Crap.
So I've graduated, and let me tell you, I was NEVER looking forward to that. I was no Van Wilder, but going to class, doing papers, watching pretty cool Asian films, going to the gym with Charlotte, drinking with Kristina, partying at Eoin's, eating and smuggling food at the DC, and then going back to the semi-comfort of my messy room in North Apartments, that wasn't so bad of a deal. As much as I love my father, sleeping on a mattress in a cramped apartment with mostly junk-food tempting me and waking up at 2pm everyday, it's not good. It's hard to get motivated to do anything. I'm literally going to have to walk to the library downtown (I could drive, but it's a 20-minute walk, might as well) to get any work done, just like at DuBois Library, which I will sorely SORELY miss the Learning Commons and 24/5 hours.
The last week for me at Umass was very eventful. I'll go day-by-day
Saturday May 19 -
My "birthday" party, at Eoin's place because North sucks/is cramped though I could have snuck people in at least. A fairly decent crowd of 20 or so showed, though it was rather discouraging to have all 40 maybe's not show up. Played this fun drinking game called Three-Man, and I was probably 7 Screwdrivers in when it stopped, probably a good thing or I would have been out-of-my-mind wasted. Tried to get a drinking game to "Three...Extremes", but just weird movies overall, and no one had much of an attention span. Massive food fight with burgers and fries flying everywhere, though a bit disappointing that people only brought McD's for the most part (this was Fast Food Fest 2 also). Some scrumptious drug eating though. Charlotte V. and Jenny made out for cash, that was neat. Surprise stops from Kevin Juica and Hulk3Rules were great. Topped off by some video games and push-ups, it was a solid time. It started pouring at 3am, so I crashed on Eoin's sofa for the night along with Dante.
Sunday May 20 -
Reality sets in as I wake up around 12:50 p.m. and get a ride back from Dante. Ugh, just remembered I had work at 2pm (though I wasn't hungover despite my extremely-frugal purchase of Poland Springs Vodka). I actually got 5-6 pages of script-writing done at work. I had 40 or so pages to write for my Advanced Screenwriting class script on pro wrestlers as scab substitute teachers, and 15 pages script plus a 5-page explanatory essay for Asian Pop Cinema, with the former being due at 4pm Monday and the latter being due at 11am Monday. This would be my most glorious attempt at pulling off final papers, far outdoing my freshman year feat of writing a 8-page research paper from scratch in 4 hours.
Monday May 21 -
I stayed up all night writing 21 pages of new script by hand, and completely wrote the third act of "Text Wrestling". Still had to rework the first act and get something of a second act going. By 10am, I managed to throw together a semi-lousy script mocking all the Asian films we saw for class, and a 3-page explanation, so I dropped that off before heading off to work AGAIN (good call signing up for 11-2pm shift, dummy). Pretty much did jacksquat at work, as the fitness center wasn't an easy place to get work done when you're on no sleep, little food, and no caffeine. Get out at 2pm, rush to the library to try and re-do the first act and make some semblance of a second act. It's 3:50, I have 45 pages, but no second act lol. Geisler said if we were close that we could write a summary of the missing pages, and though 45 pages isn't as close as 54-55, oh wellz. I write a 2-page summary of the missing pages, and rush to Machmer to drop it off at the 4pm deadline. I drop it off , only to find out he hadn't been in his office all day. I better not have gotten the deadline wrong :(
I take an hour nap and some foodage, then head over to Berkshire DC for a last dinner with Cassie, Charlotte V, Erin, Michelle, Jenny and Eoin. I make a wry observation wondering why Charlotte Viera ISN'T always naked (gotta know the context of it all). Party in Sunderland later, but I took another nap and didn't wake up in time to catch the bus from Puffton, so I ended up driving there at 11:30. The door was locked, and everyone was out of there. Eoin says he got lost, I drive back to Amherst, then he says he thinks he's still in Sunderland, I drive back there to not find him, and it's getting really ridiculous/confusing. As I drive back from Sunderland, I hear an alarming, loud scraping towards the back of my car. I'm pretty worried that it's the backright balljoint I was told about a few months back, so I'm driving back in fear of my life that the wheel will fall off or something. Sidenote: I paid nine bucks from 7am-4:30pm or so for parking because I didn't want to waste a good 45 minutes driving my car back up to Ohill on Sunday night and walking back to the library.
Tuesday May 22 -
Didn't do a whole lot. Slept a good amount.
Wednesday May 23/Thursday May 24 -
Foxwoods. See poker blog for trip report on that.
Friday May 25 -
Pretty much did jacksquat, slept in what with the lack of sleep from the past two days. Got two pages of my Abolition and Anti-Slavery final paper that was due that day, and was incredibly distracted throughout the day and night with the moving things out, cleaning shit up, karoake with the parents and stepfather, and Kelly and her friends moving shit out. It's fucking impossible for me to get anything done when the library is closed :(
Saturday May 26 -
Move out of Umass forever. The last thing I ever hear at Umass is polka music on UVC-19. Skipped graduation because I'm not getting individually recognized for jack, nor was the Andy Card protest the same day, nor did we have a commencement speaker. Damn me for forgetting to bring back the Nestle Crunch Ice Cream Bars. Lunch at Wendy's. Then the awkwardness of having no job begins.
