Something that's been troubling me lately.
I know that living out someone else's expectations is like, wrong. I mean all the self-help books say 'live YOUR life' right? It's all about satisfying yourself before others right? But what if living up someone else's expectations which makes them happy which would in turn make you happy is what satisfies you? And a person's disappointment in you is what makes you strive to fulfil those expectations?
The people that know me probably know that my life has pretty much been one big expectation by the people that influence my life the most - family, friends. At times I've tried so hard to break away from these expectations, but then I often find myself fighting for all the wrong reasons. Fighting for a reason that doesn't even make sense to me anymore. Fighting for the sake of fighting.
So maybe that's why I go along with all the plans. Because hell if my decision isn't right, it's gonna fuck up my life yeah? And maybe the most scary part is, what if it was all just for the sake of fighting? Like you knew they were right and you wanted to prove them wrong, but if they're already right, then you can only be wrong.
But when someone makes a plan for you - a sensible plan - and you don't follow it, what's the reason behind that? Are you fighting it again? Or are you for once making the right choice? None of that 'follow your heart' shit.
So I just wanna know, what do you want from me.
The people that know me probably know that my life has pretty much been one big expectation by the people that influence my life the most - family, friends. At times I've tried so hard to break away from these expectations, but then I often find myself fighting for all the wrong reasons. Fighting for a reason that doesn't even make sense to me anymore. Fighting for the sake of fighting.
So maybe that's why I go along with all the plans. Because hell if my decision isn't right, it's gonna fuck up my life yeah? And maybe the most scary part is, what if it was all just for the sake of fighting? Like you knew they were right and you wanted to prove them wrong, but if they're already right, then you can only be wrong.
But when someone makes a plan for you - a sensible plan - and you don't follow it, what's the reason behind that? Are you fighting it again? Or are you for once making the right choice? None of that 'follow your heart' shit.
So I just wanna know, what do you want from me.