Fic: Those Three Words
Those Three Words
By andieshep
Fandom: Eureka
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU
Rating: PG
Warning: Slash
Pairing: Nathan/Jack, Nathan/Allison (Past)
Summary: Stark always remembers the first time he says, ‘I love you.’
A/N: It’s kinda inspired once more by an icon made by the talented m00nfire. I’ve had it forever, and just one day this plot bunny hit me square in the head and refused to let go. Anyways, I ran with it and here we are. It’s dangerously angsty/sappy so just fair warning! Enjoy! :D
Disclaimer: I don’t own Eureka or any of it’s characters. *shakes fist* Those people never learned to share damn it! :(
*~*
He knows he must have said the words much earlier, but the first time Nathan Stark ever remembers saying those three words was in a hospital. Not only was it the first time he remembers saying, ‘I love you,’ but it’s also his first memory in general. It isn’t a happy memory that he could look back on with fondness. It may perhaps have been the worst day of his life, but it’s his first memory regardless, most likely because of what an impact it made on every day after.
He was five years old at the time. He remembers being awoken from sleep that night, his father in a rush as he helped him get dressed. He refused to tell Nathan where they were going. Once they were ready to leave Nathan remembers being picked up as his father rushed out to the car… Nathan was still half asleep and resistant to being disturbed from such a peaceful slumber. When they finally arrived to their destination Nathan had never felt more nervous in his life as his small hand was held tightly, his father pulling him into the large building and to the front desk. Nathan could recall being dragged franticly to a few desks and down a number of hallways before they finally reached a lobby, which was empty except for the nurse that had led them to the large room. His father bent down to tell him to be a ‘good boy’ and after kissing Nathan’s forehead he left the lobby, rushing back out into the hallway and into another room. Nathan had wanted to follow, scared that something had happened, that something was wrong. He’d never seen his father behave the way he was, and Nathan was suddenly wide awake. The nurse stopped him from following, taking his hand and Nathan could see the sad smile on her face.
It was hours before his father returned from the other room, walking back into the lobby, and Nathan was shocked to see the tears in his eyes as he collapsed onto a nearby bench. Nathan had never seen his father cry before. The nurse that had been watching him immediately left the room now that his guarding had returned, and Nathan remembered walking cautiously towards his father. He’d never seen his father look so lost. He was only a child, and he wasn’t really an expert at comfort. When Nathan was finally in front of his father he remembered laying his tiny hand over his father’s much larger one, hoping somehow the gentle touch would snap him out of the haze. When his father finally looked at him, Nathan had immediately moved in for a hug. In the past whenever Nathan had been upset about something a hug from his parents had always made things better somehow. Eyes closed as he held his father, and he remembered that moment when he said those three little words. “I love you.” They were whispered, and Nathan had wondered for a moment if his father had heard him, until he felt his father’s arms wrap tightly around him, and the tears only fell harder. A sob escaped his father’s throat. It wasn’t until later that he learned his mother had been killed in a car accident by a drunk driver… the reason for his father’s tears. It was a long time before Nathan could say those three words again.
*~*
Nathan Stark had fallen in love with many over the years, but there’d always been something special about Allison Blake. He’d fallen in love with her from almost the moment he met her, and when they’d begun their relationship he’d known rather quickly that he’d marry her one day. Despite being in love in the past, he’d never quite been able to say the words aloud. He’d tried more than once, lost some relationships because of his inability to say the words, but it had never felt right. With Allison things were different. At first he’d fallen in love with her son Kevin, a boy he’d been working with for work. Kevin Blake had autism and Nathan had slowly built a bond with the young boy just as a connection began to form with Kevin’s mother. Before he knew it he was head over heels, and he knew he couldn’t let her slip away.
They’d been dating for six months when Nathan finally said those three words, though Allison had said them many times before. It’d been way past Kevin’s bed time and Nathan remembered following the loving mother up the stairs to the young boy’s room. He watched Allie tuck him in, whispering words of comfort and love and Nathan couldn’t help but wonder if his mother had done the same with him when he’d been a child. He couldn’t remember, though he’d never stopped trying. He could see the light in Allison’s eyes when she looked at Kevin, could see without a doubt that she would do anything for him, and Nathan remembered feeling the shock as if cold water had been dumped over him when he realized he wanted to be there with her. He wanted to protect them both, be there for them both. He wanted to be a part of that family.
