Updatage!
Title: Sparkless. (17/??)
Rating: R
Warnings: A bit of violence, angst, possible slashy goodness.
Characters: Cutlass, Slipstream, Jazz, Prowl, Trax.
Setting: Movieverse AU.
Summary: In trying to live up to the name of his sire he gave his all, until he lost his own spark. Those who once loved him now called him "sparkless".
Notes: This is an AU bunny that belongs to snugsbunny, it's all her fault, I just happen to be the one writting it. Several concepts seen through the duration of this fic are hers and used with permission. This is a very AU fic so please take with a grain of salt.
Many thanks to mmouse15 for kindly beta reading this for me.
Jazz smiled as he sidestepped, following the lead Lord Prowl was providing as they practiced the choreography Slipstream had provided to him. He felt good and was feeling in such high spirits, sharing dinner and friendly conversation with Lord Prowl. Jazz had found out Lord Prowl was a great help when it came to the most complicated mathematic equations and difficult problems Cutlass had issued as his homework earlier that cycle.
It took him a while to understand Prowl's method to circumvent the lengthier process Cutlass taught him, but once he did, he found it was much easier to understand and solve the problems. Jazz had joked about Lord Prowl's abilities, and the taller black and white mech commented off-hand about the complexity and high development of components of his CPU, in a similar fashion to his carrier, who was known to surpass his bondmate in such fields.
"Ya know, I wonder now how are th'other nobles supposed ta be familiar with this choreography," Jazz tilted his head curiously, never falling off his pace and rhythm with the lord.
"I assume Lady Slipstream either gives lessons to the list of nobles your grandfather has compiled or offers a copy of the melody and the steps' guide." Prowl led Jazz around the expanse of his home's ballroom that had not been used since the cycle his own bonding ceremony took place.
"I suppose so. I wonder who will be the mechs that I'll have ta dance with; grandfather hasn't made any mention about the guests." Jazz frowned at this; he hadn't given too much thought to the guests that would attend the party or the mechs he was supposed to dance with.
"The lord of the shire will be invited, as it's customary, if I recall correctly. If he cannot attend, another high ranking noble will take his place amongst those that'll dance with you." Prowl paused as the melody faded to its end and they stopped their dancing, bowing to each other as was proper. "The list will probably include nobles in the shire with the higher economical, political or social standing. Either those Lord Trax has good relationships with or those he wishes to appeal to."
Jazz headed for the small table with Lord Prowl by his side, picking a cube of energon to replenish his depleted systems after dancing for so long. "That sounds like fun." Jazz didn't bother to mask his displeasure with the prospect.
Prowl sipped his own cube, the corners of his lips curving up lightly in a near imperceptible smile. "Coming of age parties have been traditionally used as means to establish or reaffirm good relationships with other nobles. It's considered an honor to be invited to the party hosted by a noble family of high standing."
Jazz's frown deepened. "So the comin' of age mech is like a bargainin' tool?"
"In a way. The main purpose is to present the coming of age mech to society, unofficially stating the celebrated mech is given full recognition for its actions, free to take its own decisions and make its own choices. It also means it's in the market and can be legally courted. But at another level, it's also a social, political and economical game. Many times it's used to bridge gaps between mechs with bad or poor relationships in order to improve the relationship. Sometimes it's used as a way to garner potential partners of better social or economical standing."
Jazz turned to look at the Lord of Praxus. "Do mechs do that here, too?"
The chevroned mech shook his head, sipping more of his energon. "No. Coming of age celebrations are not a Cybertronian standard. Not all shires and cities hold the tradition for a coming of age party. Given the humble beginnings of Praxus, coming of age parties were a rarity, and more often than not the celebration was truly focused in celebrating the adulthood. Other shires and cities see it as an introduction to the high society."
