knew Jazz stayed on the planet not only because of his duty to Bumblebee but also to keep an optic on him. Even though their relationship had crumbled to pieces Jazz still stayed and watched. In his own way, he still cared, and although he didn't push to regain that closeness with Prowl, he was still around to help and do what he could to make his life a little bit easier.
Instead, Prowl turned over to an unexpected ally. Arcee had pushed her way into his defenses, and as much as he did not appreciate that intrusion, he did value having someone willing to do things his way and aid him when he'd clearly had driven everyone away.
He had no intention of making it anything more than simple cooperation between them. When things turned more intricate and both took their frustrations or needs on each other, it was strictly in the sense of release. Prowl refused to allow anything minimally sentimental or emotional to get in the way again, and Arcee did not need a relationship or affection from him. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement and worked for them.
But even Arcee, of all mechs, could see how Prowl's actions and behavior were becoming increasingly self-destructive, and once in a while, she tried to point out he was going too far for his own well being. He dismissed everything, warning her often to not try to cross the line of what they had.
Arcee was not one for promises, though, and she finally had enough of watching her 'partner in crime' destroy everything and himself in the process. Prowl had no idea what had been said between Arcee and Jazz, but when Jazz did come to him, not as a former lover but as a friend, and pleaded to him to cease all the madness going around them...the neutrals, the manipulation, the plotting and all that was coming as fruit of his actions...Prowl had threatened Jazz to stay out of his way. It had been the last time he saw Jazz well and alive. It also became a decision he unfortunately had lived to regret.
There was another revolt, more neutrals who were enraged by the treatment of a militarized body of government, however temporary. It was all routine for him until Arcee brought with her news he never expected would devastate him the way they did.
"Jazz was amongst the elements sent to control the revolt," She said. "Got out of hand, there were casualties. Jazz was injured..."
All Prowl could hear after that was how Wheeljack couldn't do anything to help them all. If Arcee said anything else, it was lost in the wretched pain his spark was suddenly sinking into. As long as Jazz was alive, he hadn't even thought about the mech or what they had in the past, but hearing the implication Jazz was dead had devastated his spark. After all they had gone through, all the feelings and emotions gone between them...Jazz was still someone for whom he had professed the love he hadn't ever thought he would be able to experience.
The pain and the regret drove him mad. All of a sudden, he was charging through the makeshift streets in search of whoever had ended a life which did not deserve to have an ending like this. He could hear Arcee calling him, but her words were lost to him; Prowl didn't care about anything anymore. He was tired of everything; the war, leaders, sides...he was tired of living. He tore through the fighting crowds; whether he was killing others or not, he didn't know nor care. All he wanted was to end it all...maybe if they managed to bring him down in the process, he would finally obtain what he truly wanted: peace.
---------------------------------------
Prowl became mildly aware as he felt fingertips stroking at the base of the sensory panels on his back. When they returned to Cybertron, everyone took on new alternate modes, and as a result, Prowl lost the wing panels which had become so characteristic amongst his model. He hadn't enjoyed the process; the sensory panels had been something he had developed with through his whole existence. Their sensory feed had become such an important tool for him, he never thought losing them would actually become a contributing factor to his madness. At some point after that cycle, his alt mode was modified to integrate the sensory panels into his frame again to stabilize him.
The tender touch on his wings was not meant to arouse but to soothe, keep him grounded...connected with the present reality. The past few solar cycles often crossed his processor as a blur during the first breem or two whenever he booted up after charging. It was never an enjoyable experience and often left him a little shaky and unsettled; that's when those soothing strokes became extremely helpful in bringing him back to reality.
"Wheeljack said it would take a few more cycles before you actually stop gettin' that feedback when you're bootin'."
Prowl smiled a little to himself, feeling the vibrations of the soft words spoken against his chest plates. He had little recollection of what happened that cycle he flew off the proverbial handle. All he knew was that, by some miracle, he hadn't killed anyone and had only managed to deal minor injuries that diffused the fight.
Bumblebee didn't speak much about the episode, but he always said Prowl's diatribe of raw emotion about the loss of someone beloved managed spur a change in the direction of not only the government's politics but also in the way the citizens of the new Cybertron interacted.
Prowl never asked more about it or why he wasn't sent to the stockade for his deeds. For the first time in pretty much all his life, Prowl didn't want to know all the details. He contented himself with just nodding about it and looking forward. It was a change few had expected, but everyone much preferred this than to have to explain all the details of what transpired then.
"Mmm...should get up for those cubes..."
Prowl could hear the implicit 'but I don't want to move; I'm comfortable here' coming from his berth companion. He tightened the loose embrace he had around the other form and smiled to himself. "There is no rush." He brought a hand up to stroke a horn with a tenderness he had forgotten he was capable of after all these solar cycles.
