strange and beautiful
Closed Chapter on the Love of My Life
Once the fire, once the pain in my side. Once the man whom I had desired, the man whom I had imagined my life to be spent with, has now become my best friend. This person has now become a closed chapter, of happiness, memories, and just being that, my first love. The one that set the standards of how else I will love others. Reveiwing so many memories in my head, I have lost touch of making more. Holding on to a love, has left me with empty hands and wasted time. Lies, and too many doses of nightmares, have left me exhaugsted, and now I am letting go, watching this love become what I had fought so hard to overcome. But I look at it now, and I am astounded to see how beautiful it has all become. This man worries about me, tries to look out for me, wants the best for me, and really does love me. This man trusts me, and I trust him. This is someone I love unconditionally, but not to be confused with In Love. For this is my best friend, this is someone I grow old with, but with separate families, separate lives, both joined with eachother. Together, we can still rule the world...
And I wish I could explain to everyone in the world, how precious and wonderful it is to love and lose, how much we need to feel, and love is there to break us when we feel invincable. Love is there to keep us waking up the next day, look for our fix, just someone to touch, hold, moreover love.
** ** ** ** ** **
The past few months, my nose has been running, my toes have been steadily tapping my life away. Days spent behind a computer, the next a mirror, and next a line. All fearful if i knew I wouldn't have that the next day. Like the mirror, my face has become familiar, all words spoken in hopes someone will decode them and figure me out. Sleepily I lay, forgetting about the other part of me who longs to scribble words of creative ipifanies, instead I lie there, numbing myself from the feeling of thinking too much. I make up designs on the popcorn celing, and I pretend I am in my old room, grounded maybe, and I daydream as if the world was still my playground.
In a sense it still is. And I need it too be that way.
*** *** *** *** *** **
I guess you can probably tell I got some weed recently, hence why all the babble. To be honest I don't think I can ever live without it. I would gladly replace any other drug I do with some mary jane.
-Tam
Once the fire, once the pain in my side. Once the man whom I had desired, the man whom I had imagined my life to be spent with, has now become my best friend. This person has now become a closed chapter, of happiness, memories, and just being that, my first love. The one that set the standards of how else I will love others. Reveiwing so many memories in my head, I have lost touch of making more. Holding on to a love, has left me with empty hands and wasted time. Lies, and too many doses of nightmares, have left me exhaugsted, and now I am letting go, watching this love become what I had fought so hard to overcome. But I look at it now, and I am astounded to see how beautiful it has all become. This man worries about me, tries to look out for me, wants the best for me, and really does love me. This man trusts me, and I trust him. This is someone I love unconditionally, but not to be confused with In Love. For this is my best friend, this is someone I grow old with, but with separate families, separate lives, both joined with eachother. Together, we can still rule the world...
And I wish I could explain to everyone in the world, how precious and wonderful it is to love and lose, how much we need to feel, and love is there to break us when we feel invincable. Love is there to keep us waking up the next day, look for our fix, just someone to touch, hold, moreover love.
** ** ** ** ** **
The past few months, my nose has been running, my toes have been steadily tapping my life away. Days spent behind a computer, the next a mirror, and next a line. All fearful if i knew I wouldn't have that the next day. Like the mirror, my face has become familiar, all words spoken in hopes someone will decode them and figure me out. Sleepily I lay, forgetting about the other part of me who longs to scribble words of creative ipifanies, instead I lie there, numbing myself from the feeling of thinking too much. I make up designs on the popcorn celing, and I pretend I am in my old room, grounded maybe, and I daydream as if the world was still my playground.
In a sense it still is. And I need it too be that way.
*** *** *** *** *** **
I guess you can probably tell I got some weed recently, hence why all the babble. To be honest I don't think I can ever live without it. I would gladly replace any other drug I do with some mary jane.
-Tam