Jazz nodded slowly, looking at a point in the distance through one of the wide and tall balconies of the ballroom. He mulled over the lord's words, and couldn't help but feel bothered by the ulterior motives behind the celebration, even if he didn't think his grandfather would use his coming of age party to the betterment of his position in the high society ladder, but it still bothered him that something that should celebrate him was an act that has to be carefully planned with the opinion and good relationships of other nobles and socialites kept in mind.
"What's in your mind?" Prowl asked, stepping a little closer to Jazz without invading his personal space.
Jazz looked up to the Lord of Praxus, smiling sheepishly. "Jus' thinkin' about the party, an' how I have ta be on my best behavior given how complex the party really is."
"I understand it's not something you look forward to." Prowl moved away, heading towards one of the balconies as he looked at the city he governed. "In my case, I was introduced to the people of the city shortly after my spark was placed in its protoform. I was seen by my parents' side always after that in any celebration or official function."
Jazz approached the taller mech, cautiously asked a question for which he already had the answer but he wanted to know if the lord would speak about it with him. "So, what happened when ya came of age? No party?"
Prowl heaved a sigh, shaking his head as his optics dimmed, possibly in remembrance. "I didn't have that opportunity."
"May I ask why?" Jazz took a step closer though keeping his distance from the now forlorn looking mech.
Prowl didn't answer for a while and although his face betrayed nothing, Jazz could see the lord's optics dimming even more, perhaps in sadness. "My sire perished unexpectedly before I reached adulthood," Prowl spoke finally, softly. "I had to be upgraded into an adult to assume his duties."
Jazz nodded and remained silent, he wondered if Lord Prowl had ever considered that moment his coming of age or when he reached the actual time frame that took for a mech to be ready for the last upgrade. Finally Jazz decided to break the silence. "I never thanked ya properly fer all ya did for me. Givin' me th'upgrades and convincin' me ta take the best I could get."
Prowl's optics flickered and brightened at Jazz's words, turning his attention at the silver mech. "You have nothing to thank me for. I saw a potential benefit and Director Starscream issued a recommendation for a government bonus in my behalf."
Jazz smiled despite the seemingly cold words. "Yeah, but ya still didn't have to. Ya could have said no, and that'd be the end. Besides you didn't have ta pay for the best upgrades fer me, ya could have still received that bonus even if ya had me upgraded with the most economic option."
Prowl did not answer, he couldn't see a reason for Jazz to thank him, but he had come to know Jazz was as stubborn as they get and that if in Jazz's mind he owed him a 'thank you', nothing Prowl said would deter him.
"So, I'll repeat myself, but thank you for all you've done fer me. My life wouldn't be the same without your help." Jazz smiled widened fractionally.
"You're welcome," Prowl murmured and nodded once, knowing that was what Jazz wanted to hear. As he expected, Jazz's optics brightened and his smile blossomed into a full, happy smile. All too soon, though, the smile faded a little, and Prowl frowned. "Is there something wrong?"
Jazz shook his head, nodding towards the horizon beginning to change its colors. "Time ta go back home."
"Yes, it's becoming late."
"I don't want ta go, though." Jazz gripped the balcony's rail, looking with wistfulness at the city beyond the Lord's estate. "I'm makin' progress back at home, but I still miss Praxus."
Prowl followed Jazz's gaze at the tallest structures that could be seen from the balcony. "You know you're welcome to stay here anytime you wish, provided you inform me and Lord Trax beforehand of your plans."
Jazz laughed softly and nodded, turning to look at the mech next to him. Jazz noted the way the changing light colored and reflected on the lord's face, and for the first time Jazz allowed himself to actually look at Lord Prowl's face, not just his expression. He jumped a little when the face turned to look at him instead.
"I'll have a servant ready to escort you back." Prowl spoke softly, gesturing towards the music player and the pad.
"Thank you." Jazz headed to the nearby table to gather his belongings and subspace them, not really wishing to leave, but knowing he was expected back at home. He turned to face the lord still on the balcony. "Do ya think I can come back tomorrow?"