When Kevin had finally drifted off to sleep he remembered Allison’s subtle smile as she followed him back downstairs. They spent hours on her couch just talking… mostly about Kevin, and again Nathan was shocked by the strength of his feelings for her. He wasn’t used to that kind of love, especially when the relationship was still so new. He resisted at first, almost afraid to say the words. It wasn’t easy for him to express how he was feeling, especially when he was in the position to get hurt. He knew how he felt, but not what it meant. He remembered the questions that had floated around in his mind as Allison recounted memories of her son as a baby. Could she possibly be the one? Was she the woman he’d been waiting for? The answers hadn’t really mattered because when he saw the spark in her eyes he couldn’t control himself any longer. He leaned in quickly right in the middle of her story and kissed her gently. Nathan remembered how she froze for a moment before returning the kiss, and the curious look in her eyes when he finally pulled back. “I love you.” Nathan remembered how his heart had seemed to freeze when the words escaped his mouth, only to beat again when he saw her smile grow almost as bright as the sun. He’d known then that he’d made the right choice. They’d been happy for a long time… married less than a year later, but some things weren’t meant to last forever. Nathan knew he would always love her, but it had not been meant to be, and when years later he signed the papers for divorce he silently wondered if it would have been better if he’d never said those damn words at all.
*~*
His relationship with Sheriff Jack Carter had been explosive from the start. They’d been enemies in the beginning, the Sheriff being a persistent thorn in his side. Everyone in Eureka had seen the tension a mile away, and often found it amusing to watch the scientist and the Sheriff bicker and growl like two children fighting over the same toy. Allison had been caught in the middle of their feud, but slowly over the years those feelings of jealousy began to fade. Their fights, once dangerously close to violent, became playful and teasing. Nathan remembered Carter’s smile every time he’d question the Sheriff’s sanity and IQ. When lives were on the line they managed to work together surprisingly well, because despite all their differences they fit together… like the last two pieces of a complicated puzzle. Soon Nathan found himself respecting the Sheriff’s abilities… maybe even admiring them though that was something he would most likely be taking to his grave. That respect and admiration soon turned into love, and sudden Nathan found himself in the one position he’d swore he’d never be in again. He’d thought he’d learned his lesson after Allison, but it seemed he had not.
There was no fighting the intense feelings developing between them, and soon Nathan found himself dating once more. It hadn’t started off well, but then again, nothing between them ever had. Their relationship wasn’t as smooth as the one he’d shared with Allison. When Nathan missed a dinner because of work Jack called him on it. They still fought and butted heads as much as they ever had, but at the end of the day there was no where Nathan would rather have been than in Jack Carter’s arms kissing his lips and holding him tight. What he’d had with Jack was nothing like the relationship he’d had with Allison, and he soon found himself giving into hope. Suddenly he was happy again. Their relationship was passionate and Nathan never got the chance to build up any defenses, because every time he tried… Jack quickly pulled them down. He was exposed to Jack in a way he’d never been exposed to Allison. He was falling in love so fast and so deeply that there was no chance of escape.
Nathan still remembered the first time he realized he was in love with Jack Carter. The realization had hit him hard and fast, and he probably would have doubled over from the shock if he’d not been in the middle of a crisis. They’d been moments away from death, which Nathan supposed was usually the time when the biggest epiphanies were exposed. He remembered the look in Jack’s eyes as he tried to focus on the danger, the equations, and physics that would save their lives. If Nathan hadn’t found a way to bypass the activated systems they’d be vaporized in the bowls of a weapon made at Global for the DoD. Nathan remembered the trust in Jack’s eyes as he stood beside him, silently supporting him and reminding him that he could find a way… that he was supposed to be a genius and he would save them all. Nathan hadn’t realized how much he depended on Jack until that moment, hadn’t realized how much he needed Jack’s trust. He saved the town that day, and managed to power down the weapon with seconds to spare. In that moment when he’d pulled Jack into his arms and kissed him with a desperation that left him shaking he knew that he loved this man… this frustrating, challenging, terrifying, passionate, and over all amazing man.
Nathan remembered breaking their kiss, his forehead resting on Jack’s as they panted for air, their breaths intermingling. Their arms were wrapped around each other in a position so much more intimate than Nathan would have expected. It was a rare moment when the world seemed to stop moving, time froze and it was just Nathan and him. Often Nathan had heard about such moments of clarity, that they were rare and special. He’d never taken much stock in such experiences, but his opinion changed in the blink of an eye, because he’d known without a doubt that he was having one of those moments. He loved Jack Carter with every bone in his body. He loved fighting with him, he loved laughing with him, he loved kissing him, he loved making love to him.
