I swear I'll post a real chapter soon -and those challenge prompts too!
Title: Honey, Prime, I shrunk the Kids Officers!
Chapter: Interlude - 'Cause this is Thriller, Thriller Crack, Crack Night.
Rating: PG Humor.
Pairings: Prowl x Jazz, Ironhide x Ratchet, Hound x Mirage, Inferno x Red Alert, Sunstreaker x Bluestreak.
Summary: When one of Wheeljack's experiments blows up, the consequences take their toll on the Ark's crew.
Notes: This isn't really in between any chapters, it's just a monstruosity triggered by too much You Tube at night.
Not beta'ed, so feel free to correct me!
"No, Jazz"
The saboteur's lip components curved in the evilest smile Ratchet had ever seen.
"I'm telling you it's not happening."
Jazz's smile just grew wider. Ratchet had to admit right there and then he was scared. In fact, he was terrified.
"Prime's never going to allow it!"
"Wanna bet?" the Porsche bore a smile that was absolute, unquestionable evil. The CMO took a couple of steps back, literally hiding behind Ironhide's frame.
"You are insane, Jazz. Completely Insane." Ironhide chuckled and rocked the sparkling Perceptor on his arms, moving a little to 'shield' his mate from the Porsche's evil smile.
"Aw, c'mon! It'll be fun, an' they could use the entertainment!" Jazz grinned and nodded his head towards Perceptor and then the baby Datsun that was contently nestled on his arms.
"But why me?!" Ratchet groaned heavily as he began to arrange his tools around to do anything to keep him from looking back to Jazz.
"Ironhide's doin' it, too!"
"Give it up, Ratchet. You know we'll end up doin' it, anyway." the red van chuckled softly at the exasperated growl coming from the medic.
"Fine! But I want to be behind Ironhide." the ambulance shook his head and continued to arrange instruments on his trays before he headed for a storage unit where he retrieved a few energon cubes for Perceptor and Prowl.
"Why do you wanna be behind me?" Ironhide raised an optic ridge and accepted the cube his mate handed to him, moving the sparkling Perceptor to rest better against his chest to feed the cube to the red sparkling.
"Ya'll figure it out when we start rehearsin', 'Hide, my friend." Jazz subspaced the stash handed to him, offering one of the cubes to his stuck-as-sparkling mate. "Now, I just gotta go an' con Prime to join in. See ya guys 'round!"
"I can't believe we're going to do this." the medic groaned and rubbed his face plates.
"He's had us to do worse things before, anyway." the weapons specialist chuckled and bounced Perceptor on his arms, smiling at the happy clicking sounds coming from the sparkling.
"Nothing in this universe can be worse than this, Ironhide. Believe me."
---------------------
"Ohhhh brother!" Blaster whistled as Jazz discussed his 'plan' with him. "You're going to traumatize the sparklings with that, man."
"It's not -that- bad." the saboteur laughed softly and patted his friend's arm, ducking every now and then Prowl's door wings as he moved around the table putting together data pads altered to form colored blocks.
"Fine, fine. I admit I'm looking forward to see what show you're going to put up." Blaster laughed softly, watching that perverse smile spread on Jazz's lip components once more. "I'll have Rewind and Eject delivering the tracks once I have them ready."
"Thanks, Blaster." the saboteur stood and stretched before he picked up the baby Datsun. "Time t'go, Prowler." the sparkling Prowl tilted his head curiously, dropping the block on his little hand as Jazz gathered him on his arms.
---------------
"How in the Pit did we let him to get away with this?" Inferno asked as he bent forward, trying to imitate the awkward position Jazz had instructed them to take.
"Because: a) He's the third in command. b) His mate's the second in command. c) He's Jazz." Trailbreaker laughed softly as he watched over the Sparklings with Wheeljack, since Blaster was currently busy providing the audio track for Jazz's little plot.
"Now I know why Ratchet wanted to be behind me." Ironhide blushed as he tried to balance his upper body to avoid prompting his backside too high up.