Prowl nodded. "Just call me after your lessons are over to confirm, but barring any unexpected issues requiring my attention, my schedule should be clear by then."
"Alright, thank you, my Lord." Jazz bowed politely.
The chevroned mech walked away, Jazz falling into step besides him, though still falling a little behind as he was led to the estate's gates where a servant was already awaiting to escort Jazz back. "Thank you again fer everythin', My Lord. I'll see you tomorrow if nothin' comes up."
"Have a pleasant and safe trip, Jazz." Prowl watched the silver mech flash that easy smile at him before transforming, revving his engine playfully before he left with the servant in tow. Prowl lingered there, following the rapidly disappearing shapes until he could no longer see them, turning around to head back to his home.
--------------------
Jazz sighed as he stretched, feeling rested and content after washing himself. He had a light meal already and spoken to his grandfather after his return from Praxus and was ready for recharge. Lying languidly on his berth, Jazz pulled out the diary he had been reading, looking for the digital marker pointing to the latest entry he read, locating the following entry.
'Last night, Prowl and I bonded. I don't know how I should feel about that.'
Jazz frowned a little, re-reading the extremely short entry, finding the length unnerving as well as the tone that could be perceived in those few lines.
Jazz opened the following entry, dated on the same cycle.
'I think the realization has finally sunk for me. I am bonded to Prowl but I admit this is nothing like what I had expected.
I feel an incredibly faint trickle of Prowl's presence but it's so weak it's almost as if it wasn't there. I thought after bonding all this merging of our sparks would be more acute.
I admit I was scared about the bonding, but it seems it's hardly anything to worry about. My parents made it sound like something monumental but that doesn't seem to be the case. I've heard that bondmates can feel each other strongly; I suppose it could be that we've just bonded and the intensity of the feeling is bound to grow as we merge sparks more and more during interfacing.
I still feel somewhat uneasy but I can't pinpoint what is making me feel this way. Nevertheless, I onlined this morning officially as the consort of the Lord of Praxus, Prowl set time aside for us to spend some time together after an emergency meeting he had to attend to.
I don't seem to have many official duties, but Prowl encouraged me to find something of my interest and involve myself. I know I am supposed to involve myself in charities and important social aspects of the city as his carrier and sire did.
This cycle, however, is to enjoy myself with my bondmate. I'll deal with the job of being the Lord's consort tomorrow.'
Jazz closed the entry, selecting the next as he mulled over what he had read. Something felt off about the entry and Lord Prowl's bondmate's words before he read the next entry, dated a few deca-cycles later.
'I don't know what's wrong. All I know is that something is not going well and Prowl is as aware of this as I am.
We bonded several deca-cycles ago but neither of us can feel any strength in the bond we're supposed to share. We both feel something is missing but neither can determine what it is.
It's frustrating because I feel Prowl is expecting something from me, and it seems Prowl feels the same way but neither of us is saying anything. I admit in my case is because I don't really know what I want. Prowl is a busy mech and I've acquired compromises of my own, I'm trying to maintain my life style and add more responsibilities as the Lord of Praxus' consort; but Prowl always makes time for us, as much if not more than we had during our courtship, and yet it feels like it's not enough.
I know Prowl is doing his best and I want to think I am, too, but things are becoming far more stressful, especially since Prowl won't tell me what he wants from me either.
I only hope it's a normal rough patch for newly bonded as we adapt.'
Jazz closed the entry and turned off the diary, feeling deeply disturbed now. It seemed as if in a few deca-cycles the relationship between Lord Prowl and his bondmate, at least on the bondmate's part, had gone to the pits. He wondered if bonding had anything to do with it. Still, Jazz suspected the relationship was doomed one way or another, knowing beforehand the fate of the bondmate and the child they had created.
Not wanting to recharge with such disturbing entry in his processors, Jazz extracted a different book from his subspace, deciding to finish reading that and chase away that feeling of impending disaster left by the diary's entries he had read.
