Title: Sparkless. (6/??)
Rating: R
Warnings: A bit of violence, angst, possible slashy goodness.
Characters: Prowl, Jazz.
Setting: Movieverse AU.
Summary: In trying to live up to the name of his sire he gave his all, until he lost his own spark. Those who once loved him now called him "sparkless".
Notes: This is an AU bunny that belongs to
snugsbunny, it's all her fault, I just happen to be the one writting it. Several concepts seen through the duration of this fic are hers and used with permission. This is a very AU fic so please take with a grain of salt.
Many thanks to
mmouse15 for kindly beta reading this for me.
It had been too long since the last time Prowl had actually sat down in his home's large and luxurious dining room. He reserved the dining room for the visits of lords and nobility from neighbor shires and the occassional visit of emisaries from Iacon, but otherwise the ample room was unused.
His own sire didn't favor the dining room too much during Prowl's sparklinghood, and only after he entered his youngling stage were their meals served in the large table. Prowl could remember the times his sire sat in the head of the table, his carrier to his sire's left and himself sitting to his right. He did remember the patient smile of his sire while his carrier taught him the proper table manners. Prowl never thought as a sparkling there could be so many ways to eat and drink energon, but his carrier proved him wrong.
Prowl didn't receive many visitors now that warranted the use of the dining room, but every now and then he would take time to inspect certain rooms in his large home, making sure everything was spotless and ready for use in case it was necessary. This was one such time. As he inspected the room, Jazz followed behind him. "The table was polished recently?" the Lord of Praxus asked absently as he brushed claw tipped fingers along the surface.
"Two cycles ago, I believe." Jazz looked around the large room, admiring the large sculptures and pillars carved out of crystals in different shades and colors. His optics kept darting towards the far wall at the head of the table where a long cloth covered a part of the wall. "Is somethin' there that needs ta be fixed, my lord? I'll have the mantainance crew ready in a few breems if necessary."
Prowl turned to look at Jazz, a questioning look in his optics until he followed Jazz's gaze. "There's nothing wrong there, Jazz. It's a portrait."
"A portrait?" Jazz couldn't help but ask, wondering if the portrait was of Lord Prowl's former bondmate and if that was the reason it was covered.
"Of my sires and myself as a newly sparked." Prowl moved towards the head of the table, reaching up to grab a fistful of the cover, pulling it away swiftly, revealing a huge canvas depicting three mechs standing in typical family portrait. Jazz couldn't help but make a sound of wonder at the portrait. There was no doubt the adult mechs had to be Prowl's creators, the former Lord of Praxus stood tall and regal with a proud but kind smile on his lips, and an arm wrapped around his mate's waist. The golden and silver mech was nearly identical to Prowl save for the color patterns, and Jazz could easily see they were inherited from the striking mech standing next to the former lord, smiling beatifically. In the mech's arms rested a seemingly tiny sparkling, black and white with a stubby little chevron of a vibrant red, tiny clawed fingers grabbed tightly at the ornate blanket wrapped around his body. He was the very essence of innocence and a true embodiment of the love between his progenitors the artist had masterfully captured.
Jazz couldn't help but think the Lord of Praxus had been an incredibly cute sparkling. It was hard to look at that sparkling and then look at the mech Jazz was standing close to. The big, dim optics of the sparkling glowed with a happiness only a new born in the arms of loving parents could demonstrate. Those were warm and beautiful optics, completely the opposite of the icy optics of the adult mech Jazz knew. "They were very handsome," Jazz murmured softly, feeling the irrisistible need to break the silence.
Prowl nodded, locking his optics on the faces of his sire and carrier. "My sire used to claim there was no mech in Cybertron that could compare to the beauty of my carrier."
"Your sire was very handsome, too." the silver mech covered his mouth after realizing what he'd said, afraid his words could offend the Lord.
Prowl merely nodded his agreement. "I was told many mechs desired my father before and after he bonded, but he only had optics for my carrier."