"Hey, if I'm going to do this at least I want to have a nice view before my optics." the medic grinned and demonstrated he had more dancing prowess than Ironhide, having a much easier time reaching the exact position Jazz had instructed them to take.
"Less chattin', more dancin'!" the saboteur clapped his hands to get their attention. "Prime, you're bendin' too much! Straighten up a little!"
"Is this really part of the choreography?" Optimus Prime shifted his shoulders a bit and straightened up, trying to get his position right.
"Absolutely! Eject, Rewind, please, demonstrate the next steps."
The cassette twins nodded and assumed the same position the other vict-- er, Autobots, were on while Blaster began to play the track once more.
"You gotta be kiddin' me! I don't want Prime's aft on my face!" Ironhide complained almost immediately.
"Shut up, Ironhide." Ratchet slapped the weapon's specialist's back gently. "If it's any consolation, when we do that turn, I'll be the one in front of you."
"I'm the only one that is hoping the sparklings can't understand what they're saying?" Trailbreaker asked and shook his head, looking down at Mirage, Prowl and Sideswipe who were sitting next to him and Steeljaw, playing with more blocks.
"If they're even paying them attention." Wheeljack nodded and tried to stay still while Perceptor and Red Alert tugged on the lights on each side of his head, making happy clicking sounds every time his lights turned on.
"Keep it down, ya guys! We're busy here!" Jazz glared at the current sparkling sitters before he drove his attention back to the group of Autobots before him. "All right everyone, let's see how ya do it up to this part. Let's hear it, Blaster!"
Hound, Sunstreaker, and Ironhide retook their positions behind Optimus Prime while Inferno, Bluestreak, and Ratchet moved to the back once more.
"Move those hips a li'l more, Prime. Ya too, Ironhide! Inferno, ya're supposed t'toss your head back!" Jazz instructed the group of dancing Autobots, ignoring Sunstreaker's colorful language about Bluestreak's door wings slapping him. "Okay, Okay. Ratchet, Bluestreak and Inferno, take two steps back to prevent collisions again."
By the time the group of dancing 'bots had reached a 'somewhat satisfactory' performance, most of the sparklings were already deeply in recharge. All but Mirage who refused to recharge if he wasn't on Hound's arms.
"That's it for today. We'll have rehearsal again tomorrow and I hope ya guys put more spark into it this time!" the saboteur smiled to himself and mouthed mockingly the many expletives Sunstreaker was uttering in Cybertronian and English alike. "Thanks for watchin' over the sparklin's, guys." Jazz smiled and picked his baby Datsun gently, watching with amusement as Prowl, still in recharge, made himself comfortable on his arms.
"It's no problem! I think Wheeljack needed the break." Trailbreaker nodded and held the still online Mirage to Hound, the baby Ligier immediately curled against the Jeep, clicking softly before his optics dimmed tiredly.
Inferno and Sunstreaker picked their respective sparklings and made their way out with Bluestreak talking about his sore joints.
"Seriously, Prime. How can he get you to agree to all this stuff?" Ironhide rubbed his neck while Ratchet gathered Perceptor on his arms.
"Have you tried to say no to Jazz?" Optimus asked, leaving the room alongside the remaining 'bots.
"Uh, not often, I don't think."
"Try. Then tell me how long can you stand 'The song that never ends'." Prime patted Ironhide's shoulder when the red and gray mech raised an optic ridge. "My record's four joors."
---------------------
Several days later, the Autobots that weren't on patrol duty gathered outside of the Ark, setting up some small fires to provide some lightning for the upcoming performance which was slatted to take place outside under the clear, dark sky.
Once more, Trailbreaker and Wheeljack were charged with the care of the sparklings who enjoyed a 'nap' earlier on the day to allow them to be fully online for the performance.
"Before we get ta the main event we'll have a li'l warmin' up!" Jazz announced and waved to their 'audience' to get the 'event' started. Blaster began to play some music, Sunstreaker picked his sparkling twin and took him to the area that served as 'stage', dancing around with the sparkling. Jazz, Ratchet, Hound and Inferno followed his lead. The simulated dancing seemed to amuse the sparklings enough to prompt Sideswipe and Red Alert to bounce on their respective 'dancing partner's' arms.
