What do you guys think? Should I continue?
If you're Tina, please don't read
i have so many insecurites about my writing and you and I'm really not prepared to share something like this with you at the moment. while i am posting it publically, please, please, don't read.
Okay. Back to normal.
Writing at midnight proves interesting. And introduces my first bisexual character. What do you guys think about him? I'm unsure of whether to continue - but I've got at least three more scenes up after this if I do.
Rae sunk down on the floor, gripping the mans thighs in front of him, resting his head against them. “Please,” he requested, his arms shaking. “I’m tired.”
“Whore,” the person muttered, kicking at his hip. “Come on. What are you good for?”
He looked around, eyes darting, attempting to focus. “We can’t do it here anyway. “
“Where do you want to go then, faeire?”
He trembled, his fingers digging into the firm thigh, his head dropping lower. “I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”
“Boys one, this time.” The man stepped back, ruffling the thin, cropped hair on Rae’s head. “Come on.”
“A second, please.”
“Fine.”
Rae grunted as the man left, and sunk into a pool of limbs on the floor, wrapping his shaking arms around his torso. Holding yourself together? He laughed, before his head hit the side of the ground, and his vision began to blur. Teen angst. That’s all you are.
He wished he was a teenager again.
Someone stepped on him, and he groaned, turning over, holding up his arms to shield his eyes from the strobing light. “Fuck.”
“Shit, sorry - I - Kyle, what the fuck?”
“It’s not my fault.”
The two men stopped, and Rae felt a hand on his arm, lifting him up, someone squatting behind him. “We can’t just leave him here,” the first man said, his voice soft. “Come on. Come home with us.”
“You keep forgetting that it’s my fucking home, Enrich. Look at him, he’s tripped out on acid or some shit.”
“Like you’re any better!” The hold on his arm tightened momentarily, and Rae winced. “Sorry. I’m Enrich. He’s Kyle.”
“Great, now he knows our names.” Kyle paused, looking down at him. “Are you going to get up, kid?”
Without waiting for an answer, Kyle grabbed his wrist and jerked him up. Rae stumbled, the pain in his ankle flaring up again.
“Yeah, awesome. Ain’t you got anywhere to be?”
“I’ve got to go - um, bathroom.” He glanced over at the women’s, before shaking his head - the man had told him to meet in the men’s. And that was a few minutes ago. He’d be getting impatient by now. “Uh, sorry. See you around.”
The other man - Enrich - spoke then, his voice an odd contrast to the thumping bass.“Kyle.”
Kyle sighed, leaning back, keeping a firm hold around Rae’s wrist. “I thought you had an issue with me fucking other people?”
Two hands encircled him from behind, trapping him. “I think he needs a break. I’ll talk with him. You go fix up the guy.”
Rae stared between the two, shaking his head. Why? “No. I’ve - I’ve got it. Thanks though.”
“Only thing you’re getting is a drink.” Enrich paused, and something settled over his shoulder, weighing him down. “Kyle.”
“Fine,” Kyle grumbled, spinning on his heel. “You owe me for this. I’m not even working.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Enrich sighed, pressing on the left of Rae’s hip to turn him. “You drink, right?”
Rae shook his head again, unable to believe his luck, following the stranger to the bar. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. I don’t care anymore.”
Enrich paused, handing him a glass full of clear liquid. “Not all at once,” he warned. “You don’t look well.”
“I’ve not been well in all my life.’ He took a gulp and winced, his throat setting alight with the toxic liquid. “Look, thanks…but why?”
“You needed it.” Enrich shrugged, taking a sip of hsiu own drink, leading him to a table. “Now talk. You look like you’ve been through hell.”
Rae chuckled, wincing again. “Something like that.”
“Come on.” Enrich leaned forward across the table, pressing Rae’s hand down so tht he left his drink on the wood. “Talk to me. What’s your name?”
“Rae.” It came out as a sigh; defeat.
Another stare, just as always. “Isn’t that-“
“-None of your damn business.”
Enrich stared for another moment. “Come home with me.”
“I’m really not in the mood for fucking tonight, sorry.” The liquor was almost all gone now; he was sure you could see the flames leaping out every time he talked. “Maybe next time.”
Enrich reached over, taking the glass away, sweeping it across the table. “I wasn’t asking.” His voice was a deliberate cool; surely he couldn’t be in the closest, being here. “You’re going to sleep on the couch?”
A bitter laugh. “Why?”
“Because I haven’t got another bed. Now. Come.” Enrich stood up, pulling him out of his chair, dragging him out of the club. “Kyle will catch up later.”
“You’ve got food right?”
Enrich rolled his eyes. “Yes. We have food. Now would you stop arguing and just drag your sorry arse to my place?”
“What kind of food?” Rae felt a silly smile spread across his face, and tried to hide it - smother it. He couldn’t show this. He wasn’t himself with people he was fucking. They were just a fuck and food. It was all. He could go back to being Rae with Fiona. Tomorrow. He’d smile then. Not now.
“Food. Now shut your fucking mouth.”
And fuck me, Rae added on, silent.