Nathan remembered how he’d expected to be afraid of this feeling. He’d expected the same fear he’d felt when he’d realized he loved Allison, but it never came. He waited for his heart to stop beating, or at least beat faster, but nothing changed. He waited for minutes, holding Jack, expecting the fear to hit him… only, there was no fear. The love he felt was strong and overpowering… so intense it took Nathan’s breath away. In that moment he’d wanted to scream it as loud as he could. He’d wanted to say it over and over again for the rest of his life. It took all his self-control to resist this temptation. Instead, Nathan remembered pulling back and staring into Jack’s cool blue eyes, so filled with warmth and devotion. Finally he said those three little words. “I love you.” When the words left his mouth he couldn’t stop the smile anymore than he could stop the Earth from orbiting the Sun. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest and he’d never felt so free.
Jack didn’t smile back; in fact, he’d seemed rather surprised by the words. Nathan remembered how he’d had to fight back a laugh as Jack stumbled over his words, babbling like the idiot he was. When the Sheriff realized he was making a fool of himself he finally paused, took a breath, and said the three words back. Nathan didn’t doubt those words for a minute, and they’d kissed for a long time after that, enjoying the private moment that would change their lives from then on. Nathan remembered how desperately Jack kissed him, as if he were Jack’s world. Nathan didn’t want to leave Jack’s arms, would have liked to keep kissing him and holding him forever, but they were forced back into the real world with the sound of Allison’s voice on the radio, asking if they were okay. Nathan remembered the worry in her voice, and the amusement he felt as he realized he’d forgotten just how close they’d been to getting themselves killed. He watched Jack report to Allison, assure her of their safety, and they soon left the small chamber to great those waiting anxiously for news. Nathan remembered that night as if it were yesterday. That night they made love for almost the entire night. In the morning they’d awoke in each other’s arms, calling in sick, because frankly, they needed the day off. Jack made sure Nathan never regretted saying those three words everyday for the rest of their lives. Nathan would never forget the first time he’d told Jack he loved him. They were three little words, but nothing could ever be more powerful. Nathan loved Jack Carter… and he always would.
The End
By andieshep
Fandom: Eureka
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU
Rating: PG
Warning: Slash
Pairing: Nathan/Jack, Nathan/Allison (Past)
Summary: Stark always remembers the first time he says, ‘I love you.’
A/N: It’s kinda inspired once more by an icon made by the talented m00nfire. I’ve had it forever, and just one day this plot bunny hit me square in the head and refused to let go. Anyways, I ran with it and here we are. It’s dangerously angsty/sappy so just fair warning! Enjoy! :D
Disclaimer: I don’t own Eureka or any of it’s characters. *shakes fist* Those people never learned to share damn it! :(
*~*
He knows he must have said the words much earlier, but the first time Nathan Stark ever remembers saying those three words was in a hospital. Not only was it the first time he remembers saying, ‘I love you,’ but it’s also his first memory in general. It isn’t a happy memory that he could look back on with fondness. It may perhaps have been the worst day of his life, but it’s his first memory regardless, most likely because of what an impact it made on every day after.
He was five years old at the time. He remembers being awoken from sleep that night, his father in a rush as he helped him get dressed. He refused to tell Nathan where they were going. Once they were ready to leave Nathan remembers being picked up as his father rushed out to the car… Nathan was still half asleep and resistant to being disturbed from such a peaceful slumber. When they finally arrived to their destination Nathan had never felt more nervous in his life as his small hand was held tightly, his father pulling him into the large building and to the front desk. Nathan could recall being dragged franticly to a few desks and down a number of hallways before they finally reached a lobby, which was empty except for the nurse that had led them to the large room. His father bent down to tell him to be a ‘good boy’ and after kissing Nathan’s forehead he left the lobby, rushing back out into the hallway and into another room. Nathan had wanted to follow, scared that something had happened, that something was wrong. He’d never seen his father behave the way he was, and Nathan was suddenly wide awake. The nurse stopped him from following, taking his hand and Nathan could see the sad smile on her face.