Mirage and Perceptor began to sway their heads from side to side happily, not really following the rhythm of the music. Prowl just looked around confused before he turned his head back to look at Jazz. "Gonna have t'train ya again, Baby." the saboteur grinned and kissed Prowl's little nose and took his little hand to move it to the rhythm of the music. Jazz laughed softly when the sparkling began to kick his legs a bit and fluttered his door wings in the closest he could muster to attempting to dance or follow the music.
After the little dance with the sparklings, Jazz instructed the other Autobots to take their positions, leaving the sparklings back under Trailbreaker's and Wheeljack's care. Jazz had selected an open area conveniently flanked by a couple of large rocks, which worked perfectly for his planned choreography.
Blaster began to play the chosen track, Jazz, Eject and Rewind positioned themselves relatively far from the group of spectators, but close enough to be seen still without trouble. Jazz led dance with Eject and Rewind mimicking his movements, the trio formed a triangle shape of sorts in their dance.
The sparklings were completely captivated by the music and the dancing. Sideswipe was bouncing on Trailbreaker's lap with a wide smile, looking ready to jump to join the dancing trio.
Suddenly, the music stopped and Jazz, Eject and Rewind crouched. Optimus Prime, came walking from around one of the rock formations in slow, tumbling steps, his body was lurching and his optics looked blank. His arms were limp, and his engine revved irregularly. For all intents and purposes, he was a walking dead mech. He stopped midway to the front row where the sparklings looked at the large Autobot with wide optics. Ironhide and Ratchet came from around the other Rock moving in the same way Prime had, stopping behind him. Sunstreaker, Inferno, Bluestreak and Inferno came from the other side, making their way to stand behind Prime.
If the sparklings were scared or impressed at all it was hard to tell, they were quiet and their optics were locked with the group of Autobots that were acting so oddly. Not even the snickers or barely repressed laughter of the other adult Autobots behind seemed to distract the sparklings.
Suddenly, the music began to play again and the group leaded by Prime began to move along, slowly at first, taking their positions before they moved more freely and fluidly.
Trailbreaker couldn't hold it back anymore and laughed loudly, his whole frame shacking, Cliffjumper was trying and failing to tone down his own nearly hysterical laugher as he watched the bearer of the matrix lead Ironhide, Ratchet, Sunstreaker, Bluestreak, Hound and Inferno in the choreography of Thriller.
When the lyrics started again Jazz, Eject and Rewind stood up and joined the choreography until the song finally ended, with Ironhide, Sunstreaker and Hound leaping towards their audience, knocking off the unsuspecting Autobots next and behind Trailbreaker and Wheeljack. Sideswipe was smiling as much as his face plates would let him and he was bouncing on his rear again, and was soon followed by the other sparklings. Even Prowl was rocking back and forth with excitement even if his expression was still showing confusion.
"Judging by their reaction, I'd say this performance was a success." Optimus Prime chuckled softly and watched the excited sparklings that were smiling and clapping.
"Aye!" Jazz grinned and picked Prowl up and nuzzled the sparkling. "Liked the show, Prowler?" the fluttering of that pair of little door wings was all the answer he needed.
----------------------
"I don't think my optics can stand this for much longer. Laserbeak, erase that record!" Megatron rubbed his forehead in exasperation and left the room. He definitely didn't want to see any more of Prime's cod piece shaking in ways he had thought impossible.
"How come we never do that kind of stuff?" Skywarp crossed his arms and watched the record Laserbeak had taken of the Autobots' performance.
"Because Megatron would sooner be shot than allow us to dance, let alone partake on it?" Thundercracker answered.
"Sucks to be us. That looks like fun." Rumble sighed and swayed his head to the melody that was recorded along with the video.
Starscream moved closer to their communications officer, "Soundwave, I'd like to get a copy of this before Laserbeak erases the tape." Soundwave stared for several moments at the dark faced Seeker. "Copy: Really required?"
"Let's just say it's for my personal collection." the seeker shrugged and looked back to the projected video. Soundwave decided he really, really didn't want to know what uses Starscream had in mind for that tape.