---
i have so many insecurites about my writing and you and I'm really not prepared to share something like this with you at the moment. while i am posting it publically, please, please, don't read.
Okay. Back to normal.
Writing at midnight proves interesting. And introduces my first bisexual character. What do you guys think about him? I'm unsure of whether to continue - but I've got at least three more scenes up after this if I do.
Rae sunk down on the floor, gripping the mans thighs in front of him, resting his head against them. “Please,” he requested, his arms shaking. “I’m tired.”
“Whore,” the person muttered, kicking at his hip. “Come on. What are you good for?”
He looked around, eyes darting, attempting to focus. “We can’t do it here anyway. “
“Where do you want to go then, faeire?”
He trembled, his fingers digging into the firm thigh, his head dropping lower. “I’ll meet you in the bathroom.”
“Boys one, this time.” The man stepped back, ruffling the thin, cropped hair on Rae’s head. “Come on.”
“A second, please.”
“Fine.”
Rae grunted as the man left, and sunk into a pool of limbs on the floor, wrapping his shaking arms around his torso. Holding yourself together? He laughed, before his head hit the side of the ground, and his vision began to blur. Teen angst. That’s all you are.
He wished he was a teenager again.
Someone stepped on him, and he groaned, turning over, holding up his arms to shield his eyes from the strobing light. “Fuck.”
“Shit, sorry - I - Kyle, what the fuck?”
“It’s not my fault.”
The two men stopped, and Rae felt a hand on his arm, lifting him up, someone squatting behind him. “We can’t just leave him here,” the first man said, his voice soft. “Come on. Come home with us.”
“You keep forgetting that it’s my fucking home, Enrich. Look at him, he’s tripped out on acid or some shit.”
“Like you’re any better!” The hold on his arm tightened momentarily, and Rae winced. “Sorry. I’m Enrich. He’s Kyle.”
“Great, now he knows our names.” Kyle paused, looking down at him. “Are you going to get up, kid?”
Without waiting for an answer, Kyle grabbed his wrist and jerked him up. Rae stumbled, the pain in his ankle flaring up again.
“Yeah, awesome. Ain’t you got anywhere to be?”
“I’ve got to go - um, bathroom.” He glanced over at the women’s, before shaking his head - the man had told him to meet in the men’s. And that was a few minutes ago. He’d be getting impatient by now. “Uh, sorry. See you around.”
The other man - Enrich - spoke then, his voice an odd contrast to the thumping bass.“Kyle.”
Kyle sighed, leaning back, keeping a firm hold around Rae’s wrist. “I thought you had an issue with me fucking other people?”
Two hands encircled him from behind, trapping him. “I think he needs a break. I’ll talk with him. You go fix up the guy.”
Rae stared between the two, shaking his head. Why? “No. I’ve - I’ve got it. Thanks though.”
“Only thing you’re getting is a drink.” Enrich paused, and something settled over his shoulder, weighing him down. “Kyle.”
“Fine,” Kyle grumbled, spinning on his heel. “You owe me for this. I’m not even working.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Enrich sighed, pressing on the left of Rae’s hip to turn him. “You drink, right?”
Rae shook his head again, unable to believe his luck, following the stranger to the bar. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. I don’t care anymore.”
Enrich paused, handing him a glass full of clear liquid. “Not all at once,” he warned. “You don’t look well.”
“I’ve not been well in all my life.’ He took a gulp and winced, his throat setting alight with the toxic liquid. “Look, thanks…but why?”
“You needed it.” Enrich shrugged, taking a sip of hsiu own drink, leading him to a table. “Now talk. You look like you’ve been through hell.”
Rae chuckled, wincing again. “Something like that.”
“Come on.” Enrich leaned forward across the table, pressing Rae’s hand down so tht he left his drink on the wood. “Talk to me. What’s your name?”
“Rae.” It came out as a sigh; defeat.
Another stare, just as always. “Isn’t that-“
“-None of your damn business.”
Enrich stared for another moment. “Come home with me.”
“I’m really not in the mood for fucking tonight, sorry.” The liquor was almost all gone now; he was sure you could see the flames leaping out every time he talked. “Maybe next time.”
Enrich reached over, taking the glass away, sweeping it across the table. “I wasn’t asking.” His voice was a deliberate cool; surely he couldn’t be in the closest, being here. “You’re going to sleep on the couch?”
A bitter laugh. “Why?”
“Because I haven’t got another bed. Now. Come.” Enrich stood up, pulling him out of his chair, dragging him out of the club. “Kyle will catch up later.”
“You’ve got food right?”
Enrich rolled his eyes. “Yes. We have food. Now would you stop arguing and just drag your sorry arse to my place?”
“What kind of food?” Rae felt a silly smile spread across his face, and tried to hide it - smother it. He couldn’t show this. He wasn’t himself with people he was fucking. They were just a fuck and food. It was all. He could go back to being Rae with Fiona. Tomorrow. He’d smile then. Not now.
“Food. Now shut your fucking mouth.”
And fuck me, Rae added on, silent.
---