[fic] falling slowly, ontae
falling slowly ; ontae
a/n: this has been rattling around in my brain for too long, so viola! i also wanted to try some role reversal.
warnings: mentions of abuse, psychological imbalance
When Jinki gets back from his classes sometimes (these were the times he loved the most) Taemin would pull him gently over to the couch without a word, and let him lay in his lap with a light blanket over them, urging them to relax after his stressful day.
Taemin would always run his fingers through Jinki's hair, sometimes leaning down and kissing him, sometimes telling him a story. In that moment, Jinki falls in love with him all over again and believes that Taemin's the best thing to come into his life. He forgets everything in the world; all the responsibilites of being a college student and instead focuses on how amazing Taemin's lips feel, how soft and warm Taemin's chest feels against his, how he's managed to still take his breath away even after the years.
Jinki reminds himself on how much Taemin completes him, and how he can't live without him. He begins to follow Taemin around everywhere; be they on campus or back at their dorm building. Room 304 has become just as much his home as his own room 207, and Jinki starts keeping knick knacks in there. Clothes, necklaces, snacks and his favourite candy, drinks, some old CDs he never really listens to anymore. He really starts falling in love with Taemin, never failing to hold his hand and tell him I love you.
Old horror films were Taemin's favourite, and constantly played on their television. Sometimes they watched sports, sometimes they played videogames together, sometimes they just stared at the blank screen and made up their own movies; sharing what they saw and laughing at how stupid they sounded. Except Jinki never liked it when Taemin brought people over, and limited it to once a month; at most.
He especially doesn't like it when Taemin brings over his close friend Minho, and often responds by clinging to the male and talking in a clipped voice, ignoring how Taemin seems to shrink away from him when he gets like this. He has to protect Taemin, because he's convinced Minho wants to take him away from him; and Jinki can't have that.
Jinki has his rights to be suspicious, because when he goes through Taemin's phone every night, he finds texts from Taemin and Minho that suggests more than just a friendship going on between them; and it makes him upset. Because Taemin is his object of affection; not quite his boyfriend, but something deeper. His soulmate. Him and Taemin are destined to be together, and Jinki knows it even if Taemin doesn't. He has to make him see and realize it.
So he confronts Taemin one day over it, confronts him on how he knows about his and Minho's relationship and how he needs to pick between him or Minho and there was no option C. This leads to a fight between them, which wasn't uncommon (especially lately). But then one thing leads to another, and soon it escalades to pushing and shoving, couches being turned over and things being thrown around the dorm room, screaming and saying things that neither one of them really truly means but wind up saying anyways.
The last thing Jinki remembers is picking up a large glass shard to defend himself from Taemin's sudden kicks and hits, but everything after that is lost in a blur and haze as he slips into sudden unconciousness, feeling warm blood on his hands.
------
"So you're sure you want to do this?" Kibum adjusts his glasses and clipboard, staring at the young male in front of him. "You're completely sure you want to be here."
Taemin nods and exhales slowly, giving the doctor a weak smile. "Yes, my therapist said this would help me."
"You can come this way, then," Kibum says as he stands up, scooting the chair back into its place and leads them out of his office. "I'm Kim Kibum, by the way. I'm the new psychiatrist for this floor and ward. If you feel comfortable with it, you can call me Key." Taemin returns the smile Kibum gives him and nods in affirmation, following him down the hallway.
It doesn't take long before they're in front of a room with another male on the bed, straightjacketed and seemingly asleep curled up on top of the mattress. Even through the window, Taemin feels his pulse race and heart start pounding, breath quickening as he trembles from head to toe. Kibum almost finds it hard to believe that the male in there, frail and tiny and a good few inches shorter than Taemin (and possibly him, but he's not sure) was the source of the nightmares and trauma Taemin experienced.
"Has Jonghyun told you anything about him; about what he did?" Taemin shakes his head, trying to steady his breathing and forget what happened; trying to forget everything, but furrowing his brows at the unfamiliar name. "Jonghyun was the police officer you talked to," Kibum continues patiently, waiting for Taemin to stop shaking and turn his attention back to him.
"You see...Lee Jinki created his own fantasy world. In that world, everything he believed and saw was reality to him. He also believed...and probably still believes that you two had dated for years and years. When we talk to him for his counseling sessions, he tells us of how you two confessed to each other, exactly where you shared your first kiss and when you two moved into the same dorm room. It's...extremely elaborate."
"Why...why was it me?" Taemin feels stupid that it's the only thing he can say, but he's curious at the same time.