The words Arcee spoke that day, lost to him in his flurry of madness, were her assurances Jazz would live, if temporarily crippled. Prowl shuddered at the thought that he could have lost this...the chance to have Jazz recharging next to him on the single berth of the apartment they now shared.
He knew many mechs questioned Jazz's decision to come back to Prowl, and Prowl would be one of the first to agree he didn't deserve Jazz after all he did, but Jazz always responded with a small smile and the wisest words Prowl could think of:
"We have all done questionable things. No side is clean of things that skirt the line between good or bad regardless of why we've done it. I think at this point, we all deserve a second chance to start anew."
New Cybertron was still a work in progress; many things still needed to change and adapt to the new times where all could finally reach a true golden age of equality and peace. The Circle of Light had returned to lay down the foundation of that new era, and little by little, they were getting to that goal.
For now, though, all Prowl cared about was enjoying that second chance and leaving behind the ghosts of a planet he didn't quite think he'd ever want to see again; not until his whole self had healed. He was thankful, though, to have someone willing to be there and walk alongside him on the path to recovery and the hope that gave him.
After the rain, the sun would come.
Prompt: "April's showers bring May's flowers."
Verse: G1 IDW partly based off the Ongoing and Robots in Disguise series.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1830
Warnings: Heavy spoilers for Ongoing, mild spoilers for Robots In Disguise. If you haven't read them, better stay away if you don't want to be spoiled.
Summary: Prowl thought he had been changed for the better, in reality, he changed for the worse. Much worse.
Notes: For the April/May challenge @ prowlxjazz.
Thanks to nkfloofiepoof for beta reading for me.
He could not remember or even truthfully notice when things went to the proverbial south for him. He thought that planet had somehow managed to change him for what he hoped had been for good. It had not.
It was amazing in an almost insulting way how one single being, one man, had managed to bring out the worst out of him, when he thought that man's kind had finally managed to bring out something good and positive. But it had done just the opposite.
It took one small human girl to bring out the 'hero' within him and took one man to bring out the worst he'd ever been. He alienated himself more than ever, not just in a physical sense but in an ideological and emotional way. He'd always been separated from the thoughts and feelings of others by his own choice, believing this was the way things would be better for all, a self sacrifice for the greater good.
Now...now he was beyond recognition. He'd never feel fury and betrayal this strong and this powerful and Prowl hated himself a little bit for having allowed those 'petty' feelings to govern his spark and even his reason.
Prowl had come to really despise what their stay on Earth and their dealings with humans had done to them. He came to resent even Bumblebee and Optimus for allowing and encouraging the alliance that paved the way for his own personal downfall. Now he trusted no one, not even his closest friends and partner...the few he ever had. He had gone down beyond duty; it was all now a personal vendetta against an enemy not even there, and the more he fought against the ghost of his own failure, the more distance he placed between himself and the rest of the world.
The murder of a human also weighted heavily on the only relationship he'd had where he'd felt understood and wanted despite his shortcomings. He and Jazz had spoken very little and interacted even less since Jazz took a human life in the line of duty, an unnecessary death which Prowl believed Jazz would never quite regret. Jazz had plenty of figurative blood in his hands, and so did Prowl, but he strongly believed Jazz had, without imagining it, triggered the path that lead to discovering Spike Witwicky's actions, which in turn led Prowl to the dangerous path he now wandered.
Jazz had been the only mech he truly felt close to beyond the bonds forged between brothers in arms; he was more than just a friend or a confidant and it took just one human to create a barrier between them. Even with their return to Cybertron, that wall remained firmly in place.
He thought things had finally ended for them. Prowl didn't think the breach between he and Jazz could ever be mended. He knew Jazz stayed on the planet not only because of his duty to Bumblebee but also to keep an optic on him. Even though their relationship had crumbled to pieces Jazz still stayed and watched. In his own way, he still cared, and although he didn't push to regain that closeness with Prowl, he was still around to help and do what he could to make his life a little bit easier.
Instead, Prowl turned over to an unexpected ally. Arcee had pushed her way into his defenses, and as much as he did not appreciate that intrusion, he did value having someone willing to do things his way and aid him when he'd clearly had driven everyone away.
He had no intention of making it anything more than simple cooperation between them. When things turned more intricate and both took their frustrations or needs on each other, it was strictly in the sense of release. Prowl refused to allow anything minimally sentimental or emotional to get in the way again, and Arcee did not need a relationship or affection from him. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement and worked for them.
But even Arcee, of all mechs, could see how Prowl's actions and behavior were becoming increasingly self-destructive, and once in a while, she tried to point out he was going too far for his own well being. He dismissed everything, warning her often to not try to cross the line of what they had.