"That sounds very romantic," Jazz murmured as he turned his gaze back at the sparkling, a smile spreading through his lips upon realizing the former Lord's hand was resting on one of Prowl's carrier's hands over his fine blankets. "I have seen a lotta sparklin's but that's one of the cutest I've seen."
Prowl turned to look at Jazz quirking an optic ridge at the silver mech's words. Jazz jumped back a little, holding his hands up and shaking his head nervously. "I don't mean anythin' offensive, my lord!"
"Don't be afraid to speak your mind, Jazz." Prowl turned to look back at the painting, finally looking back at himself as a sparkling. "I suppose you could say I was."
Jazz nodded hessitantly, despite Prowl's reassurance he could say what he thought, the warnings he received at the beginning of his time working for the Lord of Praxus still ringing in his audios. "I wish I had any pictures of myself as a sparklin'. I must have been real tiny." Jazz joked. Although he had grown quite a bit thanks to his final upgrade, he was still way below average for a mech of his specifications.
Prowl turned his glance away from the painting, sparing a sideglance at Jazz before pulling back the chair on the head of the table, sitting down and shifting to make himself comfortable, the seat crafted to suit the needs of a mech with wings such as his. "I'll be taking my meal here today." Prowl turned an expectant glance at Jazz.
"Right away, my lord." the silver mech bowed and headed towards the kitchen to get the lord's energon, arranging it carefully in the tray to the lord's liking.
"Isn't it early for his Lordship's energon?" the old mech asked as he watched Jazz fill the decanter with the mid grade Prowl favored.
"Yeah, but he jus' sat on the dinin' room and said he'd be takin' his energon there." the silver mech shrugged. The old mech's gasp had Jazz looking up worriedly. "Yer okay?"
The mech shook his head to clear his thoughts and nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." he reached for a second glass, depositing it in the tray along with the one Jazz already placed next to the decanter. At Jazz's questioning glance the mech patted his shoulder and smiled. "You must always bring two glasses when Lord Prowl dines in the great dining room."
"Why is that?"
The mech hummed softly in thought. "Lord Prowl rarely uses that room to take his meals, he usually does it only if he has company or is expecting a guest."
"Should serve a bigger portion then." Jazz began to pile more solid energon on the plate. "Though, it's odd because I don't remember any mention of someone comin' ta see Lord Prowl."
The old mech shruged and helped to arrange the cubes, covering the plate once they added more energon. "Remember Lord Prowl has private comm-link lines, Jazz. It could be an emergency meeting with someone important."
"Yeah, true. Alright, I better hurry." the silver mech picked the tray and headed back to the dining room, bowing his head apologetically as he set the tray down before the black and white lord. "I'm sorry fer th' delay, my lord."
"It's fine." Prowl gestured to the seat at his right. "Please, have a seat."
Jazz stopped cold, mentally congratulating himself about not dropping the dish's cover. "My lord?" he asked, uncertain.
"Sit down, Jazz. I would like to have your company while I refuel," Prowl replied nonchalantly. Jazz stared dumbly at the energon cubes and glasses, setting the cover aside and taking the appointed seat.
Prowl picked a pair of long needle-like tools, offering them to Jazz. The silver mech accepted the tools and watched the Lord of Praxus pick a second set, holding them at a certain angle, picking one of the small cubes with the tips."Help yourself."
Jazz tried to follow Prowl's lead, but his precarious hold on the instruments did little to aid him in picking any of the cubes, dropping the small energon confection less than a click after managing to pick it up. He tried this a few times before a sound of frustration and embarassment left his vocalizer and he began to consider just spearing through the cube, only to remind himself he was dining with the Lord of Praxus himself and that would be terrible manners.
