Google-ing old boyfriends
There's nothing more depressing than Google-ing an old boyfriend and finding out all the NEA grants he's gotten, Fullbrights, solo museum exhibitions, books published, and blah de fucking blah blah blah. Why did I do that? I knew it was going to be like this. I knew it. And bad blood aside (let it be known that I dumped HIM)..his work is some of the least deserving I've ever seen. I knew this when I went out with him. It used to infuriate me. We had no real chance of succeeding as a couple because I didn't respect his work and he didn't respect mine. So it was a great thing when I got out. Soon after I met Jon and he was a world apart and the rest is history.
But still, it gets to me. The injustice of the art world. How mediocrity just keeps getting rewarded. And the more it's rewarded then the more it gets rewarded like a compounding of bank interest. More begets MORE. And conversely less begets less.
This is where I would start my pity party but I'm not going to do it. This time I'm not stooping to that level. I just wish I could let go of the resentment.
But still, it gets to me. The injustice of the art world. How mediocrity just keeps getting rewarded. And the more it's rewarded then the more it gets rewarded like a compounding of bank interest. More begets MORE. And conversely less begets less.
This is where I would start my pity party but I'm not going to do it. This time I'm not stooping to that level. I just wish I could let go of the resentment.