Rating: R
Warnings: A bit of violence, angst, possible slashy goodness.
Characters: Cutlass, Slipstream, Jazz, Prowl, Trax.
Setting: Movieverse AU.
Summary: In trying to live up to the name of his sire he gave his all, until he lost his own spark. Those who once loved him now called him "sparkless".
Notes: This is an AU bunny that belongs to snugsbunny, it's all her fault, I just happen to be the one writting it. Several concepts seen through the duration of this fic are hers and used with permission. This is a very AU fic so please take with a grain of salt.
Many thanks to mmouse15 for kindly beta reading this for me.
Jazz smiled as he sidestepped, following the lead Lord Prowl was providing as they practiced the choreography Slipstream had provided to him. He felt good and was feeling in such high spirits, sharing dinner and friendly conversation with Lord Prowl. Jazz had found out Lord Prowl was a great help when it came to the most complicated mathematic equations and difficult problems Cutlass had issued as his homework earlier that cycle.
It took him a while to understand Prowl's method to circumvent the lengthier process Cutlass taught him, but once he did, he found it was much easier to understand and solve the problems. Jazz had joked about Lord Prowl's abilities, and the taller black and white mech commented off-hand about the complexity and high development of components of his CPU, in a similar fashion to his carrier, who was known to surpass his bondmate in such fields.
"Ya know, I wonder now how are th'other nobles supposed ta be familiar with this choreography," Jazz tilted his head curiously, never falling off his pace and rhythm with the lord.
"I assume Lady Slipstream either gives lessons to the list of nobles your grandfather has compiled or offers a copy of the melody and the steps' guide." Prowl led Jazz around the expanse of his home's ballroom that had not been used since the cycle his own bonding ceremony took place.
"I suppose so. I wonder who will be the mechs that I'll have ta dance with; grandfather hasn't made any mention about the guests." Jazz frowned at this; he hadn't given too much thought to the guests that would attend the party or the mechs he was supposed to dance with.
"The lord of the shire will be invited, as it's customary, if I recall correctly. If he cannot attend, another high ranking noble will take his place amongst those that'll dance with you." Prowl paused as the melody faded to its end and they stopped their dancing, bowing to each other as was proper. "The list will probably include nobles in the shire with the higher economical, political or social standing. Either those Lord Trax has good relationships with or those he wishes to appeal to."
Jazz headed for the small table with Lord Prowl by his side, picking a cube of energon to replenish his depleted systems after dancing for so long. "That sounds like fun." Jazz didn't bother to mask his displeasure with the prospect.
Prowl sipped his own cube, the corners of his lips curving up lightly in a near imperceptible smile. "Coming of age parties have been traditionally used as means to establish or reaffirm good relationships with other nobles. It's considered an honor to be invited to the party hosted by a noble family of high standing."
Jazz's frown deepened. "So the comin' of age mech is like a bargainin' tool?"
"In a way. The main purpose is to present the coming of age mech to society, unofficially stating the celebrated mech is given full recognition for its actions, free to take its own decisions and make its own choices. It also means it's in the market and can be legally courted. But at another level, it's also a social, political and economical game. Many times it's used to bridge gaps between mechs with bad or poor relationships in order to improve the relationship. Sometimes it's used as a way to garner potential partners of better social or economical standing."
Jazz turned to look at the Lord of Praxus. "Do mechs do that here, too?"
The chevroned mech shook his head, sipping more of his energon. "No. Coming of age celebrations are not a Cybertronian standard. Not all shires and cities hold the tradition for a coming of age party. Given the humble beginnings of Praxus, coming of age parties were a rarity, and more often than not the celebration was truly focused in celebrating the adulthood. Other shires and cities see it as an introduction to the high society."
