Cur
It's my birthday.
Why do I feel this way?
There's an awkward emotion rolling around in my mind and the rest of my feelings are silenced by it.
Frankly, I don't feel like celebrating my birthday. I'm confused.
I'm 21; I'm taking baby steps into the realm of adulthood-- you'd think I'd want to paint the town orange (red's overrated) and get hella drunk.
Yet I'm sitting here, blogging, watching the hours roll by. My parents asked me earlier today "What do you want for your birthday?" and after a pause, I answered "I don't know."
I don't feel like I deserve anything, honestly. I've swept memories of my car accident from the corners of my mind and I'm close to paying off all my bills and I'm a little ways away from joining the Air Force.
Still, this unsettling feeling resides within. I'm so bothered, I don't even know if I should be upset or anything. And there's a small part of me that would still like to go out and maybe do something, but it seems like it's fighting a losing battle against this wall of numb emotion.
Ugh. It'll be over tomorrow.
Why do I feel this way?
There's an awkward emotion rolling around in my mind and the rest of my feelings are silenced by it.
Frankly, I don't feel like celebrating my birthday. I'm confused.
I'm 21; I'm taking baby steps into the realm of adulthood-- you'd think I'd want to paint the town orange (red's overrated) and get hella drunk.
Yet I'm sitting here, blogging, watching the hours roll by. My parents asked me earlier today "What do you want for your birthday?" and after a pause, I answered "I don't know."
I don't feel like I deserve anything, honestly. I've swept memories of my car accident from the corners of my mind and I'm close to paying off all my bills and I'm a little ways away from joining the Air Force.
Still, this unsettling feeling resides within. I'm so bothered, I don't even know if I should be upset or anything. And there's a small part of me that would still like to go out and maybe do something, but it seems like it's fighting a losing battle against this wall of numb emotion.
Ugh. It'll be over tomorrow.