"He probably latched onto you sometime during the school year, or even just seeing you in the hallways; and fell in some form of love. When the police searched his house after we sedated him, there were hundreds of pictures of you, as well as planners and diaries filled with everything relating to his world centered around you. Every single detail."
Taemin shuddered, remembering the scene and horrified stares of even the officers. "So...essentially, he stalked me, and used me for his fantasies."
"He'd been stalking you for a few months, correct. How he got into your dorm was by stealing the key, copying it and putting it back. Nothing was ever stolen, but it was how he knew your room so well and your patterns."
A long sigh escapes from Taemin, and he looks down at his clothed arm, wincing slightly as he moved it. Kibum stands behind him and gently squeezes his shoulder. "Are you okay, Taemin? We don't have to continue this."
Taemin shakes his head and bites his lip. "Yes, I'm alright, but I do have a question. Why is...why is he in the straightjacket?"
"Ah, that. Well...the truth is sometimes he cries out for you and becomes violent, so we can't take any chances. Then of course, there are his perfectly calm days where he's ready to go through therapy and gladly opens up. Most of the time though, we do have to sedate him."
Suddenly, Taemin feels himself panicing and he scoots away from the door, collapsing in the hallway in a shaking, sobbing mess. Kibum's immediately calling for a nurse via his radio, ushering off him into a room as Taemin starts hyperventilating. The nurses take him into a room and strap him down to the mattress as one of them goes to grab his arm and roll the sleeves of his shirt up, but pauses when she notices something.
There on Taemin's arm was a jagged cut barely healing over, wrapped carelessly with gauze and a few bandages where the gauze wouldn't hold.
"It looks like it was made with a shard of glass," the nurse comments as she slips a needle into Taemin's vein, holding him while he frantically shakes and trembles before slowly calming down and slipping into sleep. "When he wakes up, prep him for sutures; we need to get that taken care of. It's going to leave a nasty scar."
When they move Jinki out into the intensive psychiatric care ward two days later, they find a slip of paper dated from the day Taemin visited, hastily written as if he'd just woken up.
i saw him again today. i pretended to be asleep so i could see him. i'd forgotten how much i love him and missed him. i just had to make sure he'd always have a part of me with him. it's okay, i'll forgive him calling the police about me in his dorm. because it's what a boyfriend does, right? we're destined to be together forever. just wait, taemin-ah. i'll be there soon, okay? i love you. i love you so much. - jinki
a/n: this has been rattling around in my brain for too long, so viola! i also wanted to try some role reversal.
warnings: mentions of abuse, psychological imbalance
When Jinki gets back from his classes sometimes (these were the times he loved the most) Taemin would pull him gently over to the couch without a word, and let him lay in his lap with a light blanket over them, urging them to relax after his stressful day.
Taemin would always run his fingers through Jinki's hair, sometimes leaning down and kissing him, sometimes telling him a story. In that moment, Jinki falls in love with him all over again and believes that Taemin's the best thing to come into his life. He forgets everything in the world; all the responsibilites of being a college student and instead focuses on how amazing Taemin's lips feel, how soft and warm Taemin's chest feels against his, how he's managed to still take his breath away even after the years.
Jinki reminds himself on how much Taemin completes him, and how he can't live without him. He begins to follow Taemin around everywhere; be they on campus or back at their dorm building. Room 304 has become just as much his home as his own room 207, and Jinki starts keeping knick knacks in there. Clothes, necklaces, snacks and his favourite candy, drinks, some old CDs he never really listens to anymore. He really starts falling in love with Taemin, never failing to hold his hand and tell him I love you.
Old horror films were Taemin's favourite, and constantly played on their television. Sometimes they watched sports, sometimes they played videogames together, sometimes they just stared at the blank screen and made up their own movies; sharing what they saw and laughing at how stupid they sounded. Except Jinki never liked it when Taemin brought people over, and limited it to once a month; at most.
He especially doesn't like it when Taemin brings over his close friend Minho, and often responds by clinging to the male and talking in a clipped voice, ignoring how Taemin seems to shrink away from him when he gets like this. He has to protect Taemin, because he's convinced Minho wants to take him away from him; and Jinki can't have that.
Jinki has his rights to be suspicious, because when he goes through Taemin's phone every night, he finds texts from Taemin and Minho that suggests more than just a friendship going on between them; and it makes him upset. Because Taemin is his object of affection; not quite his boyfriend, but something deeper. His soulmate. Him and Taemin are destined to be together, and Jinki knows it even if Taemin doesn't. He has to make him see and realize it.
