Christmas with a Gay Leatherman
Here is what happens when you share and celebrate Christmas with a gay leatherman....
1. You have two full sized trees -- one upstairs and one downstairs.
2. Each tree has its own color theme. Don't confuse them. Just don't.
3. The outside decorations coordinate with the downstairs tree color theme.
4. The family has a "wrapping theme." This year, it's red and gold. All your presents are wrapped in red and/or gold. The gay leatherman festively adorns his packages with glittery red and gold balls. (Really. I wouldn't make this stuff up.)
5. You set a spending limit for family gifts and then you blow past it. Repeatedly.
6. Because you've blown past the spending limit -- repeatedly -- you run out of room for presents under the downstairs tree. This forces you to begin putting presents under the upstairs tree.
7. The upstairs tree is Harley themed (black, silver, Harley orange). The red and gold wrapping paper on the gifts doesn't match. Trauma ensues. The gay leatherman actually considers rewrapping gifts so they will match the upstairs tree theme.
8. You let the Butch beat some sense into the gay leatherman.
9. The gay leatherman gives in, but says only the gold wrapped presents can go under the upstairs tree, as they won't clash quite as badly.
10. It is apparently a gay leatherman religious requirement that the last week before Christmas, you continue to shop every day, leading to a run on the store for more gold paper that won't clash so badly with the upstairs tree.
11. Everyone in the house makes fun of the Femme slave for wrapping EVERYTHING in gift bags. Yes, everything.
And finally....
12. In the midst all of the trauma and shopping and gift wrapping, you all know that the greatest gift of all is that you have each other -- that you're a leather family.
Happy holidays from my family... to you and yours.
1. You have two full sized trees -- one upstairs and one downstairs.
2. Each tree has its own color theme. Don't confuse them. Just don't.
3. The outside decorations coordinate with the downstairs tree color theme.
4. The family has a "wrapping theme." This year, it's red and gold. All your presents are wrapped in red and/or gold. The gay leatherman festively adorns his packages with glittery red and gold balls. (Really. I wouldn't make this stuff up.)
5. You set a spending limit for family gifts and then you blow past it. Repeatedly.
6. Because you've blown past the spending limit -- repeatedly -- you run out of room for presents under the downstairs tree. This forces you to begin putting presents under the upstairs tree.
7. The upstairs tree is Harley themed (black, silver, Harley orange). The red and gold wrapping paper on the gifts doesn't match. Trauma ensues. The gay leatherman actually considers rewrapping gifts so they will match the upstairs tree theme.
8. You let the Butch beat some sense into the gay leatherman.
9. The gay leatherman gives in, but says only the gold wrapped presents can go under the upstairs tree, as they won't clash quite as badly.
10. It is apparently a gay leatherman religious requirement that the last week before Christmas, you continue to shop every day, leading to a run on the store for more gold paper that won't clash so badly with the upstairs tree.
11. Everyone in the house makes fun of the Femme slave for wrapping EVERYTHING in gift bags. Yes, everything.
And finally....
12. In the midst all of the trauma and shopping and gift wrapping, you all know that the greatest gift of all is that you have each other -- that you're a leather family.
Happy holidays from my family... to you and yours.