(no subject)
Dear Grip,
Why did the Giants have to bring back Linden and what can we do to put him back where he belongs
-Lance
Dear Lance,
The Giants brought back Linden because they didn't have me to be mean to people. Also, I heard Moises say that he hates you. I'd say that you need to sabotage Linden every chance you get. How about steroids in the locker? That would put him in his place. Unless you were caught with them.... In that case, I didn't tell you anything.
Love,
Marquis
dear grip
i know this fuckin loser who went 0-5 yesterday and never stops fuckin complaining or talking about how his fuckin dad and uncle used to play baseball like a million years ago. should i kick his ass?
from todd
Dear Todd,
You are illiterate. And yes, you should.
Love,
Marquis
Dear Marquis,
The point of an advice column is to give advice. I wouldnt tell you about my problems otherwise. Your advice did not help me at all.
- Still a Poor Husband on AL EAST TEAM
Dear Still a Poor Husband on AL EAST TEAM,
All right, all right. I'll give better advice, but I deserve something for this. Okay, so, um... you could go to her parents' house, that was where she was, right? Anyway, go wherever the hell she is and say that you will kill yourself if she doesn't come back. It worked with Axl Rose, of course, that was a proposal of marriage and not like... um... whatever. Going on.... Have you said you are sorry yet? Women always like that. When I ran over my wife's cat, I said I was sorry and took her to dinner, and she forgave me. Kind of. Maybe let her go on a shopping spree. That is always a sorry from me. Course, now there isn't so many shopping sprees.... Your freaking question is making me think about my marriage and that makes me angry.
Love,
Marquis
So, advice over. God, I didn't think about this crap before I stole it from Tuck. So much caring that I don't have... damn... um... anyway... so... uh... Del Taco. Right. Sucks. I decided to draw a picture of myself in a Hot Dog on a Stick uniform. It didn't turn out well because there was this line and my manager came and said I have to wait on people instead of drawing on a napkin. Yeah, my manager is a douche, if anyone couldn't guess. He acts like I have to wait on these people, like it's my job or something. I wanted to be a taco maker. I'm good at making tacos. I'm not good at caring about people who eat tacos though, except for me, so this really isn't the job for me. I should quit. Maybe.
The End.
Why did the Giants have to bring back Linden and what can we do to put him back where he belongs
-Lance
Dear Lance,
The Giants brought back Linden because they didn't have me to be mean to people. Also, I heard Moises say that he hates you. I'd say that you need to sabotage Linden every chance you get. How about steroids in the locker? That would put him in his place. Unless you were caught with them.... In that case, I didn't tell you anything.
Love,
Marquis
dear grip
i know this fuckin loser who went 0-5 yesterday and never stops fuckin complaining or talking about how his fuckin dad and uncle used to play baseball like a million years ago. should i kick his ass?
from todd
Dear Todd,
You are illiterate. And yes, you should.
Love,
Marquis
Dear Marquis,
The point of an advice column is to give advice. I wouldnt tell you about my problems otherwise. Your advice did not help me at all.
- Still a Poor Husband on AL EAST TEAM
Dear Still a Poor Husband on AL EAST TEAM,
All right, all right. I'll give better advice, but I deserve something for this. Okay, so, um... you could go to her parents' house, that was where she was, right? Anyway, go wherever the hell she is and say that you will kill yourself if she doesn't come back. It worked with Axl Rose, of course, that was a proposal of marriage and not like... um... whatever. Going on.... Have you said you are sorry yet? Women always like that. When I ran over my wife's cat, I said I was sorry and took her to dinner, and she forgave me. Kind of. Maybe let her go on a shopping spree. That is always a sorry from me. Course, now there isn't so many shopping sprees.... Your freaking question is making me think about my marriage and that makes me angry.
Love,
Marquis
So, advice over. God, I didn't think about this crap before I stole it from Tuck. So much caring that I don't have... damn... um... anyway... so... uh... Del Taco. Right. Sucks. I decided to draw a picture of myself in a Hot Dog on a Stick uniform. It didn't turn out well because there was this line and my manager came and said I have to wait on people instead of drawing on a napkin. Yeah, my manager is a douche, if anyone couldn't guess. He acts like I have to wait on these people, like it's my job or something. I wanted to be a taco maker. I'm good at making tacos. I'm not good at caring about people who eat tacos though, except for me, so this really isn't the job for me. I should quit. Maybe.
The End.