Prowl was aware of Jazz's struggle and quietly brought his hand back into Jazz's field of view, casually angling his hand to allow the silver mech to see the way his fingers were positioned to hold the sticks. Jazz observed carefully the way Prowl held the sticks and after some struggling he managed to keep a firm hold of the items. Without a single word Prowl moved his hand to pick one of the cubes, doing it slowly to allow Jazz to see how to do it himself. The silver mech smiled a little to himself as he copied what the chevroned mech had done, able to pick and hold firmly one of the confections, bringing it to his mouth, taking a small bite of the energon.
Prowl nodded his approval and reached for the decanter, carefully filling each glass halfway, setting Jazz's down to his left. Jazz canted his head curiously at the amount of energon poured but said nothing. "When you refuel in someone's company it's impolite to fill the glass completely. It means you want your guest to leave already, while a glass filled halfway is an invitation to stay and share more."
Jazz made a soft sound of wonder, taking the glass with both hands and taking a small sip. They continued refueling in silence for a while. "May I ask how long you lived in the orphanage?" Prowl asked, breaking the silence.
"Since I was a sparklin'. I was old enough ta talk an' walk, but little else. Was there pretty much all my life." Jazz replied nonchalantly, taking another ship from his glass, bowing his head in thanks when Prowl served more of the mid grade, smiling to himself as he noted Prowl kept the glass only halfway full.
"You didn't meet your progenitors, then?"
"I did, but I don't remember much 'bout them." Jazz tilted his head, seeming as if he was trying to remember. "I can remember my sire a little more. I don't think I saw my carrier often, last time I saw my carrier was when I was dropped at the orphanage."
Prowl frowned. "Your carrier left you in the orphanage?"
"Mech didn't want me, I suppose." Jazz shrugged and picked another cube, growing more and more comfortable in the lord's company. "I remember little 'bout my sire, but I know he loved me, I always had this sense of security around him, even if I can't really remember his face."
"That's unfortunate." Prowl couldn't help but look over his shoulder at the portrait of his family, reminded of the absolute and inconditional love he received from both of his creators. He remembered an instance when he was so young he had only learned to walk and talk, his parents took him to the orphanage in another shire, where he learned of unfortunate sparklings who lacked the kind and loving parents he had. He had been so disturbed and sadened by their situation he had tried to take as many sparklings as he could back to Praxus with him.
When his parents explained to him it was impossible to take the sparklings to Praxus, as the laws stated back then they could only be adopted by local families, Prowl took all the energon goodies his carrier brought along for him and gave them all to the mechlets without parents and home, sad he couldn't do more for them.
"That's life, nothin' that can be done 'bout it." Jazz's voice pulled him back from his memories of happier times. "Can't say it was bad livin' at the orphanage. I had friends, fuel, a place ta recharge. I think that's a lot more than I had before I was dropped there. So I don't complain, really."
"You had many friends?"
Jazz smiled fondly. "Yeah. We were terrible, we'd get in trouble so much. Granted it was jus' trouble with Starscream. Skywarp kinda encouraged us an' Thundercracker was more lenient."
Prowl hummed softly, plucking another goody off the plate. "It's good there was something positive in your life despite the situation with your progenitors."
Jazz nodded and ate another goody himself. "Ups an' downs like everythin'. But I've had a decent life anyway."
Prowl stared at the contents of his cube for a moment, taking a sip before looking back at Jazz. "Are you satisfied with your life now, Jazz?"
The silver mech looked back at the Lord of Praxus, his bright blue optics met the icy blue of the lord's glance for a moment before looking back down at his own glass. "I'll admit I'm feelin' happier than I expected."
Prowl nodded absently. "It's good your life is more satisfactory than you expected."
Jazz couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, shifting uneasily in his seat, looking at anything but the black and white mech. "I meant no offense with my words, my lord."
Prowl canted his head in confusion. "I took none." Prowl reached to touch the silver mech's shoulder. Although the touch was brief and felt somewhat impersonal Jazz turned to look back at the chevroned mech nonetheless. "I am aware I'm strict and my methods are not to everyone's liking, so I am glad you find enjoyment in your life despite the guidelines you must follow while serving me."
