for the last week....

[marriedtothesea]

i was so incredibly fucking excited. after nine months worth of applications i finally got an interview with the top of the top ambulance companies in the country. i killed that interview, it was nothing short of perfect. walked out feeling absolutely amazing only to find an email today saying that they went with someone else and to apply for future openings. they posted another opening saturday. my interview was for the posted position before that. so tomorrow im going back and applying again. show them how determined i am and that i want this job more than anything.

i want to start my career as an emt. this is the best company out here for me to do that with. i feel so disillusioned right now but im not giving up. even though everything else in my life has fallen apart in the last few weeks i had this. and it didnt pan out. so now here i am again. alone, no job, and didnt get picked to start my career. i feel so pathetic right now. i just wish there was a reason for why i didnt get taht job in the email or what made the other candidate a better choice for them. im not giving up. hopefully second try is the charm,

if its not, i guess im moving home. im tired of my heart breaking. this month has been hard. first i lost the woman i love, and now i lost (or didnt get) the job i love.