"CANt sleep on this painful NIGHT"

[marsgurl06]

I'm here.....and i cant go to sleep at all.I keep thinking shit i've done......stuff i wanted to do as if on purpose to see how truly people act and think of me.I got them mad didnt I?HAHAHAHAHAHAHa.............I hate me right now.....because it aint me anymore.I'm leaving soon and i cant wait to start my new life over there in nicaragua......a life that was taken away from me in a way.So no more me,no more of my shit and stupidity.Maybe i can finally have my peace and wont have to worry of my actions.Or how people can be so cruel and so sinile.Life is so weird and confusing....especially mines right now.First people say they care when they dont ,u cant trust anybody anymore,and people lie.They tell u they love u and that ur special to them.........but they only treat u like shit,and they stab u in the heart with every word that comes out of their mouth.U want to help them so they can be happy......but it doesnt matter because u make things worse.So they end up hating u and disliking u.U try to be there for them but they just push u away and than nothing was like it used to be......they forget that they love u.And than dats when it hit me....I have always try to be there for people.....but where have they been for me when i needed them the most.When i needed someone to talk to but they were just too damn busy or out.Or how they forget ur there when someone else comes along.lmfao ....or when they promise nothing will ever change and that they were always gonna be there and never leave you.As I cry and my heart begans to burn i realize that i'm no one because i have lost myself and people that I truly love dont care about me anymore......they just push me away and break me more and more.SO here's my last song i dedicate ....good bye.ANd i hope all of ur life's come out to be happy.

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am

[chorus]
Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am

[chorus]

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]

[chorus]

Slight hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption