(no subject)
My daughter now has three freckles. She is very excited about the one she can see, in the crook of her elbow. When she is wearing long sleeves, she will sometimes push them up, asking, "where my freckle?" She always has to check both arms, since she can't remember on which the freckle resides. She is awed by all of my freckles, and hopes to get more one day. I assure her she will.
Have I ever told you that she is very into Ms. Duck, who is just the shadow of my hand in duck position? I should one day.
Then there's withdrawal from Paxil. It is fairly awful so far, and I'm only on half the dose so far, and only for a week. I dread what is to come. The stories online can only be described as horror.
There's also Seth, whose wrist issues are back. Now we fear for his job, his career, our finances, everything.
And I want another kid. And it makes no sense to have one right now, but I am forced to do it now or never because my husband is so very old. I am feeling that oldness very acutely right now. He spends hours heating and stretching his wrists and back every day, and can do little that he used to. We still don't have sex, of course, but that is as it's always been. Now there is the disability. Now there is the chronic depression. Now there is a sense that he can only go downhill from here, like he's an old man. He seems to have given up. Life is just a stressful slog.
I want another kid but don't know why I should bring one into this family, other than for Adira's sake? I don't know. I don't know.
Have I ever told you that she is very into Ms. Duck, who is just the shadow of my hand in duck position? I should one day.
Then there's withdrawal from Paxil. It is fairly awful so far, and I'm only on half the dose so far, and only for a week. I dread what is to come. The stories online can only be described as horror.
There's also Seth, whose wrist issues are back. Now we fear for his job, his career, our finances, everything.
And I want another kid. And it makes no sense to have one right now, but I am forced to do it now or never because my husband is so very old. I am feeling that oldness very acutely right now. He spends hours heating and stretching his wrists and back every day, and can do little that he used to. We still don't have sex, of course, but that is as it's always been. Now there is the disability. Now there is the chronic depression. Now there is a sense that he can only go downhill from here, like he's an old man. He seems to have given up. Life is just a stressful slog.
I want another kid but don't know why I should bring one into this family, other than for Adira's sake? I don't know. I don't know.