I dont know
I dont know what happened but for the last couple of weeks I ahve been in a very bad place. I don't feel at all like myself and it's starting to take its toll on me, emotionally and physically.
First of all, work is stressing me the fuck out. Then comes the boy and the family and....I don't know. I just don't know anymore. You know, I try and try and try really really hard to be everything for everyone and I think I lost myself somewhere down the road.
I just need to take some time out for me and figure out what I want.
Kevin....he's a great guy. Honestly. I couldn't ask for a better person....except for the fact that he's been really snippy lately. And I'm eating the shit end of his "I'm having a bad couple months" stick. I don't think giving up on him is in my best interest. That is to say, I do have feelings for him. Valerie broke up with me because I was too distant. And I know I don't want this to end up like that. I don't even talk to her anymore. People have told me, "Marti, you're making yourself feel like this, you know." and yeah, I know. But I think he might really like me and I don't want to let this amazing guy slip through my fingers. So I put up with the crap. If it comes down to it, down the road, and it didn't work out...so be it. But dammit, I want this guy! I want him for myself! And it's really hurting me inside.
I dont now, I need to stop ranting before I get myself into trouble.
First of all, work is stressing me the fuck out. Then comes the boy and the family and....I don't know. I just don't know anymore. You know, I try and try and try really really hard to be everything for everyone and I think I lost myself somewhere down the road.
I just need to take some time out for me and figure out what I want.
Kevin....he's a great guy. Honestly. I couldn't ask for a better person....except for the fact that he's been really snippy lately. And I'm eating the shit end of his "I'm having a bad couple months" stick. I don't think giving up on him is in my best interest. That is to say, I do have feelings for him. Valerie broke up with me because I was too distant. And I know I don't want this to end up like that. I don't even talk to her anymore. People have told me, "Marti, you're making yourself feel like this, you know." and yeah, I know. But I think he might really like me and I don't want to let this amazing guy slip through my fingers. So I put up with the crap. If it comes down to it, down the road, and it didn't work out...so be it. But dammit, I want this guy! I want him for myself! And it's really hurting me inside.
I dont now, I need to stop ranting before I get myself into trouble.