Expectations

[martian687]

Saturday evening, over scones, snakeskin1982 and I were discussing why it has been so difficult for us, two intelligent, personable, attractive (at least I'd like to think so), women in our late twenties to find a permanent relationship. She wondered if our modern independence had raised our standards and expectations for love and partnership to an

Comments

[paperclippy]

I would think about your criteria and figure out which ones are really necessary. For example, at your current situation in life, it doesn't make sense to date someone who isn't interested in marriage and children. It's just a waste of your time and theirs. That is a totally valid reason to exclude people (IMO). The biggest problems people have in marriage are related to children (have them, don't have them, how many, when) and money, followed by religion and politics (at least, from what I've read). Those are probably the most important deal-breaker-type issues (do not underestimate the importance of financial compatibility!).

Having common interests and hobbies is also very important. However, you probably shouldn't exclude someone right off the bat because they aren't a Star Trek fan. What I mean is that people can become interested in things like that even if they don't have a history of doing so. I never used to listen to classic rock, but after being around someone (Ben) who listens to it all the time, it's grown on me and now I enjoy it too. But I wouldn't have wanted him to mark me off his list of potential mates because I wasn't interested in classic rock. See what I mean?

I second the recommendation of a site like eHarmony. They are designed to match you up on those big deal-breaker type issues. It's basically a way to narrow down the playing field to people you are more likely to be compatible with.