"They ain't that bad once you get used ta them." Jazz shrugged a little. "I mean, there's this kind of stuff in any job, it can't always be that pleasant."
Prowl sipped his energon, the mech's words bringing another thought to the forefront. "That does remind me, are you thinking about your future?"
"My future?"
"Remember you're employed by me to pay for your upgrades. When that is done, Jazz, what are you going to do?" Prowl picked another cube, taking a small bite. "Will you seek to negociate a new contract with me? Or will you leave my home to look for other venues?"
Jazz looked down to the plate, realizing now he hadn't put much thought about what he would do once he was done paying the debt he owed to the Lord. He had fallen into his duties and the routine that came with them and now the reminder weighted on him. "I haven't given much thought to that, my lord."
The chevroned mech quirked an optic ridge, he had expected Jazz to know exactly what he wanted to do once his debt was paid. "In either case you must give some thought to the situation, Jazz. It won't be that long before your contract expires. It'd be best if you inform me of what you'd like to do ahead of time so the preparations can go smoothly."
"I will my lord." Jazz fell silent after that, seemingly deep in thought and considering the Lord of Praxus' words. They continued to refuel in silence until the energon was gone and Prowl gestured the dishes to be taken away. Jazz stood quickly and collected the used items, bowing the lord good night.
"Thank you for your company tonight, Jazz." Prowl tipped his head lightly and headed out of the dining room. "Have a pleasant recharge."
"Thank you, my lord. Rest well yourself." Jazz watched the lord exit the room and sighed heavily once he was left alone with his thoughts again. Did he want to leave the security of Prowl's home to take risks out in the world outside? What other kind of jobs would he want to do? What other venues would he try to search for?
It was all too confusing for the silver mech. When he first agreed to work for Lord Prowl to pay for his upgrades, he was looking forward to reach the end of their contract so he could decide by himself what he wanted to do, where he wanted to live and what he wanted to do. But now things weren't as clear as they had been back then. He still harbored the wish to pick his own destiny, go wherever he wanted, but at the same time it felt like he didn't need to right away, he felt he could wait a little longer, and perhaps that was what he should do, continue to work for the Lord of Praxus, save his full pay, begin to think seriously about what he wished to do and then take the leap when he felt ready.
The silver mech decided he could think about these things clearly after some recharge, and headed for the kitchen, pushing away the uncertainty for now and smiling down at the dishes he carried, feeling content after having shared a meal with the chevroned lord. Now that he could actually process what had just happened, he couldn't help but think the whole situation had been surreal. A mere servant dining in the company of a noblemech, and not just any noble but the Lord of the land itself.
Jazz smiled to himself while he washed the used dishes. He couldn't help but think about the whole thing as a class of sorts. Lord Prowl had taken the time to teach him how to consume energon the way he did, in that economic style of his. Jazz had noticed the chevroned mech tended to do that kind of thing. He didn't openly say what he was doing or that he was teaching something, he just did it, he showed how something was done clearly and slowly in ways that were hard not to pick up.
The small chit chat they shared had been enjoyable despite the subjects. Although the silver mech realized he did most of the speaking, the lord had learned a bit about him, while Jazz had been given just a glimpse of other facets of his lord. Although Jazz had to admit getting to see that portrait of Prowl and his family had been interesting and admittedly piqued his curiosity a little, he just couldn't help but think about that beautiful sparkling trotting around with that innocent and sweet look on his face plates. He couldn't help but feel a wave of sympathy towards the Lord of Praxus, thinking about how that precious sparkling was probably destroyed by circumstances and selfish mechs.
Done with his chores for the time being, Jazz decided to return to his quarters to get some rest, looking forward to spending time in the library the next cycle, already enjoying many of the really antique volumes the private collection had to offer.