Jazz nodded slowly, looking at a point in the distance through one of the wide and tall balconies of the ballroom. He mulled over the lord's words, and couldn't help but feel bothered by the ulterior motives behind the celebration, even if he didn't think his grandfather would use his coming of age party to the betterment of his position in the high society ladder, but it still bothered him that something that should celebrate him was an act that has to be carefully planned with the opinion and good relationships of other nobles and socialites kept in mind.
"What's in your mind?" Prowl asked, stepping a little closer to Jazz without invading his personal space.
Jazz looked up to the Lord of Praxus, smiling sheepishly. "Jus' thinkin' about the party, an' how I have ta be on my best behavior given how complex the party really is."
"I understand it's not something you look forward to." Prowl moved away, heading towards one of the balconies as he looked at the city he governed. "In my case, I was introduced to the people of the city shortly after my spark was placed in its protoform. I was seen by my parents' side always after that in any celebration or official function."
Jazz approached the taller mech, cautiously asked a question for which he already had the answer but he wanted to know if the lord would speak about it with him. "So, what happened when ya came of age? No party?"
Prowl heaved a sigh, shaking his head as his optics dimmed, possibly in remembrance. "I didn't have that opportunity."
"May I ask why?" Jazz took a step closer though keeping his distance from the now forlorn looking mech.
Prowl didn't answer for a while and although his face betrayed nothing, Jazz could see the lord's optics dimming even more, perhaps in sadness. "My sire perished unexpectedly before I reached adulthood," Prowl spoke finally, softly. "I had to be upgraded into an adult to assume his duties."
Jazz nodded and remained silent, he wondered if Lord Prowl had ever considered that moment his coming of age or when he reached the actual time frame that took for a mech to be ready for the last upgrade. Finally Jazz decided to break the silence. "I never thanked ya properly fer all ya did for me. Givin' me th'upgrades and convincin' me ta take the best I could get."
Prowl's optics flickered and brightened at Jazz's words, turning his attention at the silver mech. "You have nothing to thank me for. I saw a potential benefit and Director Starscream issued a recommendation for a government bonus in my behalf."
Jazz smiled despite the seemingly cold words. "Yeah, but ya still didn't have to. Ya could have said no, and that'd be the end. Besides you didn't have ta pay for the best upgrades fer me, ya could have still received that bonus even if ya had me upgraded with the most economic option."
Prowl did not answer, he couldn't see a reason for Jazz to thank him, but he had come to know Jazz was as stubborn as they get and that if in Jazz's mind he owed him a 'thank you', nothing Prowl said would deter him.
"So, I'll repeat myself, but thank you for all you've done fer me. My life wouldn't be the same without your help." Jazz smiled widened fractionally.
"You're welcome," Prowl murmured and nodded once, knowing that was what Jazz wanted to hear. As he expected, Jazz's optics brightened and his smile blossomed into a full, happy smile. All too soon, though, the smile faded a little, and Prowl frowned. "Is there something wrong?"
Jazz shook his head, nodding towards the horizon beginning to change its colors. "Time ta go back home."
"Yes, it's becoming late."
"I don't want ta go, though." Jazz gripped the balcony's rail, looking with wistfulness at the city beyond the Lord's estate. "I'm makin' progress back at home, but I still miss Praxus."
Prowl followed Jazz's gaze at the tallest structures that could be seen from the balcony. "You know you're welcome to stay here anytime you wish, provided you inform me and Lord Trax beforehand of your plans."
Jazz laughed softly and nodded, turning to look at the mech next to him. Jazz noted the way the changing light colored and reflected on the lord's face, and for the first time Jazz allowed himself to actually look at Lord Prowl's face, not just his expression. He jumped a little when the face turned to look at him instead.
"I'll have a servant ready to escort you back." Prowl spoke softly, gesturing towards the music player and the pad.
"Thank you." Jazz headed to the nearby table to gather his belongings and subspace them, not really wishing to leave, but knowing he was expected back at home. He turned to face the lord still on the balcony. "Do ya think I can come back tomorrow?"