Chapter: Interlude - 'Cause this is Thriller, Thriller Crack, Crack Night.
Rating: PG Humor.
Pairings: Prowl x Jazz, Ironhide x Ratchet, Hound x Mirage, Inferno x Red Alert, Sunstreaker x Bluestreak.
Summary: When one of Wheeljack's experiments blows up, the consequences take their toll on the Ark's crew.
Notes: This isn't really in between any chapters, it's just a monstruosity triggered by too much You Tube at night.
Not beta'ed, so feel free to correct me!
"No, Jazz"
The saboteur's lip components curved in the evilest smile Ratchet had ever seen.
"I'm telling you it's not happening."
Jazz's smile just grew wider. Ratchet had to admit right there and then he was scared. In fact, he was terrified.
"Prime's never going to allow it!"
"Wanna bet?" the Porsche bore a smile that was absolute, unquestionable evil. The CMO took a couple of steps back, literally hiding behind Ironhide's frame.
"You are insane, Jazz. Completely Insane." Ironhide chuckled and rocked the sparkling Perceptor on his arms, moving a little to 'shield' his mate from the Porsche's evil smile.
"Aw, c'mon! It'll be fun, an' they could use the entertainment!" Jazz grinned and nodded his head towards Perceptor and then the baby Datsun that was contently nestled on his arms.
"But why me?!" Ratchet groaned heavily as he began to arrange his tools around to do anything to keep him from looking back to Jazz.
"Ironhide's doin' it, too!"
"Give it up, Ratchet. You know we'll end up doin' it, anyway." the red van chuckled softly at the exasperated growl coming from the medic.
"Fine! But I want to be behind Ironhide." the ambulance shook his head and continued to arrange instruments on his trays before he headed for a storage unit where he retrieved a few energon cubes for Perceptor and Prowl.
"Why do you wanna be behind me?" Ironhide raised an optic ridge and accepted the cube his mate handed to him, moving the sparkling Perceptor to rest better against his chest to feed the cube to the red sparkling.
"Ya'll figure it out when we start rehearsin', 'Hide, my friend." Jazz subspaced the stash handed to him, offering one of the cubes to his stuck-as-sparkling mate. "Now, I just gotta go an' con Prime to join in. See ya guys 'round!"
"I can't believe we're going to do this." the medic groaned and rubbed his face plates.
"He's had us to do worse things before, anyway." the weapons specialist chuckled and bounced Perceptor on his arms, smiling at the happy clicking sounds coming from the sparkling.
"Nothing in this universe can be worse than this, Ironhide. Believe me."
---------------------
"Ohhhh brother!" Blaster whistled as Jazz discussed his 'plan' with him. "You're going to traumatize the sparklings with that, man."
"It's not -that- bad." the saboteur laughed softly and patted his friend's arm, ducking every now and then Prowl's door wings as he moved around the table putting together data pads altered to form colored blocks.
"Fine, fine. I admit I'm looking forward to see what show you're going to put up." Blaster laughed softly, watching that perverse smile spread on Jazz's lip components once more. "I'll have Rewind and Eject delivering the tracks once I have them ready."
"Thanks, Blaster." the saboteur stood and stretched before he picked up the baby Datsun. "Time t'go, Prowler." the sparkling Prowl tilted his head curiously, dropping the block on his little hand as Jazz gathered him on his arms.
---------------
"How in the Pit did we let him to get away with this?" Inferno asked as he bent forward, trying to imitate the awkward position Jazz had instructed them to take.
"Because: a) He's the third in command. b) His mate's the second in command. c) He's Jazz." Trailbreaker laughed softly as he watched over the Sparklings with Wheeljack, since Blaster was currently busy providing the audio track for Jazz's little plot.
"Now I know why Ratchet wanted to be behind me." Ironhide blushed as he tried to balance his upper body to avoid prompting his backside too high up.
"Hey, if I'm going to do this at least I want to have a nice view before my optics." the medic grinned and demonstrated he had more dancing prowess than Ironhide, having a much easier time reaching the exact position Jazz had instructed them to take.