It was hours before his father returned from the other room, walking back into the lobby, and Nathan was shocked to see the tears in his eyes as he collapsed onto a nearby bench. Nathan had never seen his father cry before. The nurse that had been watching him immediately left the room now that his guarding had returned, and Nathan remembered walking cautiously towards his father. He’d never seen his father look so lost. He was only a child, and he wasn’t really an expert at comfort. When Nathan was finally in front of his father he remembered laying his tiny hand over his father’s much larger one, hoping somehow the gentle touch would snap him out of the haze. When his father finally looked at him, Nathan had immediately moved in for a hug. In the past whenever Nathan had been upset about something a hug from his parents had always made things better somehow. Eyes closed as he held his father, and he remembered that moment when he said those three little words. “I love you.” They were whispered, and Nathan had wondered for a moment if his father had heard him, until he felt his father’s arms wrap tightly around him, and the tears only fell harder. A sob escaped his father’s throat. It wasn’t until later that he learned his mother had been killed in a car accident by a drunk driver… the reason for his father’s tears. It was a long time before Nathan could say those three words again.
*~*
Nathan Stark had fallen in love with many over the years, but there’d always been something special about Allison Blake. He’d fallen in love with her from almost the moment he met her, and when they’d begun their relationship he’d known rather quickly that he’d marry her one day. Despite being in love in the past, he’d never quite been able to say the words aloud. He’d tried more than once, lost some relationships because of his inability to say the words, but it had never felt right. With Allison things were different. At first he’d fallen in love with her son Kevin, a boy he’d been working with for work. Kevin Blake had autism and Nathan had slowly built a bond with the young boy just as a connection began to form with Kevin’s mother. Before he knew it he was head over heels, and he knew he couldn’t let her slip away.
They’d been dating for six months when Nathan finally said those three words, though Allison had said them many times before. It’d been way past Kevin’s bed time and Nathan remembered following the loving mother up the stairs to the young boy’s room. He watched Allie tuck him in, whispering words of comfort and love and Nathan couldn’t help but wonder if his mother had done the same with him when he’d been a child. He couldn’t remember, though he’d never stopped trying. He could see the light in Allison’s eyes when she looked at Kevin, could see without a doubt that she would do anything for him, and Nathan remembered feeling the shock as if cold water had been dumped over him when he realized he wanted to be there with her. He wanted to protect them both, be there for them both. He wanted to be a part of that family.
When Kevin had finally drifted off to sleep he remembered Allison’s subtle smile as she followed him back downstairs. They spent hours on her couch just talking… mostly about Kevin, and again Nathan was shocked by the strength of his feelings for her. He wasn’t used to that kind of love, especially when the relationship was still so new. He resisted at first, almost afraid to say the words. It wasn’t easy for him to express how he was feeling, especially when he was in the position to get hurt. He knew how he felt, but not what it meant. He remembered the questions that had floated around in his mind as Allison recounted memories of her son as a baby. Could she possibly be the one? Was she the woman he’d been waiting for? The answers hadn’t really mattered because when he saw the spark in her eyes he couldn’t control himself any longer. He leaned in quickly right in the middle of her story and kissed her gently. Nathan remembered how she froze for a moment before returning the kiss, and the curious look in her eyes when he finally pulled back. “I love you.” Nathan remembered how his heart had seemed to freeze when the words escaped his mouth, only to beat again when he saw her smile grow almost as bright as the sun. He’d known then that he’d made the right choice. They’d been happy for a long time… married less than a year later, but some things weren’t meant to last forever. Nathan knew he would always love her, but it had not been meant to be, and when years later he signed the papers for divorce he silently wondered if it would have been better if he’d never said those damn words at all.
*~*
His relationship with Sheriff Jack Carter had been explosive from the start. They’d been enemies in the beginning, the Sheriff being a persistent thorn in his side. Everyone in Eureka had seen the tension a mile away, and often found it amusing to watch the scientist and the Sheriff bicker and growl like two children fighting over the same toy. Allison had been caught in the middle of their feud, but slowly over the years those feelings of jealousy began to fade. Their fights, once dangerously close to violent, became playful and teasing. Nathan remembered Carter’s smile every time he’d question the Sheriff’s sanity and IQ. When lives were on the line they managed to work together surprisingly well, because despite all their differences they fit together… like the last two pieces of a complicated puzzle. Soon Nathan found himself respecting the Sheriff’s abilities… maybe even admiring them though that was something he would most likely be taking to his grave. That respect and admiration soon turned into love, and sudden Nathan found himself in the one position he’d swore he’d never be in again. He’d thought he’d learned his lesson after Allison, but it seemed he had not.
