(no subject)
Wow, my mother really is psychotic. I didn't just figure this out. I've known for a while. But she has so many mental issues. She places the blame continually on other people instead of herself. Nothing is ever her fault. It never will be. She also has no idea of privacy nor respect for other people's things. She just barges into your room unneccessarily so I can listen to her on the phone with someone. There's no reason for that. When she argues with you, if you retreat to your room, she follows, shouting and spewing obscenities and keeps coming into your room every 10 seconds (literally leaves and then comes back, leaves then comes back) just to shout more stuff at you, like you are really listening to her. She comes into my room so she can get a better view at spying on the neighbors and then starts saying stuff about them, when they're the one's mowing her lawn. They don't have to but they do. And she is ungrateful for it. She takes me to Lowe's (and if you know me, you know the place I hate most in the shopping world is home improvement stores) because she thought that while I was in Best Buy, because I was wondering around and pushing buttons on blenders idly and opening fridges, that means I want one. But really, she wanted to go and made up a reason for me to go to. I repeatedly told her I had no interest in that stuff but she forced me along anyway, all the while staying beside me and not letting me leave her like I was 7. If I left her side, she'd have to come find me and then bring me back to her. Then last night, she says "Let's go to Cape May!" I tell her no thank you. She asks why not and I tell her I have no reason nor desire to go. I'd rather stay home. Plus I might go out with a friend. She gets upset and is like, "Your cousin Kristen went with her mom to North Jersey. Why can't you go with me??" I told her again my reasonings. She then just smirks and says that Kristen is with her mom right now. I told her I was too. And then she says "I'll just get Kristen to go with me since you won't go with me." Trying to make me be like my cousin is completely unwarranted. We lead two completely different lives. Our relationships with our mother are completely different for different reasons.
My mom doesn't understand why her children would want to be independent from her. From anyone. She thinks it's just her. She thinks we should be by her every second of every day and be at her beck and call. That the reason we come home is to serve her for her thousand projects she has around the house. We can't come home and relax. It's just not possible. She has completely alienated us from what we called home. I miss what our house used to be. How it felt. I don't think i'll ever get that back. I wish I could happily say I'm going home. I wish I my mother would just give me the silent treatment. I wish she was not a loud woman.
If anyone wants to kidnap me, I'll be happy.
My mom doesn't understand why her children would want to be independent from her. From anyone. She thinks it's just her. She thinks we should be by her every second of every day and be at her beck and call. That the reason we come home is to serve her for her thousand projects she has around the house. We can't come home and relax. It's just not possible. She has completely alienated us from what we called home. I miss what our house used to be. How it felt. I don't think i'll ever get that back. I wish I could happily say I'm going home. I wish I my mother would just give me the silent treatment. I wish she was not a loud woman.
If anyone wants to kidnap me, I'll be happy.