"Less chattin', more dancin'!" the saboteur clapped his hands to get their attention. "Prime, you're bendin' too much! Straighten up a little!"
"Is this really part of the choreography?" Optimus Prime shifted his shoulders a bit and straightened up, trying to get his position right.
"Absolutely! Eject, Rewind, please, demonstrate the next steps."
The cassette twins nodded and assumed the same position the other vict-- er, Autobots, were on while Blaster began to play the track once more.
"You gotta be kiddin' me! I don't want Prime's aft on my face!" Ironhide complained almost immediately.
"Shut up, Ironhide." Ratchet slapped the weapon's specialist's back gently. "If it's any consolation, when we do that turn, I'll be the one in front of you."
"I'm the only one that is hoping the sparklings can't understand what they're saying?" Trailbreaker asked and shook his head, looking down at Mirage, Prowl and Sideswipe who were sitting next to him and Steeljaw, playing with more blocks.
"If they're even paying them attention." Wheeljack nodded and tried to stay still while Perceptor and Red Alert tugged on the lights on each side of his head, making happy clicking sounds every time his lights turned on.
"Keep it down, ya guys! We're busy here!" Jazz glared at the current sparkling sitters before he drove his attention back to the group of Autobots before him. "All right everyone, let's see how ya do it up to this part. Let's hear it, Blaster!"
Hound, Sunstreaker, and Ironhide retook their positions behind Optimus Prime while Inferno, Bluestreak, and Ratchet moved to the back once more.
"Move those hips a li'l more, Prime. Ya too, Ironhide! Inferno, ya're supposed t'toss your head back!" Jazz instructed the group of dancing Autobots, ignoring Sunstreaker's colorful language about Bluestreak's door wings slapping him. "Okay, Okay. Ratchet, Bluestreak and Inferno, take two steps back to prevent collisions again."
By the time the group of dancing 'bots had reached a 'somewhat satisfactory' performance, most of the sparklings were already deeply in recharge. All but Mirage who refused to recharge if he wasn't on Hound's arms.
"That's it for today. We'll have rehearsal again tomorrow and I hope ya guys put more spark into it this time!" the saboteur smiled to himself and mouthed mockingly the many expletives Sunstreaker was uttering in Cybertronian and English alike. "Thanks for watchin' over the sparklin's, guys." Jazz smiled and picked his baby Datsun gently, watching with amusement as Prowl, still in recharge, made himself comfortable on his arms.
"It's no problem! I think Wheeljack needed the break." Trailbreaker nodded and held the still online Mirage to Hound, the baby Ligier immediately curled against the Jeep, clicking softly before his optics dimmed tiredly.
Inferno and Sunstreaker picked their respective sparklings and made their way out with Bluestreak talking about his sore joints.
"Seriously, Prime. How can he get you to agree to all this stuff?" Ironhide rubbed his neck while Ratchet gathered Perceptor on his arms.
"Have you tried to say no to Jazz?" Optimus asked, leaving the room alongside the remaining 'bots.
"Uh, not often, I don't think."
"Try. Then tell me how long can you stand 'The song that never ends'." Prime patted Ironhide's shoulder when the red and gray mech raised an optic ridge. "My record's four joors."
---------------------
Several days later, the Autobots that weren't on patrol duty gathered outside of the Ark, setting up some small fires to provide some lightning for the upcoming performance which was slatted to take place outside under the clear, dark sky.
Once more, Trailbreaker and Wheeljack were charged with the care of the sparklings who enjoyed a 'nap' earlier on the day to allow them to be fully online for the performance.
"Before we get ta the main event we'll have a li'l warmin' up!" Jazz announced and waved to their 'audience' to get the 'event' started. Blaster began to play some music, Sunstreaker picked his sparkling twin and took him to the area that served as 'stage', dancing around with the sparkling. Jazz, Ratchet, Hound and Inferno followed his lead. The simulated dancing seemed to amuse the sparklings enough to prompt Sideswipe and Red Alert to bounce on their respective 'dancing partner's' arms.