There was no fighting the intense feelings developing between them, and soon Nathan found himself dating once more. It hadn’t started off well, but then again, nothing between them ever had. Their relationship wasn’t as smooth as the one he’d shared with Allison. When Nathan missed a dinner because of work Jack called him on it. They still fought and butted heads as much as they ever had, but at the end of the day there was no where Nathan would rather have been than in Jack Carter’s arms kissing his lips and holding him tight. What he’d had with Jack was nothing like the relationship he’d had with Allison, and he soon found himself giving into hope. Suddenly he was happy again. Their relationship was passionate and Nathan never got the chance to build up any defenses, because every time he tried… Jack quickly pulled them down. He was exposed to Jack in a way he’d never been exposed to Allison. He was falling in love so fast and so deeply that there was no chance of escape.
Nathan still remembered the first time he realized he was in love with Jack Carter. The realization had hit him hard and fast, and he probably would have doubled over from the shock if he’d not been in the middle of a crisis. They’d been moments away from death, which Nathan supposed was usually the time when the biggest epiphanies were exposed. He remembered the look in Jack’s eyes as he tried to focus on the danger, the equations, and physics that would save their lives. If Nathan hadn’t found a way to bypass the activated systems they’d be vaporized in the bowls of a weapon made at Global for the DoD. Nathan remembered the trust in Jack’s eyes as he stood beside him, silently supporting him and reminding him that he could find a way… that he was supposed to be a genius and he would save them all. Nathan hadn’t realized how much he depended on Jack until that moment, hadn’t realized how much he needed Jack’s trust. He saved the town that day, and managed to power down the weapon with seconds to spare. In that moment when he’d pulled Jack into his arms and kissed him with a desperation that left him shaking he knew that he loved this man… this frustrating, challenging, terrifying, passionate, and over all amazing man.
Nathan remembered breaking their kiss, his forehead resting on Jack’s as they panted for air, their breaths intermingling. Their arms were wrapped around each other in a position so much more intimate than Nathan would have expected. It was a rare moment when the world seemed to stop moving, time froze and it was just Nathan and him. Often Nathan had heard about such moments of clarity, that they were rare and special. He’d never taken much stock in such experiences, but his opinion changed in the blink of an eye, because he’d known without a doubt that he was having one of those moments. He loved Jack Carter with every bone in his body. He loved fighting with him, he loved laughing with him, he loved kissing him, he loved making love to him.
Nathan remembered how he’d expected to be afraid of this feeling. He’d expected the same fear he’d felt when he’d realized he loved Allison, but it never came. He waited for his heart to stop beating, or at least beat faster, but nothing changed. He waited for minutes, holding Jack, expecting the fear to hit him… only, there was no fear. The love he felt was strong and overpowering… so intense it took Nathan’s breath away. In that moment he’d wanted to scream it as loud as he could. He’d wanted to say it over and over again for the rest of his life. It took all his self-control to resist this temptation. Instead, Nathan remembered pulling back and staring into Jack’s cool blue eyes, so filled with warmth and devotion. Finally he said those three little words. “I love you.” When the words left his mouth he couldn’t stop the smile anymore than he could stop the Earth from orbiting the Sun. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest and he’d never felt so free.
Jack didn’t smile back; in fact, he’d seemed rather surprised by the words. Nathan remembered how he’d had to fight back a laugh as Jack stumbled over his words, babbling like the idiot he was. When the Sheriff realized he was making a fool of himself he finally paused, took a breath, and said the three words back. Nathan didn’t doubt those words for a minute, and they’d kissed for a long time after that, enjoying the private moment that would change their lives from then on. Nathan remembered how desperately Jack kissed him, as if he were Jack’s world. Nathan didn’t want to leave Jack’s arms, would have liked to keep kissing him and holding him forever, but they were forced back into the real world with the sound of Allison’s voice on the radio, asking if they were okay. Nathan remembered the worry in her voice, and the amusement he felt as he realized he’d forgotten just how close they’d been to getting themselves killed. He watched Jack report to Allison, assure her of their safety, and they soon left the small chamber to great those waiting anxiously for news. Nathan remembered that night as if it were yesterday. That night they made love for almost the entire night. In the morning they’d awoke in each other’s arms, calling in sick, because frankly, they needed the day off. Jack made sure Nathan never regretted saying those three words everyday for the rest of their lives. Nathan would never forget the first time he’d told Jack he loved him. They were three little words, but nothing could ever be more powerful. Nathan loved Jack Carter… and he always would.
The End