So he confronts Taemin one day over it, confronts him on how he knows about his and Minho's relationship and how he needs to pick between him or Minho and there was no option C. This leads to a fight between them, which wasn't uncommon (especially lately). But then one thing leads to another, and soon it escalades to pushing and shoving, couches being turned over and things being thrown around the dorm room, screaming and saying things that neither one of them really truly means but wind up saying anyways.
The last thing Jinki remembers is picking up a large glass shard to defend himself from Taemin's sudden kicks and hits, but everything after that is lost in a blur and haze as he slips into sudden unconciousness, feeling warm blood on his hands.
------
"So you're sure you want to do this?" Kibum adjusts his glasses and clipboard, staring at the young male in front of him. "You're completely sure you want to be here."
Taemin nods and exhales slowly, giving the doctor a weak smile. "Yes, my therapist said this would help me."
"You can come this way, then," Kibum says as he stands up, scooting the chair back into its place and leads them out of his office. "I'm Kim Kibum, by the way. I'm the new psychiatrist for this floor and ward. If you feel comfortable with it, you can call me Key." Taemin returns the smile Kibum gives him and nods in affirmation, following him down the hallway.
It doesn't take long before they're in front of a room with another male on the bed, straightjacketed and seemingly asleep curled up on top of the mattress. Even through the window, Taemin feels his pulse race and heart start pounding, breath quickening as he trembles from head to toe. Kibum almost finds it hard to believe that the male in there, frail and tiny and a good few inches shorter than Taemin (and possibly him, but he's not sure) was the source of the nightmares and trauma Taemin experienced.
"Has Jonghyun told you anything about him; about what he did?" Taemin shakes his head, trying to steady his breathing and forget what happened; trying to forget everything, but furrowing his brows at the unfamiliar name. "Jonghyun was the police officer you talked to," Kibum continues patiently, waiting for Taemin to stop shaking and turn his attention back to him.
"You see...Lee Jinki created his own fantasy world. In that world, everything he believed and saw was reality to him. He also believed...and probably still believes that you two had dated for years and years. When we talk to him for his counseling sessions, he tells us of how you two confessed to each other, exactly where you shared your first kiss and when you two moved into the same dorm room. It's...extremely elaborate."
"Why...why was it me?" Taemin feels stupid that it's the only thing he can say, but he's curious at the same time.
"He probably latched onto you sometime during the school year, or even just seeing you in the hallways; and fell in some form of love. When the police searched his house after we sedated him, there were hundreds of pictures of you, as well as planners and diaries filled with everything relating to his world centered around you. Every single detail."
Taemin shuddered, remembering the scene and horrified stares of even the officers. "So...essentially, he stalked me, and used me for his fantasies."
"He'd been stalking you for a few months, correct. How he got into your dorm was by stealing the key, copying it and putting it back. Nothing was ever stolen, but it was how he knew your room so well and your patterns."
A long sigh escapes from Taemin, and he looks down at his clothed arm, wincing slightly as he moved it. Kibum stands behind him and gently squeezes his shoulder. "Are you okay, Taemin? We don't have to continue this."
Taemin shakes his head and bites his lip. "Yes, I'm alright, but I do have a question. Why is...why is he in the straightjacket?"
"Ah, that. Well...the truth is sometimes he cries out for you and becomes violent, so we can't take any chances. Then of course, there are his perfectly calm days where he's ready to go through therapy and gladly opens up. Most of the time though, we do have to sedate him."
Suddenly, Taemin feels himself panicing and he scoots away from the door, collapsing in the hallway in a shaking, sobbing mess. Kibum's immediately calling for a nurse via his radio, ushering off him into a room as Taemin starts hyperventilating. The nurses take him into a room and strap him down to the mattress as one of them goes to grab his arm and roll the sleeves of his shirt up, but pauses when she notices something.
There on Taemin's arm was a jagged cut barely healing over, wrapped carelessly with gauze and a few bandages where the gauze wouldn't hold.
"It looks like it was made with a shard of glass," the nurse comments as she slips a needle into Taemin's vein, holding him while he frantically shakes and trembles before slowly calming down and slipping into sleep. "When he wakes up, prep him for sutures; we need to get that taken care of. It's going to leave a nasty scar."
When they move Jinki out into the intensive psychiatric care ward two days later, they find a slip of paper dated from the day Taemin visited, hastily written as if he'd just woken up.
i saw him again today. i pretended to be asleep so i could see him. i'd forgotten how much i love him and missed him. i just had to make sure he'd always have a part of me with him. it's okay, i'll forgive him calling the police about me in his dorm. because it's what a boyfriend does, right? we're destined to be together forever. just wait, taemin-ah. i'll be there soon, okay? i love you. i love you so much. - jinki