Hi! You don't know me, but I found your post journal surfing and felt compelled to reply.
My name is Teressa, and I had an abortion at the age of 18, almost 11 years ago. To this day, it was one of the best descisions I have ever made. The reasoning for this falls into the question of what you were asking.
I was 18, fresh out of foster care, didn't know how to hold down a job, an apartment, a bank account, any of that. I didn't have any adults I could rely on (my foster mother had kicked me out once the state money ran out and of course I couldn't go back to my parents). None of my friends had family that I could rely on for support. I was a drug addict at the time, and there's a good chance that the child I concieved would have been damaged in utero from the drug use. I was struggling with abuse issues, and had just enough sanity to know that I would likely repeat the cycles of abuse that had been done to me.
Adoption was not a choice that I considered very long, as adoption rates are actually extremely low in the US, and having been in the foster care system, I did not want my child to have to suffer that.
Abortion isn't pretty, and it's good that you didn't whitewash the facts. Those who paint it as nothing more than a bump in the road of a woman are perhaps a bit delluded - it can be a reasonable choice. It can even be a good choice. It is rarely without it's emotional complications, however.
I am really impressed by the wording of your post - you were able to ask the question in a sane and sensible manner. That's positive and encouraging. Good luck on your search, I hope you get some answers that help you understand!
Adoption rates in the US are low only when you consider children rather than babies. The waitlist for adopting a baby is so long that hopeful couples are turning to international adoption. It's really sad, because they ignore the children in the foster care system. However, a baby put up for adoption in the US almost always has a forever home awaiting him or her before his or her name ever gets on the adoption list.
I'm sorry about your experience. I wonder if you believe it would have been better for you to have your life ended at a young age? I'm encouraged that you seem to recognize, at least on some level, the humanity of the child you lost.
I have to disagree with you on the point of whether abortion can be a good choice for the child involved, though. I personally would prefer not to have another, even my own mom, decide that my life was sad and that I would be better off dead. Should I decide that my life is, in fact, so miserable that I would rather end it, I would rather have the opportunity to make that choice and act on it myself.
My name is Teressa, and I had an abortion at the age of 18, almost 11 years ago. To this day, it was one of the best descisions I have ever made. The reasoning for this falls into the question of what you were asking.
I was 18, fresh out of foster care, didn't know how to hold down a job, an apartment, a bank account, any of that. I didn't have any adults I could rely on (my foster mother had kicked me out once the state money ran out and of course I couldn't go back to my parents). None of my friends had family that I could rely on for support. I was a drug addict at the time, and there's a good chance that the child I concieved would have been damaged in utero from the drug use. I was struggling with abuse issues, and had just enough sanity to know that I would likely repeat the cycles of abuse that had been done to me.
Adoption was not a choice that I considered very long, as adoption rates are actually extremely low in the US, and having been in the foster care system, I did not want my child to have to suffer that.
Abortion isn't pretty, and it's good that you didn't whitewash the facts. Those who paint it as nothing more than a bump in the road of a woman are perhaps a bit delluded - it can be a reasonable choice. It can even be a good choice. It is rarely without it's emotional complications, however.
I am really impressed by the wording of your post - you were able to ask the question in a sane and sensible manner. That's positive and encouraging. Good luck on your search, I hope you get some answers that help you understand!
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I'm sorry about your experience. I wonder if you believe it would have been better for you to have your life ended at a young age? I'm encouraged that you seem to recognize, at least on some level, the humanity of the child you lost.
I have to disagree with you on the point of whether abortion can be a good choice for the child involved, though. I personally would prefer not to have another, even my own mom, decide that my life was sad and that I would be better off dead. Should I decide that my life is, in fact, so miserable that I would rather end it, I would rather have the opportunity to make that choice and act on it myself.
Best wishes.
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