Riding the Vaucoos-novel progress
I've had a great week of progress on the fantasy novel I'm rewriting. Over 15k so far this week. I'm past the halfway mark and am at 58,000 words total. Mostly I'm giving the story "wings" by getting rid of a few lead shoes of unneeded exposition. And cutting some extraneous dialogue that doesn't need to be there.
Here's an excerpt from Chapter Eight where Prince Jovenal stumbles upon a group of pikemen who have become "trout-crazed zombie."
"Care for a bite?" one of the pikemen monotoned, though he eyed the two newcomers as if to say, Just don't take any of mine.
The peculiar fish odor wafted through the air and bombarded the prince. At first the pungent smell made him want to puke, then he was overcome by hunger. He hadn't eaten since noontide and, yes, fish, though raw, sounded quite good all of a sudden.
"Don't mind if I do," Jovenal said, moving toward the fish-laden pond.
"No!" Provarius cried. "This isn't right."
The next thing the prince knew, he was being hauled back into the woods by Provarius. He tried to pull away but found himself unable to, his legs weak, his head muzzy. "What is wrong with you, Magus?" Jovenal demanded, though lamely. "I'm hungry and those men were only offering me some of their catch."
"There is something wrong with the fish, man!" the magus said. He shook his friend's shoulders with both hands, his eyes twin beacons of imploring rationality. "Think, Kip, think!" He then took his periapt from around his neck and put it over the prince's head. Instantly the craving vanished and the prince came to his senses.
He took a deep breath. "Ah, I see now. Thanks, Provarius. I nearly fell under the sway of that dark magic."