I'm in a horrible rut right now. No friends within 90 minutes of me is a real bummer, and even the ones in this state are never around. There's only one...thing holding me back from leaving and never coming back, and even that looks like it isn't going to amount to anything. Not saying I'm going to throw in the towel, but things don't look so hot. I dislike making this into a bad-beat/woah-is-me post, but it annoys me how a good amount of people I know (not naming names) have it SO easy. It doesn't make them bad people or junk, and I'm not saying they don't work hard in certain aspects, but aside from my car, NOTHING falls into my lap. NOTHING. I doubt anything ever will. As much as I respect that, when you're down in the dumps, it's tough to have hope when you know for certain you aren't going to get some lucky break, and that you're going to have to suffer for awhile for things to get better.
The last week for me at Umass was very eventful. I'll go day-by-day
Saturday May 19 -
My "birthday" party, at Eoin's place because North sucks/is cramped though I could have snuck people in at least. A fairly decent crowd of 20 or so showed, though it was rather discouraging to have all 40 maybe's not show up. Played this fun drinking game called Three-Man, and I was probably 7 Screwdrivers in when it stopped, probably a good thing or I would have been out-of-my-mind wasted. Tried to get a drinking game to "Three...Extremes", but just weird movies overall, and no one had much of an attention span. Massive food fight with burgers and fries flying everywhere, though a bit disappointing that people only brought McD's for the most part (this was Fast Food Fest 2 also). Some scrumptious drug eating though. Charlotte V. and Jenny made out for cash, that was neat. Surprise stops from Kevin Juica and Hulk3Rules were great. Topped off by some video games and push-ups, it was a solid time. It started pouring at 3am, so I crashed on Eoin's sofa for the night along with Dante.
Sunday May 20 -
Reality sets in as I wake up around 12:50 p.m. and get a ride back from Dante. Ugh, just remembered I had work at 2pm (though I wasn't hungover despite my extremely-frugal purchase of Poland Springs Vodka). I actually got 5-6 pages of script-writing done at work. I had 40 or so pages to write for my Advanced Screenwriting class script on pro wrestlers as scab substitute teachers, and 15 pages script plus a 5-page explanatory essay for Asian Pop Cinema, with the former being due at 4pm Monday and the latter being due at 11am Monday. This would be my most glorious attempt at pulling off final papers, far outdoing my freshman year feat of writing a 8-page research paper from scratch in 4 hours.
Monday May 21 -
I stayed up all night writing 21 pages of new script by hand, and completely wrote the third act of "Text Wrestling". Still had to rework the first act and get something of a second act going. By 10am, I managed to throw together a semi-lousy script mocking all the Asian films we saw for class, and a 3-page explanation, so I dropped that off before heading off to work AGAIN (good call signing up for 11-2pm shift, dummy). Pretty much did jacksquat at work, as the fitness center wasn't an easy place to get work done when you're on no sleep, little food, and no caffeine. Get out at 2pm, rush to the library to try and re-do the first act and make some semblance of a second act. It's 3:50, I have 45 pages, but no second act lol. Geisler said if we were close that we could write a summary of the missing pages, and though 45 pages isn't as close as 54-55, oh wellz. I write a 2-page summary of the missing pages, and rush to Machmer to drop it off at the 4pm deadline. I drop it off , only to find out he hadn't been in his office all day. I better not have gotten the deadline wrong :(
I take an hour nap and some foodage, then head over to Berkshire DC for a last dinner with Cassie, Charlotte V, Erin, Michelle, Jenny and Eoin. I make a wry observation wondering why Charlotte Viera ISN'T always naked (gotta know the context of it all). Party in Sunderland later, but I took another nap and didn't wake up in time to catch the bus from Puffton, so I ended up driving there at 11:30. The door was locked, and everyone was out of there. Eoin says he got lost, I drive back to Amherst, then he says he thinks he's still in Sunderland, I drive back there to not find him, and it's getting really ridiculous/confusing. As I drive back from Sunderland, I hear an alarming, loud scraping towards the back of my car. I'm pretty worried that it's the backright balljoint I was told about a few months back, so I'm driving back in fear of my life that the wheel will fall off or something. Sidenote: I paid nine bucks from 7am-4:30pm or so for parking because I didn't want to waste a good 45 minutes driving my car back up to Ohill on Sunday night and walking back to the library.
Tuesday May 22 -
Didn't do a whole lot. Slept a good amount.
Wednesday May 23/Thursday May 24 -
Foxwoods. See poker blog for trip report on that.
Friday May 25 -
Pretty much did jacksquat, slept in what with the lack of sleep from the past two days. Got two pages of my Abolition and Anti-Slavery final paper that was due that day, and was incredibly distracted throughout the day and night with the moving things out, cleaning shit up, karoake with the parents and stepfather, and Kelly and her friends moving shit out. It's fucking impossible for me to get anything done when the library is closed :(
Saturday May 26 -
Move out of Umass forever. The last thing I ever hear at Umass is polka music on UVC-19. Skipped graduation because I'm not getting individually recognized for jack, nor was the Andy Card protest the same day, nor did we have a commencement speaker. Damn me for forgetting to bring back the Nestle Crunch Ice Cream Bars. Lunch at Wendy's. Then the awkwardness of having no job begins.
I'm in a horrible rut right now. No friends within 90 minutes of me is a real bummer, and even the ones in this state are never around. There's only one...thing holding me back from leaving and never coming back, and even that looks like it isn't going to amount to anything. Not saying I'm going to throw in the towel, but things don't look so hot. I dislike making this into a bad-beat/woah-is-me post, but it annoys me how a good amount of people I know (not naming names) have it SO easy. It doesn't make them bad people or junk, and I'm not saying they don't work hard in certain aspects, but aside from my car, NOTHING falls into my lap. NOTHING. I doubt anything ever will. As much as I respect that, when you're down in the dumps, it's tough to have hope when you know for certain you aren't going to get some lucky break, and that you're going to have to suffer for awhile for things to get better.