(no subject)
you know that stabbing, left-out feeling that you get when everyone around you is having a great time...except you? 6 people...5 of whom are 21+...guess what happens to the 6th person when everyone else wants to go bar hopping? oh boy, i get to drive them around. thanks guys, it'll be a fun fun fun time. don't worry...i'll drop you off so you all can get trashed, then i'll go back to your apartment...alone...and wait four hours until you call me. wow...can i have great times like this every night?
maybe it is selfish, but i wish just one person had been like, "no...you're coming with us. we'll go somewhere that you can get into, ok?" yeah no. kris offered to stay with me, but why should he have to suffer on account of me? this is probably all just a bunch of whiny nonsense in the "big picture" of things, but i just want to feel like i belong to a group of friends. it seems like i am still on the outside looking through the window. sometimes i just feel really alone, and yet i feel too embarrassed to say anything for fear of looking like a pathetic loser. whatever. i don't really belong anywhere anyway.
maybe it is selfish, but i wish just one person had been like, "no...you're coming with us. we'll go somewhere that you can get into, ok?" yeah no. kris offered to stay with me, but why should he have to suffer on account of me? this is probably all just a bunch of whiny nonsense in the "big picture" of things, but i just want to feel like i belong to a group of friends. it seems like i am still on the outside looking through the window. sometimes i just feel really alone, and yet i feel too embarrassed to say anything for fear of looking like a pathetic loser. whatever. i don't really belong anywhere anyway.