(no subject)
i hate the fact that i have to be here while the love of my life sits at home pining for me and has to fill her time with utter BS in order to get threw the days with out me. all my like i have pleaded with God to send me an angle and for some reason he has but made me wish the days would pass more quickly so that i may see her again. when ever my life seems just to fucked to live all i need to do is think of what is important in my life and i feel better. this week is going to be the worse and i hope the rest of it gose as well as possible. it will be hard because i can see "it" comming and it is extra speacaly hard when compounded with the thoughts of not being there to hold her close and tell her person to person that i love her and will never let her go. i feel a strounger bond then ever and can not help but hate the fact that she is only sixteen and can not be with me right now. you must know that i would not giv up what i have with her for ANYTHING and the sea of temptation has been in temoil as of lately. i have not even had one thought of ever cheating but if i were the kind of person who would stoop as low as to scape the bottom of all that is wrong and go lower all the way the the core of everything that is wrong and brake throu to the very heart of wrong its self and chate on my love i could and she may never be the wiser. but i would not ever do that i would cut my very manhood off rather chate on her for i would hate my self for the rest of time and it would be the last time i ever did anything with any one i would be scared to the very depth of my soul and would not be able to look at my self again. i would probable be so upset that i would starve to death because i would be so sick that i would not eat or be able to sleep because all i would think about is that i am not worthy of life. to me cheating is the wrose thing anyone can do and if i know that you do it i can not be friendly to you nor would you want to hear what i would say if you asked me what you should do. i love my baby more then anything and i will get though these few days and see her for six full weeks it will be so great that i will forget the hell that these last four weeks have been and her and i will be so close that not even God could break us apart. for now i will just have to wait for the week t pass and hope that her and i dont have any more days like today and if we do that we both know that our love is somthing that just dose not happen every day that the hand of God had some play in it because he knew that someone that specail needed someone like me to show her that some one can love her and only her forever with somuch love that not even being away from her for four weeks could break us apart and that some one who loves her dose not cheat on her because you can say you love some one with all your heart and screw around with someone eles for that is not all your heart or any of your heart it is non because you can not love two people at the same time the whole heart is not splitable and the whole heart. i need to go call her because i miss her and i need to tell her that i love her so much more then anyone can ever know.