Arcee was not one for promises, though, and she finally had enough of watching her 'partner in crime' destroy everything and himself in the process. Prowl had no idea what had been said between Arcee and Jazz, but when Jazz did come to him, not as a former lover but as a friend, and pleaded to him to cease all the madness going around them...the neutrals, the manipulation, the plotting and all that was coming as fruit of his actions...Prowl had threatened Jazz to stay out of his way. It had been the last time he saw Jazz well and alive. It also became a decision he unfortunately had lived to regret.
There was another revolt, more neutrals who were enraged by the treatment of a militarized body of government, however temporary. It was all routine for him until Arcee brought with her news he never expected would devastate him the way they did.
"Jazz was amongst the elements sent to control the revolt," She said. "Got out of hand, there were casualties. Jazz was injured..."
All Prowl could hear after that was how Wheeljack couldn't do anything to help them all. If Arcee said anything else, it was lost in the wretched pain his spark was suddenly sinking into. As long as Jazz was alive, he hadn't even thought about the mech or what they had in the past, but hearing the implication Jazz was dead had devastated his spark. After all they had gone through, all the feelings and emotions gone between them...Jazz was still someone for whom he had professed the love he hadn't ever thought he would be able to experience.
The pain and the regret drove him mad. All of a sudden, he was charging through the makeshift streets in search of whoever had ended a life which did not deserve to have an ending like this. He could hear Arcee calling him, but her words were lost to him; Prowl didn't care about anything anymore. He was tired of everything; the war, leaders, sides...he was tired of living. He tore through the fighting crowds; whether he was killing others or not, he didn't know nor care. All he wanted was to end it all...maybe if they managed to bring him down in the process, he would finally obtain what he truly wanted: peace.
---------------------------------------
Prowl became mildly aware as he felt fingertips stroking at the base of the sensory panels on his back. When they returned to Cybertron, everyone took on new alternate modes, and as a result, Prowl lost the wing panels which had become so characteristic amongst his model. He hadn't enjoyed the process; the sensory panels had been something he had developed with through his whole existence. Their sensory feed had become such an important tool for him, he never thought losing them would actually become a contributing factor to his madness. At some point after that cycle, his alt mode was modified to integrate the sensory panels into his frame again to stabilize him.
The tender touch on his wings was not meant to arouse but to soothe, keep him grounded...connected with the present reality. The past few solar cycles often crossed his processor as a blur during the first breem or two whenever he booted up after charging. It was never an enjoyable experience and often left him a little shaky and unsettled; that's when those soothing strokes became extremely helpful in bringing him back to reality.
"Wheeljack said it would take a few more cycles before you actually stop gettin' that feedback when you're bootin'."
Prowl smiled a little to himself, feeling the vibrations of the soft words spoken against his chest plates. He had little recollection of what happened that cycle he flew off the proverbial handle. All he knew was that, by some miracle, he hadn't killed anyone and had only managed to deal minor injuries that diffused the fight.
Bumblebee didn't speak much about the episode, but he always said Prowl's diatribe of raw emotion about the loss of someone beloved managed spur a change in the direction of not only the government's politics but also in the way the citizens of the new Cybertron interacted.
Prowl never asked more about it or why he wasn't sent to the stockade for his deeds. For the first time in pretty much all his life, Prowl didn't want to know all the details. He contented himself with just nodding about it and looking forward. It was a change few had expected, but everyone much preferred this than to have to explain all the details of what transpired then.
"Mmm...should get up for those cubes..."
Prowl could hear the implicit 'but I don't want to move; I'm comfortable here' coming from his berth companion. He tightened the loose embrace he had around the other form and smiled to himself. "There is no rush." He brought a hand up to stroke a horn with a tenderness he had forgotten he was capable of after all these solar cycles.
The words Arcee spoke that day, lost to him in his flurry of madness, were her assurances Jazz would live, if temporarily crippled. Prowl shuddered at the thought that he could have lost this...the chance to have Jazz recharging next to him on the single berth of the apartment they now shared.
He knew many mechs questioned Jazz's decision to come back to Prowl, and Prowl would be one of the first to agree he didn't deserve Jazz after all he did, but Jazz always responded with a small smile and the wisest words Prowl could think of:
"We have all done questionable things. No side is clean of things that skirt the line between good or bad regardless of why we've done it. I think at this point, we all deserve a second chance to start anew."
New Cybertron was still a work in progress; many things still needed to change and adapt to the new times where all could finally reach a true golden age of equality and peace. The Circle of Light had returned to lay down the foundation of that new era, and little by little, they were getting to that goal.
For now, though, all Prowl cared about was enjoying that second chance and leaving behind the ghosts of a planet he didn't quite think he'd ever want to see again; not until his whole self had healed. He was thankful, though, to have someone willing to be there and walk alongside him on the path to recovery and the hope that gave him.
After the rain, the sun would come.