Prowl nodded. "Just call me after your lessons are over to confirm, but barring any unexpected issues requiring my attention, my schedule should be clear by then."
"Alright, thank you, my Lord." Jazz bowed politely.
The chevroned mech walked away, Jazz falling into step besides him, though still falling a little behind as he was led to the estate's gates where a servant was already awaiting to escort Jazz back. "Thank you again fer everythin', My Lord. I'll see you tomorrow if nothin' comes up."
"Have a pleasant and safe trip, Jazz." Prowl watched the silver mech flash that easy smile at him before transforming, revving his engine playfully before he left with the servant in tow. Prowl lingered there, following the rapidly disappearing shapes until he could no longer see them, turning around to head back to his home.
--------------------
Jazz sighed as he stretched, feeling rested and content after washing himself. He had a light meal already and spoken to his grandfather after his return from Praxus and was ready for recharge. Lying languidly on his berth, Jazz pulled out the diary he had been reading, looking for the digital marker pointing to the latest entry he read, locating the following entry.
'Last night, Prowl and I bonded. I don't know how I should feel about that.'
Jazz frowned a little, re-reading the extremely short entry, finding the length unnerving as well as the tone that could be perceived in those few lines.
Jazz opened the following entry, dated on the same cycle.
'I think the realization has finally sunk for me. I am bonded to Prowl but I admit this is nothing like what I had expected.
I feel an incredibly faint trickle of Prowl's presence but it's so weak it's almost as if it wasn't there. I thought after bonding all this merging of our sparks would be more acute.
I admit I was scared about the bonding, but it seems it's hardly anything to worry about. My parents made it sound like something monumental but that doesn't seem to be the case. I've heard that bondmates can feel each other strongly; I suppose it could be that we've just bonded and the intensity of the feeling is bound to grow as we merge sparks more and more during interfacing.
I still feel somewhat uneasy but I can't pinpoint what is making me feel this way. Nevertheless, I onlined this morning officially as the consort of the Lord of Praxus, Prowl set time aside for us to spend some time together after an emergency meeting he had to attend to.
I don't seem to have many official duties, but Prowl encouraged me to find something of my interest and involve myself. I know I am supposed to involve myself in charities and important social aspects of the city as his carrier and sire did.
This cycle, however, is to enjoy myself with my bondmate. I'll deal with the job of being the Lord's consort tomorrow.'
Jazz closed the entry, selecting the next as he mulled over what he had read. Something felt off about the entry and Lord Prowl's bondmate's words before he read the next entry, dated a few deca-cycles later.
'I don't know what's wrong. All I know is that something is not going well and Prowl is as aware of this as I am.
We bonded several deca-cycles ago but neither of us can feel any strength in the bond we're supposed to share. We both feel something is missing but neither can determine what it is.
It's frustrating because I feel Prowl is expecting something from me, and it seems Prowl feels the same way but neither of us is saying anything. I admit in my case is because I don't really know what I want. Prowl is a busy mech and I've acquired compromises of my own, I'm trying to maintain my life style and add more responsibilities as the Lord of Praxus' consort; but Prowl always makes time for us, as much if not more than we had during our courtship, and yet it feels like it's not enough.
I know Prowl is doing his best and I want to think I am, too, but things are becoming far more stressful, especially since Prowl won't tell me what he wants from me either.
I only hope it's a normal rough patch for newly bonded as we adapt.'
Jazz closed the entry and turned off the diary, feeling deeply disturbed now. It seemed as if in a few deca-cycles the relationship between Lord Prowl and his bondmate, at least on the bondmate's part, had gone to the pits. He wondered if bonding had anything to do with it. Still, Jazz suspected the relationship was doomed one way or another, knowing beforehand the fate of the bondmate and the child they had created.
Not wanting to recharge with such disturbing entry in his processors, Jazz extracted a different book from his subspace, deciding to finish reading that and chase away that feeling of impending disaster left by the diary's entries he had read.