Oh hey eric, i suggest, you read the second section, it's part of what i have to say to you.
I can't wait for saturday. Y'all should come. If you don't, ur missing out. I have this erie feeling that less people are going to show up than i expect. But meh, i guess we'll see.
Not all that much has happened. Oh, well i finally got to chill with my brother away from the house. We went to the beach with veronica late at night. we sat around finishing off some of my booze then veronica and i went swimming, she was drunk, i was half drunk and now that i think about it, it probly wasn't that great of an idea! Meh, we're alright tho. Then dropped V-car off then came home and we watched this hilarious comedian who i can't remember the name of then watched some south park then went to bed. fun stuff.
then last night was july 4th. went to oak hill. boring as hell. good ice-cream tho. then went over to the radlers and had a new kind of smirnoff twisted that i hadn't tried. It was quite good. Justin set off some fire works, it was cool. I did sparklers.
I played pool all day. Mad fun. I'm starting to get good again. I sucked balls at first. But i'm good now.
WHOA! HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Just coming back to finish this, um, the douche bag, i mean eric, imed me. what the fucking hell is going on? It's a really good thing i went out for a while to chill out cuz i probly would have broken my computer. yah know, picked it up, slammed it on the floor. set it on fire. then probly set my entire house on fire. then gotten in my car and driven though his house as veronica so wants me to do. he appologized to me. Shocking. Don't trust it. never will. I've learned NOT to trust people who completely tear me apart and use me. Now he has some fucking nerve. First thing he said to me was 'idiot'. Yeah eric, very smart thing to say to someone who has come close to turning around and running you over. VERY FUCKING SMART. I would have said the exact same thing in your position. He also said at one point not to get cocky. go to hell, i'll be cocky if i want. Better than feeling like shit all the time because of all the damn things you said to me. Such a pessemistic bastard. and if he reads this, which i almost hope he does, he'll probly get annoyed and i'll laugh, because i really could care less. How the hell am i supposed to forgive him.
please someone. tell me how i'm supposed to forgive someone who hurt me that bad. Who made me cry day after day, who still makes me cry every once in a while because of what he did to me. How am i supposed to forgive someone who i let come so close to me and just left me to rot. I realize he has problems, i realize he has shit going on in his life. But honestly, when my dad left us, i never hurt anyone. when my dad was screaming at me for hours on end i never hurt anyone. When my father was tearing my mother to shreads before my eyes, did i use anyone the way he used me? No, never. It's not an excuse. I've been going though a terrible bout of depression. I can't sleep, can't eat. I got mono because of how emotionally stressed i was. And yet i still don't do what he did to me. How can i forgive someone, when i can't find any reason for why they would do it to me.
Idk, maybe i'll eventually find some tiny way to forgive him, but i will never forget what he did. It will always stay with me. and i will always be looking for someone to do this to me again.
mmm, i'll tell yah what tho, if he pulls any bullshit on this vacation, i will rip him down. He says nothing can affect him, but i garentee i can get to him if i have to, and i will defend myself. I've gotten QUITE good at insulting.
i hate how i've become so...
hateful.
I'm not that kind of person. But he just... hurt me so damn much that i feel like i always have to defend myself from everything.
oh well, im an immensely strong person. I can deal with anything that goes my way, i've proven it over and over again and will once more if i have to.
Oh my fucking god, i can't wait to leave.
Not all that much has happened. Oh, well i finally got to chill with my brother away from the house. We went to the beach with veronica late at night. we sat around finishing off some of my booze then veronica and i went swimming, she was drunk, i was half drunk and now that i think about it, it probly wasn't that great of an idea! Meh, we're alright tho. Then dropped V-car off then came home and we watched this hilarious comedian who i can't remember the name of then watched some south park then went to bed. fun stuff.
then last night was july 4th. went to oak hill. boring as hell. good ice-cream tho. then went over to the radlers and had a new kind of smirnoff twisted that i hadn't tried. It was quite good. Justin set off some fire works, it was cool. I did sparklers.
I played pool all day. Mad fun. I'm starting to get good again. I sucked balls at first. But i'm good now.
WHOA! HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Just coming back to finish this, um, the douche bag, i mean eric, imed me. what the fucking hell is going on? It's a really good thing i went out for a while to chill out cuz i probly would have broken my computer. yah know, picked it up, slammed it on the floor. set it on fire. then probly set my entire house on fire. then gotten in my car and driven though his house as veronica so wants me to do. he appologized to me. Shocking. Don't trust it. never will. I've learned NOT to trust people who completely tear me apart and use me. Now he has some fucking nerve. First thing he said to me was 'idiot'. Yeah eric, very smart thing to say to someone who has come close to turning around and running you over. VERY FUCKING SMART. I would have said the exact same thing in your position. He also said at one point not to get cocky. go to hell, i'll be cocky if i want. Better than feeling like shit all the time because of all the damn things you said to me. Such a pessemistic bastard. and if he reads this, which i almost hope he does, he'll probly get annoyed and i'll laugh, because i really could care less. How the hell am i supposed to forgive him.
please someone. tell me how i'm supposed to forgive someone who hurt me that bad. Who made me cry day after day, who still makes me cry every once in a while because of what he did to me. How am i supposed to forgive someone who i let come so close to me and just left me to rot. I realize he has problems, i realize he has shit going on in his life. But honestly, when my dad left us, i never hurt anyone. when my dad was screaming at me for hours on end i never hurt anyone. When my father was tearing my mother to shreads before my eyes, did i use anyone the way he used me? No, never. It's not an excuse. I've been going though a terrible bout of depression. I can't sleep, can't eat. I got mono because of how emotionally stressed i was. And yet i still don't do what he did to me. How can i forgive someone, when i can't find any reason for why they would do it to me.
Idk, maybe i'll eventually find some tiny way to forgive him, but i will never forget what he did. It will always stay with me. and i will always be looking for someone to do this to me again.
mmm, i'll tell yah what tho, if he pulls any bullshit on this vacation, i will rip him down. He says nothing can affect him, but i garentee i can get to him if i have to, and i will defend myself. I've gotten QUITE good at insulting.
i hate how i've become so...
hateful.
I'm not that kind of person. But he just... hurt me so damn much that i feel like i always have to defend myself from everything.
oh well, im an immensely strong person. I can deal with anything that goes my way, i've proven it over and over again and will once more if i have to.
Oh my fucking god, i can't wait to leave.