Hazy Despair
When the science news feed is featuring the environmental disaster affecting your country in no less than three separate stories, you know it's bad.
It's the time of year for money-grubbing pyromaniac corporations in neighbouring Indonesia again to set fire to the jungles in a bid to clear the land for palm-oil farming, and the air here in Singapore can be compared to that a smokehouse, with pollution reaching hazardous levels. It's been this way since Tuesday. It peaked on Thursday morning, when I was doing a tour (because some tourists apparently decided that it would be fun to walk outside with crap visibility and the smell of smoke in the air, and my company went along, even AFTER I told them I wasn't feeling well). It peaked again today, and I'm not ashamed to say I would have pulled a real stink if the company had insisted again that I had to lead a tour today. Even though the Pollution Standards Index has thankfully headed south since the highs today, the PM2.5 index, which indicates the concentration of micro-particles in the air, remains high, and I don't have the N95 mask to protect myself from those. The company (heh) hasn't provided them; neither has the foot-dragging, profit-driven government, and to be utterly honest, if the mask obscured our voices anyway, my company would probably make us work without them.
So I am in a BAD MOOD. And worse, I was sucked into FaceBook, alternately elated at the stories of initiative and kindness shown by citizens here; and also driven to despair by the government, its defenders, and those silent local friends busy on FaceBook posting lame religious jokes about the haze, photos of their food (YOU ARE LAME, and now DEFRIENDED) and ignoring, apparently, how REAL this thing is to people who were still working or being asked to work in the midst of it with little or no protection.
I'm not even all that confident that those staying indoors are safe. I've been indoors today, and I still feel worse than if I've been standing next to a barbecue.
I can't breathe, and suddenly all idea of meditation seems like crap. What nutter would want to breathe deeply in this atmosphere? Our leaders, Indonesia's and Singapore's, and all the corporations responsible, are criminal. And I am angry, ANGRY at my friends, at my employer (hi, if you ever care enough to read this, but I don't believe any of you office staff have ever looked up me or my art since I was hired in 2007--surprise me if I'm wrong). Pissed at the sanctimonious people on my friendslist talking about how our consumerism is to be blamed for this haze (NOT MINE, ASSHOLES, I've been ranting about unscrupulous corporations and mindless consumerism long before this haze made it trendy for YOU to do so). I'm just pissed and tired of this, and nope, I don't have the N95 mask. Nor does my kid. And now I'm worried if I've screwed her up.
It's so obvious now that it's easy enough to bring this cash-rich "first-world" country to its knees by just suffocating her with smoke. The government has more than enough money to throw at the problem (not that it would be completely ineffective, after all, the parties responsible ARE profit-driven) but it's showing that it too still sees its citizens as expendable. ("OMG, free up money reserves to help its citizens obtain masks stay home from work? Hell no. They'll get used to leeching!")
The only "blessing" I can see in this situation is that I do have more faith now in the ordinary people on the ground now (excepting my employer and others like them). That faith, however, does not yet extend to their voting habits, and come the next general elections, I WILL add this item to a long list of why this government needs to go. And in the event the ruling party wins again and screws up some more, Janet can again will become the annoying person going "I TOLD YOU SO I TOLD YOU SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU VOTING THESE INCOMPETENTS IN, MORONS?" crazy woman on FB.
Off now to take a shower and do some EFT or something. God knows. And FUCK YOU lousy Singaporeans who are still condoning or making others work outside.
24th June postscript: I put an ableist insult in this rant, and I am sorry. Though no one "caught" me, I'm apologising for it here, but not erasing it from the original as I don't want to be dishonest by pretending it never happened. I will be more conscientious in checking myself in the future.
It's the time of year for money-grubbing pyromaniac corporations in neighbouring Indonesia again to set fire to the jungles in a bid to clear the land for palm-oil farming, and the air here in Singapore can be compared to that a smokehouse, with pollution reaching hazardous levels. It's been this way since Tuesday. It peaked on Thursday morning, when I was doing a tour (because some tourists apparently decided that it would be fun to walk outside with crap visibility and the smell of smoke in the air, and my company went along, even AFTER I told them I wasn't feeling well). It peaked again today, and I'm not ashamed to say I would have pulled a real stink if the company had insisted again that I had to lead a tour today. Even though the Pollution Standards Index has thankfully headed south since the highs today, the PM2.5 index, which indicates the concentration of micro-particles in the air, remains high, and I don't have the N95 mask to protect myself from those. The company (heh) hasn't provided them; neither has the foot-dragging, profit-driven government, and to be utterly honest, if the mask obscured our voices anyway, my company would probably make us work without them.
So I am in a BAD MOOD. And worse, I was sucked into FaceBook, alternately elated at the stories of initiative and kindness shown by citizens here; and also driven to despair by the government, its defenders, and those silent local friends busy on FaceBook posting lame religious jokes about the haze, photos of their food (YOU ARE LAME, and now DEFRIENDED) and ignoring, apparently, how REAL this thing is to people who were still working or being asked to work in the midst of it with little or no protection.
I'm not even all that confident that those staying indoors are safe. I've been indoors today, and I still feel worse than if I've been standing next to a barbecue.
I can't breathe, and suddenly all idea of meditation seems like crap. What nutter would want to breathe deeply in this atmosphere? Our leaders, Indonesia's and Singapore's, and all the corporations responsible, are criminal. And I am angry, ANGRY at my friends, at my employer (hi, if you ever care enough to read this, but I don't believe any of you office staff have ever looked up me or my art since I was hired in 2007--surprise me if I'm wrong). Pissed at the sanctimonious people on my friendslist talking about how our consumerism is to be blamed for this haze (NOT MINE, ASSHOLES, I've been ranting about unscrupulous corporations and mindless consumerism long before this haze made it trendy for YOU to do so). I'm just pissed and tired of this, and nope, I don't have the N95 mask. Nor does my kid. And now I'm worried if I've screwed her up.
It's so obvious now that it's easy enough to bring this cash-rich "first-world" country to its knees by just suffocating her with smoke. The government has more than enough money to throw at the problem (not that it would be completely ineffective, after all, the parties responsible ARE profit-driven) but it's showing that it too still sees its citizens as expendable. ("OMG, free up money reserves to help its citizens obtain masks stay home from work? Hell no. They'll get used to leeching!")
The only "blessing" I can see in this situation is that I do have more faith now in the ordinary people on the ground now (excepting my employer and others like them). That faith, however, does not yet extend to their voting habits, and come the next general elections, I WILL add this item to a long list of why this government needs to go. And in the event the ruling party wins again and screws up some more, Janet can again will become the annoying person going "I TOLD YOU SO I TOLD YOU SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU VOTING THESE INCOMPETENTS IN, MORONS?" crazy woman on FB.
Off now to take a shower and do some EFT or something. God knows. And FUCK YOU lousy Singaporeans who are still condoning or making others work outside.
24th June postscript: I put an ableist insult in this rant, and I am sorry. Though no one "caught" me, I'm apologising for it here, but not erasing it from the original as I don't want to be dishonest by pretending it never happened. I will be more conscientious in checking myself in the future.