Mirage and Perceptor began to sway their heads from side to side happily, not really following the rhythm of the music. Prowl just looked around confused before he turned his head back to look at Jazz. "Gonna have t'train ya again, Baby." the saboteur grinned and kissed Prowl's little nose and took his little hand to move it to the rhythm of the music. Jazz laughed softly when the sparkling began to kick his legs a bit and fluttered his door wings in the closest he could muster to attempting to dance or follow the music.
After the little dance with the sparklings, Jazz instructed the other Autobots to take their positions, leaving the sparklings back under Trailbreaker's and Wheeljack's care. Jazz had selected an open area conveniently flanked by a couple of large rocks, which worked perfectly for his planned choreography.
Blaster began to play the chosen track, Jazz, Eject and Rewind positioned themselves relatively far from the group of spectators, but close enough to be seen still without trouble. Jazz led dance with Eject and Rewind mimicking his movements, the trio formed a triangle shape of sorts in their dance.
The sparklings were completely captivated by the music and the dancing. Sideswipe was bouncing on Trailbreaker's lap with a wide smile, looking ready to jump to join the dancing trio.
Suddenly, the music stopped and Jazz, Eject and Rewind crouched. Optimus Prime, came walking from around one of the rock formations in slow, tumbling steps, his body was lurching and his optics looked blank. His arms were limp, and his engine revved irregularly. For all intents and purposes, he was a walking dead mech. He stopped midway to the front row where the sparklings looked at the large Autobot with wide optics. Ironhide and Ratchet came from around the other Rock moving in the same way Prime had, stopping behind him. Sunstreaker, Inferno, Bluestreak and Inferno came from the other side, making their way to stand behind Prime.
If the sparklings were scared or impressed at all it was hard to tell, they were quiet and their optics were locked with the group of Autobots that were acting so oddly. Not even the snickers or barely repressed laughter of the other adult Autobots behind seemed to distract the sparklings.
Suddenly, the music began to play again and the group leaded by Prime began to move along, slowly at first, taking their positions before they moved more freely and fluidly.
Trailbreaker couldn't hold it back anymore and laughed loudly, his whole frame shacking, Cliffjumper was trying and failing to tone down his own nearly hysterical laugher as he watched the bearer of the matrix lead Ironhide, Ratchet, Sunstreaker, Bluestreak, Hound and Inferno in the choreography of Thriller.
When the lyrics started again Jazz, Eject and Rewind stood up and joined the choreography until the song finally ended, with Ironhide, Sunstreaker and Hound leaping towards their audience, knocking off the unsuspecting Autobots next and behind Trailbreaker and Wheeljack. Sideswipe was smiling as much as his face plates would let him and he was bouncing on his rear again, and was soon followed by the other sparklings. Even Prowl was rocking back and forth with excitement even if his expression was still showing confusion.
"Judging by their reaction, I'd say this performance was a success." Optimus Prime chuckled softly and watched the excited sparklings that were smiling and clapping.
"Aye!" Jazz grinned and picked Prowl up and nuzzled the sparkling. "Liked the show, Prowler?" the fluttering of that pair of little door wings was all the answer he needed.
----------------------
"I don't think my optics can stand this for much longer. Laserbeak, erase that record!" Megatron rubbed his forehead in exasperation and left the room. He definitely didn't want to see any more of Prime's cod piece shaking in ways he had thought impossible.
"How come we never do that kind of stuff?" Skywarp crossed his arms and watched the record Laserbeak had taken of the Autobots' performance.
"Because Megatron would sooner be shot than allow us to dance, let alone partake on it?" Thundercracker answered.
"Sucks to be us. That looks like fun." Rumble sighed and swayed his head to the melody that was recorded along with the video.
Starscream moved closer to their communications officer, "Soundwave, I'd like to get a copy of this before Laserbeak erases the tape." Soundwave stared for several moments at the dark faced Seeker. "Copy: Really required?"
"Let's just say it's for my personal collection." the seeker shrugged and looked back to the projected video. Soundwave decided he really, really didn't want to know what uses Starscream had in mind for that tape.