I'M FAT!!!!!!!!!!!
I moved my computer into my new apartment and the guy disconnected the internet for no reason *cough* bastard *cough*. So I am using the computer lab which sucks.
So Nate's in the hospital AGAIN with pnenomia. He has been there since yesterday afternoon and it doesn't looklike he is getting out today. Honestly I am getting physically and emotionally tired of this crap. I know he can't help getting sick, but there is only so much a person can take. I'm tired of going to the hospital. I'm tired of seeing him sick. I'm tired of being miserable just sitting there next to him in the most uncomfortable chair while he lies there in a bed getting as much morphine as he wants and having a nurse at his beckoning call. Seriously..I'm sorry if this sounds selfish, but this is how I feel. I'm tired.
Lat night I go back to the apartment after leaving the hospital and realize some asshole locked the door and I didn't have keys. So here I was with no where to go. I sat in the car for about 2 hours till Brett got home. Crying to myself. Begging God for all this to stop, even considering giving up on him.
Most of you probably don't know what's been going on. Well about a month ago my parents basically told me they liked not having anyone at home. I understand that completely. I mean, there are at the point in their lives where they like being empty nesters. So off to find an apartment here in Flag......doo doo doo doo doo doo...ok found one. Nate and I moved everything in on Sunday except for a few things still in the dorm room. Basically Nate and I felt we had no choice but to find a place together and I love it. It really is nice having him sleep next to me at night (that is when he is feeling good). This is just a transition period until we can find a apartment and can AFFORD it. Hopefully only a few months here.
I'm tired of life being like this. My mom told me that its good that I am getting to see what its like living on my own, but honestly most people's lives aren't this shitty.
My surgery for having my tonsils taken out in being pushed back to NEXT Thursday. Oh and you want to know the reason why?....its cuz I'm too FAT. That's right. They were all "because the limit for the body fat index is 35 and you are 38 you have to have it done at the hospital in case anything happens"...yup what a great reminder of how fat I am and how much I try to become healthy and things don't work and how much other stuff I am having to worry about now.
Looking for a job. I have an interview at a pet store in the mall here (yes they do have a mall in Flagstaff). Now I have to explain to them how I will have to alreay take off work for my surgery and I can't go back to work for a week. That's if I even get the job.
So I have been very selfish in this entry. I am sorry. Gosh other people's lives are worse than mine. I just don't feel like taking another breath is even worth it right now. Just to take a breath and realize more things are still left to accomplush. Bills are needing to get payed. Just everything. Heaven looks pretty nice now a days.
So Nate's in the hospital AGAIN with pnenomia. He has been there since yesterday afternoon and it doesn't looklike he is getting out today. Honestly I am getting physically and emotionally tired of this crap. I know he can't help getting sick, but there is only so much a person can take. I'm tired of going to the hospital. I'm tired of seeing him sick. I'm tired of being miserable just sitting there next to him in the most uncomfortable chair while he lies there in a bed getting as much morphine as he wants and having a nurse at his beckoning call. Seriously..I'm sorry if this sounds selfish, but this is how I feel. I'm tired.
Lat night I go back to the apartment after leaving the hospital and realize some asshole locked the door and I didn't have keys. So here I was with no where to go. I sat in the car for about 2 hours till Brett got home. Crying to myself. Begging God for all this to stop, even considering giving up on him.
Most of you probably don't know what's been going on. Well about a month ago my parents basically told me they liked not having anyone at home. I understand that completely. I mean, there are at the point in their lives where they like being empty nesters. So off to find an apartment here in Flag......doo doo doo doo doo doo...ok found one. Nate and I moved everything in on Sunday except for a few things still in the dorm room. Basically Nate and I felt we had no choice but to find a place together and I love it. It really is nice having him sleep next to me at night (that is when he is feeling good). This is just a transition period until we can find a apartment and can AFFORD it. Hopefully only a few months here.
I'm tired of life being like this. My mom told me that its good that I am getting to see what its like living on my own, but honestly most people's lives aren't this shitty.
My surgery for having my tonsils taken out in being pushed back to NEXT Thursday. Oh and you want to know the reason why?....its cuz I'm too FAT. That's right. They were all "because the limit for the body fat index is 35 and you are 38 you have to have it done at the hospital in case anything happens"...yup what a great reminder of how fat I am and how much I try to become healthy and things don't work and how much other stuff I am having to worry about now.
Looking for a job. I have an interview at a pet store in the mall here (yes they do have a mall in Flagstaff). Now I have to explain to them how I will have to alreay take off work for my surgery and I can't go back to work for a week. That's if I even get the job.
So I have been very selfish in this entry. I am sorry. Gosh other people's lives are worse than mine. I just don't feel like taking another breath is even worth it right now. Just to take a breath and realize more things are still left to accomplush. Bills are needing to get payed. Just everything. Heaven looks pretty nice now a days.